TOP TWENTY THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN (SFW)

[Mara]

With bac0n's blessing, I'm going to go ahead and rip off his thread. There probably won't be anything earth-shattering here, as I lead a pretty quiet life. I also picked 20 instead of 37 because it's a nice, round number.

There are two main reasons I wanted to start this thread.

1. The male-to-female ratio at Match-Cut is ridiculous. Maybe I'll draw some of the ladies out of the woodwork. I'm not counting on it, though, so I'm going to be writing to a primarily male reader.

2. Every once in awhile, people get all philosophical and ask the equivilent of "If you could come back in another life, would you choose to be the other gender?" I'm always amazed by the number of people who say yes. I would never, ever, ever want to come back as a man. I love being a woman. Still, I'm trying to keep clear of "Why I'm Glad I'm Not a Man" posts (i.e., "Vital Bodily Organs Belong Inside the Body... Duh.") and concentrate on reasons I'm glad I'm female.

[Mara]

I should perhaps mention that a lot of tradionally girly things are not going to show up on this list, because I don't practice them. I hate shopping. I refuse to wear make-up or high heels. I don't particularly enjoy getting gussied up. I'm not vain and I don't go for pampering or (*shudder*) massages. Being complimented makes me uncomfortable.

[Mara]

20. Gender Role Hypocrisy



The first and most primary reason that it's great to be a woman is that cultural expectations are monumentally unfair in your favor. I enjoy this far more than I should.

If a woman participates in things that are culturally associated with men; like drinking beer and watching sports and swearing, this is seen as being "cool." If a man enjoys kittens and knitting and show tunes, he's seen as being a total wuss.

Therefore, if you are a woman, you can do pretty much anything you want without it damaging your femininity. For the first time in Western history, women have more cultural freedom than men.

And it rules.

[Ezee E]

Thus far, you are correct.

[Mara]

19. Lotion



Lotion is awesome. You smear it all over your skin, and then you get all soft and cuddly.

I really can't stand overly greasy lotions (often labeled something like "body creme") or scented lotions, which irritate my skin. I prefer something that is gentle and effective. (Aveeno, pictured, is excellent.) I rub it all over from my head to my feet, and everything feels better afterwards.

The nicest feeling is if one has just shaved one's legs (an activity which barely missed the cut on my list), and then slathered on lotion, and then put on a nice, widely-cut, filmy skirt and then one goes for a walk. The sunshine and wind on smooth, lotioned legs is lovely.

The second nicest feeling is if it's a lazy Saturday morning, and one has just taken a shower, slathered on the lotion, and then gets back into bed naked between fresh sheets and reads a book for the next couple of hours because one doesn't need to be up yet.

[DavidSeven]

The second nicest feeling is if it's a lazy Saturday morning, and one has just taken a shower, slathered on the lotion, and then gets back into bed naked[...]

This sentence has just been entered into my Top Things That Make Me Feel Like A Man list.

[Mara]

18. The Forbidden Vocabulary



I'm really not sure how men manage to be so careful about the words they do or do not say.

How do they describe things that are cute? Charming? Cuddly? Fantastic? Marvelous? Fabulous? Exquisite? Enchanting?

What do they call someone when they can't call them sweetie? Darling? Precious? Honey?

It's like men are forbidden to use words that are effusively positive. Who came up with that rule?

[Kurosawa Fan]

If a man enjoys kittens and knitting and show tunes, he's seen as being a total wuss.

:cry:

[Mara]

This sentence has just been entered into my Top Things That Make Me Feel Like A Man list.

Psh. Selective editing.

And I'm not saying it's right, KF. Everyone should enjoy kittens.

[Mara]

17. Dancing Alone



I've always been irked by the unspoken rule in clubs, etc. that women are allowed to go out and dance alone, and men really aren't.

But.

This post is about dancing alone alone, i.e., alone in the house with the shades drawn. I feel most like dancing when there is nobody around to criticize or judge my dancing or my preference in music. I get totally into it, screaming along with the lyrics, flipping my hair, jumping up and down.

I probably look ridiculous.

