28 Film Discussion Threads Later

[Spinal]

It's implied. Read between the lines. God.

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Heh. :lol:

[Spinal]

After dragging this conversation on for days and days, I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that we got Gremlins 2 today from Netflix.

[Raiders]

What useless moralizing. But, I'm sure the filmmakers probably knew this too and it's all a part of their genius satire.

You're the first one to use the word "satire."

Chris Columbus is a fool. Yes, it's silly moralizing. That is not what myself and I would assume many others find memorable or enjoyable about the film.

But, I see the flies hovering over the horse; so I look forward to your trashing of the second film so the real argument can begin.

[Irish]

After dragging this conversation on for days and days, I'm sure you'll all be happy to know that we got Gremlins 2 today from Netflix.

In the meantime, can we rename this thread "The Spinal Loves Joe Dante Thread?"

[Bosco B Thug]

At the end of the movie, the Chinese grandfather berates the family with this line: "You do with mogwai what your society... has done with all of nature's gifts. You do not understand."

Some gift, I say. A creature that multiplies instantly at the mere contact of water on a planet that is covered with it on over 70% of its surface. A creature that is intelligent but nonetheless requires monitoring during human's natural sleep cycle, lest it pick up a banana chip and transform into a demon that will completely fuck up your life and town your city town as well. Thanks a lot, Nature.

What useless moralizing. But, I'm sure the filmmakers probably knew this too and it's all a part of their genius satire.

Now I really am not meaning to inflame or get into it once again... but I read that quote by the Chinese grandfather, and it's hilarious! What you wrote is also hilarious (love the banana chip remark), but you have to admit your stand-up wouldn't exist without the knowing collaboration of fellow stand-up artist Gremlins.

[transmogrifier]

If Spinal hates Gremlins 2, I'm gonna burn this place to the ground. Metaphorically speaking.

[Irish]

We need a MatchCut move night. Everybody in this thread needs to rewatch Gremlins 2 at the same time, along with Spinal's family. :lol:

[Spinal]

town your city town

That's an awesome typo, dumb ass.

[D_Davis]

After midnight (in the lunar sense) until sunrise. Boom. Solved. You're welcome.

What if it's fucking cloudy?

[Dead & Messed Up]

It's a good thing The Mike doesn't post here anymore. I think this Gremlins conversation would send him into cardiac arrest.

Was there a general revival of cinematic Oriental mysticism in the mid-eighties? Because there was this silliness in Gremlins, and there were flicks like The Golden Child and Big Trouble in Little China, and Temple of Doom had some bizarre undercurrents. "Indians are either impoverished and helpless...or heart-ripping maniacs!" I can justify that one to some degree thanks to the film's wholesale theft from the equally childish Gunga Din.

Unless anyone has further examples, I'll withdraw my theory.

[Dead & Messed Up]

What if it's fucking cloudy?

The sun still rose, didn't it?

God, it's times like these I think you shouldn't own a Mogwai, D.

[D_Davis]

Was there a general revival of cinematic Oriental mysticism in the mid-eighties? Because there was this silliness in Gremlins, and there were flicks like The Golden Child and Big Trouble in Little China, and Temple of Doom had some bizarre undercurrents. "Indians are either impoverished and helpless...or heart-ripping maniacs!" I can justify that one to some degree thanks to the film's wholesale theft from the equally childish Gunga Din.

Unless anyone has further examples, I'll withdraw my theory.

Most of these things were, in some ways, related to the old pulps, in which Orientalism and general racism towards "Orientals" was more than just a convention - it was practically the cornerstone of the entire movement.

[D_Davis]

The sun still rose, didn't it?

God, it's times like these I think you shouldn't own a Mogwai, D.

What if you took your Mogwai in a plane and flew around the world at a constant speed so that the sun would always be in view? Could the Mogwai then eat all the time?

[D_Davis]

What if you took your Mogwai TO THE FUCKING SUN?

BAM. Logic bomb.

[Spinal]

What if your Mogwai swallowed a raisin at 11:30 pm in the Pacific Time Zone and then travelled into the Mountain Time Zone where it was 12:30 am while the raisin was still in the digestive tract?

[Raiders]

This reminds me of when I suffered from late night reflux and my doctor told me to not eat after 8pm. I decided that logically thinking about it and realizing that once it was morning the next day I could eat was just silly, so I just haven't eaten since.

[D_Davis]

What if your Mogwai swallowed a raisin at 11:30 pm in the Pacific Time Zone and then travelled into the Mountain Time Zone where it was 12:30 am while the raisin was still in the digestive tract?

That movie would be better than Gremlins.

[Boner M]

What if your Mogwai swallowed a raisin at 11:30 pm in the Pacific Time Zone and then travelled into the Mountain Time Zone where it was 12:30 am while the raisin was still in the digestive tract?

You're gonna like Gremlins 2, fo sho.

[Dead & Messed Up]

What if you took your Mogwai TO THE FUCKING SUN?

BAM. Logic bomb.

You'd get almost all the way to the sun, then see the first sun ship that never made it, carrying the same logic bomb, and on board that first sun ship, for the past seven years, was a Gremlin WAITING TO KILL YOU BOTH BECAUSE THE SUN IS GOD, THAT'S WHY.

[D_Davis]

You'd get almost all the way to the sun, then see the first sun ship that never made it, carrying the same logic bomb, and on board that first sun ship, for the past seven years, was a Gremlin WAITING TO KILL YOU BOTH BECAUSE THE SUN IS GOD, THAT'S WHY.

[Ezee E]

Haha. Hearing Spinal complain about Gremlins is going to be even funnier after he watches the sequel.

[Derek]

Please continue setting Spinal's expectation for Gremlins 2 in the stratosphere, cuz I could use a little company when he's inevitably disappointed.

[Qrazy]

Pretty sure the entire structure of Gremlins is a dream within a dream of a dying child guys, so if you bear this in mind it makes a lot more sense... well not sense, but you know.

[Spinal]

What a delight to find that all of my criticisms and ridicule of the first Gremlins film are addressed in the sequel. What a delight to discover that Joe Dante realized that in order to give life to a promising premise, he had to break free from the chains of the story's creator. Surely some of these hilarious move in-gags came from Dante himself. The Ted Turner-esque character, the Leonard Maltin cameo, the colorization gag ... all seem like they fit Dante's sense of humor and film buff sensibilities.

But screenwriter Charles Haas has to receive enormous credit for constructing a world and situation in which these goofy little monsters can succeed, placing the plot within a misguided attempt at creating the perfect office building incorporating the most modern of technology. At last, the gremlins have a reason to be. At last, there is a target for their mayhem that actually fits. Columbus and Dante may very well have been attempting something similar with the first film. But sub-par writing left something lost in the translation and gave us an ugly little mess.

There should be no question as to the first film's major shortcomings, as all one has to do is look to the sequel to see how this sort of film should actually be made. Jokes that are actually funny! Action that is actually exciting! Social critique that actually hits! Gremlins 2 is possibly the greatest improvement over the original that I have ever seen from a sequel. What is strange is that as great as the film is on its own, it probably is even better because it arose out of a film that was subpar. It's the shedding of its own skin, the willingness to own up to its faults and then make amends by finally delivering the neatly orchestrated chaos that we've longed for ... that's what makes the film take flight.

So, in short, I find myself looking back to the original film. And while I am not able to get on board with it as any sort of success, I find myself able to forgive.

This house is clean.

[Spinal]

You're gonna like Gremlins 2, fo sho.

I almost nailed an actual line from the film! Give me credit. And then the guy gets munched. Awesome. I was like, "Thank you! Now we can move on."