Random Thoughts

[Wryan]

So, I consider myself pretty progressive in a lot of ways, and I have a trans friend I care about very much (great way to start!). And while I trust in the sincerity of an 8-year-old who wants to live life as the other gender, I'm not sure I understand or believe the certainty. I barely have memories of that age myself, tho I know that hardly means much to someone else's experience. Is it even possible to know so early something so profoundly important and challenging and precipitous as that? I ask because I'm not really sure if kids that young should be...what, encouraged (?) to think it or gently steered into more neutral territory until they are old enough and mature enough to be able to handle what that will really mean. There's so much that goes with it about which they don't, maybe can't, have the slightest understanding at that age, other than perhaps an intensely felt instinct. Is that the crux of it? That we let them go develop how they feel they should and consider whatever happens the natural (positive) consequence of it? It'd be rude, I think, to simply say, "No. You don't understand. Don't think about that until you're older and know yourself better." But I can't help feeling that it would also be somewhat reasonable to say that. I'll have to ask my friend what she thinks about it. This has probably been brought up elsewhere, but the Boy Scouts thing got me thinking.

[Dukefrukem]

Moving sucks. So that combined with anything else is exhausting.

[number8]

So, I consider myself pretty progressive in a lot of ways, and I have a trans friend I care about very much (great way to start!). And while I trust in the sincerity of an 8-year-old who wants to live life as the other gender, I'm not sure I understand or believe the certainty. I barely have memories of that age myself, tho I know that hardly means much to someone else's experience. Is it even possible to know so early something so profoundly important and challenging and precipitous as that? I ask because I'm not really sure if kids that young should be...what, encouraged (?) to think it or gently steered into more neutral territory until they are old enough and mature enough to be able to handle what that will really mean. There's so much that goes with it about which they don't, maybe can't, have the slightest understanding at that age, other than perhaps an intensely felt instinct. Is that the crux of it? That we let them go develop how they feel they should and consider whatever happens the natural (positive) consequence of it? It'd be rude, I think, to simply say, "No. You don't understand. Don't think about that until you're older and know yourself better." But I can't help feeling that it would also be somewhat reasonable to say that. I'll have to ask my friend what she thinks about it. This has probably been brought up elsewhere, but the Boy Scouts thing got me thinking.

You could ask your friend about her own experience. Maybe hers'd be different, but the friends and acquaintances I have tend to claim that they've known since a very young age. Some younger than others, obviously, but it usually falls on the tween age or younger. When I hear from late-in-life trans people who've had a "realization," it tends to be a realization that this is what they've wanted since they were a little kid but have suppressed. I get what you're saying about children and the certainty of their desires, but I think it's a mistake to compare it to memory. I suspect that a lot of the suspicion towards trans folks comes from the conflating of gender identity with personality or fashion or taste or sense of purpose or (worst of all) sexual desire. My sense of all of those things were all over the place when I was 8, and you're right, my memory of what I was up to is hazy, but I know that I was already pretty damn sure of who I was back then: my name, my nationality, and definitely my gender. Those are things that I fundamentally had to know about myself in order to function as an individual, even a child, and I believe that it's only fair to give trans folks the same benefit of the doubt that their sense of the most basic identity is as core to them as it is to me. I don't think it's just rude to tell them not to think about this stuff, I think it's gonna be confusing to a child to tell them that there's no way they can be sure of their gender until they get a better understanding of who they are as a person. Like, I'm 31 and I'm still constantly refining the latter.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Busy finding an attic to hide in for when they finally come for me.

One of my co-workers is currently slugging through his visa process. Great guy. From Argentina, so he should be okay. Hoping this isn't a slippery slope. Indonesia for you, right? Bannon's such a grim little fuck.

[Wryan]

I don't think I ever specifically thought of myself as a boy around that time, but that's probably because it was something I didn't struggle with. It just was, and there were too many other things to think about. I can imagine it not being that way for people who feel differently.

Nice response, tho. Thanks!

[number8]

Indonesia for you, right?

Yep. My selfish sense of assurance has been that, unlike other predominantly muslim countries, it's a tropical place where the resort and tourism business flourishes, and Trump hotels are expanding there, so his sense of real estate corruption will probably supersede his xenophobia.

[number8]

I don't think I ever specifically thought of myself as a boy around that time, but that's probably because it was something I didn't struggle with. It just was, and there were too many other things to think about. I can imagine it not being that way for people who feel differently.

Well, precisely, we didn't think about it in terms of, you know, constantly asserting that we were boys and contemplating what that means, but we instinctively knew that we were one. Like, I think about being in elementary school and if the teacher says, "Okay, all the boys go to that side of the classroom," I knew immediately to get up and go there. I never had to second guess that move.

[amberlita]

Anybody have a really good smoothie maker that they'd recommend which doesn't cost more than about $60?

Thanks.

[Irish]

Anybody have a really good smoothie maker that they'd recommend which doesn't cost more than about $60?

Thanks.

Don't know if they cover the smoothie beat, but http://thesweethome.com/ is always worth checking on questions like this.

[amberlita]

Don't know if they cover the smoothie beat, but http://thesweethome.com/ is always worth checking on questions like this.

Cool website! Some of their recs are a bit pricier than I'd normally go for but I looked around elsewhere and notice they endorse Klean Kanteen for best steel and insulated water bottles - both of which I own and are indeed awesome!

[Dukefrukem]

In jury duty today. Should I live tweet the experience?

[number8]

I don't think that's legal?

[Dukefrukem]

It's not. Was joking.

[Dukefrukem]

Live tweeting in the waiting room is though.

[dreamdead]

Hi all, reaching out and asking for positive thoughts. Sarah's been pregnant for about 23 and a half weeks and her water broke on Wednesday--the doctors worry that she has preeclampsia, as her placenta seems to have hemorrhaged at some point in the last week or so. In brief, things don't look good for our baby and I just want to ask for your thoughts and well wishes as we work through the next few days, as the doctors get a clearer picture.

(This shouldn't be broadcast on facebook, but I'll try to keep people up to date here.)

[Irish]

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

You definite have every positive vibe I can throw your way.

[number8]

That's awful, I hope things get better.

[amberlita]

Oh no, just awful news. My heart's aching for your family and I'll be thinking about you and Sarah and the baby everyday. I hope anything good that can happen does happen.

[Skitch]

I cant even imagine what youre going through.
Praying for you guys.

[[ETM]]

I have had dear friends go through this very, very recently. I'm sending you all the good vibes and hope in the world.

[transmogrifier]

My thoughts are with you from all the way over here.

[Scar]

Very sorry to hear that. Best of luck and positive thoughts.

[bac0n]

Sending positive mojo your way, man.


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[dreamdead]

Just a quick update: This morning Sarah lost the baby. Her name was to be Jane Saoirse, which would translate to God's gift is freedom. We meant one thing with her name over Christmas, but we honor its resonance now too.

We continue to welcome your positive thoughts and prayers as we deal with everything, especially Sarah's induced delivery of Jane that still has to happen tomorrow.

[transmogrifier]

My deepest condolences to you and your family.