I don't care.

[Mara]

16. Corset Films



Call them what you like. Those who have known me long enough know how much I love this kind of film-- where people are mannered and repressed and there's lots of yearning. Many of them are based on literature (some good, some bad) or on historical events. Some of the films are absolutely awful, but stick a pretty girl in a corset, and I'll probably check it out.

For one thing, this type of film makes for great romance, when used properly. The point of a romantic film is to introduce two people and then keep them apart for two hours worth of plot, and then let them get together. One of the reasons the modern-day romantic film rarely works is because in these enlightened times, there's rarely any good reason for a couple to stay apart for that much plot time. If there is no real tension in the separation, then there is no emotional payoff when the tension is released. (Modern romantic comedies assume that being slightly peeved at a stupid falsehood or misconception is enough to drive destined lovers apart. Since when?)

However, in the good corset romance, there are obligations and reservations that played out in normal life that simply don't exist anymore. Cultural and class boundries kept people apart, as well as family obligations, arranged marriages, angry parents and (sometimes) prior spouses. All this made for couple-separation as binding as the heroine's corset, and made the untanglement all that much more fun.

[Horbgorbler]

Kittens, knitting and showtunes are three of the things that keep me alive, and I'm not slightly ashamed to admit it.

[Watashi]

Kittens, knitting and showtunes are three of the things that keep me alive, and I'm not slightly ashamed to admit it.

Aha! I always knew you were a woman!

[Mara]

15. Chivalry



Not that it happens that often-- and not that I'd be comfortable if it did-- but nothing makes you feel so feminine as when a man is suddenly chivalrous.

Sometimes it's a stranger, who suddenly opens the door for you or gives you his seat on the metro. When it's a stranger, it's often an older gentleman. There's nothing flirty or sexual about it-- it's just a higher form of courtesy, and it's nice.

I'm particularly fond of when I'm walking with an older gentleman (who is not a stranger) and he takes my arm. Sometimes, they will pat my hand that they're holding with the other hand. It's a very gentle, comforting sort of feeling.

When it's someone I know, or someone my own age, it often is flirty. Nothing wrong with that. I don't mind having someone help me with a bag or open a jar for me. Only rarely, when it's overused or insisted upon, it can cross the line into creepy.

Mostly, though, it's just nice. It's that extra bit of attention that makes you feel special and noticed.

[jenniferofthejungle]

17. Dancing Alone


This post is about dancing alone alone, i.e., alone in the house with the shades drawn. I feel most like dancing when there is nobody around to criticize or judge my dancing or my preference in music. I get totally into it, screaming along with the lyrics, flipping my hair, jumping up and down.

That feels wonderful.

[MadMan]

Some say #15 is dead. I disagree. Its just sort of gone dormaint, like 80s music and Pauly Shore's career. I sometimes do it although I feel like its kind of pointless at this point, and that some women are actually annoyed by it.

[soitgoes...]

15. Chivalry



Not that it happens that often-- and not that I'd be comfortable if it did-- but nothing makes you feel so feminine as when a man is suddenly chivalrous.

Sometimes it's a stranger, who suddenly opens the door for you or gives you his seat on the metro. When it's a stranger, it's often an older gentleman. There's nothing flirty or sexual about it-- it's just a higher form of courtesy, and it's nice.

I'm particularly fond of when I'm walking with an older gentleman (who is not a stranger) and he takes my arm. Sometimes, they will pat my hand that they're holding with the other hand. It's a very gentle, comforting sort of feeling.

When it's someone I know, or someone my own age, it often is flirty. Nothing wrong with that. I don't mind having someone help me with a bag or open a jar for me. Only rarely, when it's overused or insisted upon, it can cross the line into creepy.

Mostly, though, it's just nice. It's that extra bit of attention that makes you feel special and noticed.

This sometimes leads to one thing that pisses me off to no end. When I hold a door open for a perfect stranger, and they show absolutely no gratitude whatsoever. I feel like putting my hand smack in the middle of their face and pushing them right back through the door and slamming it shut. I understand that what I'm doing isn't expected or asked for, but show some acknowledgment that what I did was a gesture that didn't have to be made. Usually I'll snidely say "You're welcome" as if they had said thank you. This too is generally ignored.

That being said, I always open and hold the door for a lady. Open the car door first for her, etc. My mom did a good job pounding chivalry into my head.

[Philosophe_rouge]

19. Lotion

Mmmm.... yes. I just had a shower, so lotion time! I have the same one pictured. It's like the most wonderful thing, and you feel extra clean. This list already rocks.

15. Chivalry

I've noticed in the past year or so, that this seems to be really catching on. Before then, I never remember guys opening doors for me... or anyone for that matter. Now it's almost a daily thing. I like it, and don't see why anyone should take offense frankly. I do it too, it's just common courtesy and sometimes it's those little things that can brighten someone's day. I think if we were all a little more chivalrous, the world would be at the very least slightly more pleasent.

[lovejuice]

This sometimes leads to one thing that pisses me off to no end. When I hold a door open for a perfect stranger, and they show absolutely no gratitude whatsoever.

we should not live in the same city then. what pisses me off to no end is a perfect stranger barking for gratitude from a simple act of opening a door which he freaking has to do it eventually provided he's not ellen page from X3.

i definitely say thank you if it's obvious the stranger is holding a door for me. but sometimes a person gets to the door first, that old fart opens it, the act of opening hinders him of any further movement, and someone who is right behind him walk though the door so as not to clog the traffic in a hallway. sometimes i nod my head, but when thought occupies me, i walk by. can't see why i should get verbally attacked for that. that's to me is hundred times more rude.

[MadMan]

Mmmm.... yes. I just had a shower, so lotion time! I have the same one pictured. It's like the most wonderful thing, and you feel extra clean. This list already rocks.


I've noticed in the past year or so, that this seems to be really catching on. Before then, I never remember guys opening doors for me... or anyone for that matter. Now it's almost a daily thing. I like it, and don't see why anyone should take offense frankly. I do it too, it's just common courtesy and sometimes it's those little things that can brighten someone's day. I think if we were all a little more chivalrous, the world would be at the very least slightly more pleasent.

rouge the thing is some girls feel that your intruding on their freedom or something like that. I have yet to encounter that though. So I just keep on opening doors for ladies. Until one of them gets pissed and maces me in the face. Heh.

[monolith94]

Uh, can't stand lotion. I just don't like it, can't explain why. Sort of like how I don't like the feel of cotton balls. *shudder*

thumbs up to reading in bed on a lazy saturday morning though!

[Sycophant]

I used to attend Brigham Young University. The men there hold doors open for women there with such frequency and dedication, it's kind of creepy.

As it is, I hold doors for people if it's not going to put a significant cramp in my schedule or if they (woman, man, whatevs) look like they could use the help.

How do people feel about the car door thing?

Awesome list, by the way, Mara.

[Mara]

I used to attend Brigham Young University. The men there hold doors open for women there with such frequency and dedication, it's kind of creepy.

I graduated from there. And you're right.

That was the only place where a guy I knew was genuinely creepy about it, and that's because he would insist on opening your door and get angry if you opened it for yourself. Weirdo.

[Spinal]

How do people feel about the car door thing?

Seems kind of cheesy to me unless you're opening it for Grandma. It feels to me like you're drawing attention to yourself for something that isn't too hard for the average human being to manage.

[Mara]

14. The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Freidan



It might be one of the best and most important works of the last century. The first time I read it I was sixteen, and I talked about nothing else for days. Later, my mother and younger sister and I read it aloud the summer I turned 19 during a three-day move across the country. We discussed it endlessly. It whetted my appetite not for feminism-- which I'd been brought up with-- but for the history of feminism, which is many ways is more important.

I'm a member of the Sewell-Belmont House and just went down there last week for a lecture. I don't think I would have become interested in things like that if it wasn't for this book.

Naturally, the book could be read by a man, but I doubt the experience would be the same. As a woman, it really gets you thinking about how the culture of victimization is something that you can choose, but you can also reject. It's amazing stuff.