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Thread: The Thread where PA reviews what he's watched because he was bored by not doing that anymore

  1. #1
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    The Thread where PA reviews what he's watched because he was bored by not doing that anymore

    Hey guys long time no see. I'm back if any of you guys remember me from that bygone golden-age of RT and movie forums in general.

    Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto




    Toshiro Mifune stars as a wild ashigaru with grand dreams of becoming a great samurai, who, after saving his injured (and rapey) lifelong friend from the losing side of a battlefield is quickly abandoned by the cowardly attempted rapist and suddenly finds himself on the run through war-torn Japan.

    Toshiro Mifune gives the kind of performance we all expect, a phenomenal one. His switch from wild ashigaru to calm and collected samurai is fantastic, even if it does happen a little suddenly (I would have loved a few transitional scenes in there, but they certainly got the point across by the end of the film). However, my favorite performance in the picture would have had to have been Kuroemon Onoe as the calm and cool, but jovial monk who makes rapists nope the **** out of dodge using nothing but his pointed smile. As soon as he appears the whole picture is elevated by him and he compliments Mifune perfectly. The portrayal of woman in this picture may be seen as "problematic" today but whatever, this was 1954 and I think it's silly to judge a classic by todays standards. So I'll just acknowledge that and move on. If anything it gets across the feeling of desperation that has taken hold of the general population at that time.

    The production design and color photography in this samurai picture is absolutely stunning. Possibly only topped by the late Kurosawa pictures Kagemusha and Ran from 1980 and 1985. The action is very well shot and edited and reminiscent of Kurosawa pictures from that time. The great battle in the first act especially was truly something to behold.

    I really really enjoyed this picture and look forward to watching II and III in the coming days.

    8.5/10
    buzzes like a fridge...

  2. #2
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    The Vault



    What started out as a mildly fun little heist movie quickly devolved into absolute tropey nonsense. And this is coming from someone that often enjoys movies of a tropier nature. I find tropes will often work when they feel like the natural course for story or character to take in film, but this **** was a straight force-feeding beginning with the most shoe-horned in romance I have seen in a movie in recent years.

    I somewhat enjoyed the first 30 or so minutes as well as Liam Cunningham. That's all really want to say about this.

    4/10
    buzzes like a fridge...

  3. #3
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    The Vault: Mission Impossible
    Twitch / Youtube / Film Diary

    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  4. #4
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    The Vault: Mission Impossible
    Yes. But everything is handled awkwardly.
    buzzes like a fridge...

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    Administrator Ezee E's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Paranoid Android (view post)
    The Vault



    What started out as a mildly fun little heist movie quickly devolved into absolute tropey nonsense. And this is coming from someone that often enjoys movies of a tropier nature. I find tropes will often work when they feel like the natural course for story or character to take in film, but this **** was a straight force-feeding beginning with the most shoe-horned in romance I have seen in a movie in recent years.

    I somewhat enjoyed the first 30 or so minutes as well as Liam Cunningham. That's all really want to say about this.

    4/10
    Watched half of this and shut it off once I knew it was just going to do what we all expected it to do.

    But yeah, reminded me that Liam Cunningham is a good director. The Netflix clip they pulled really gave this promise because of his performance.

    Barbarian - ***
    Bones and All - ***
    Tar - **


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    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Ezee E (view post)
    The Netflix clip they pulled really gave this promise because of his performance.
    Yup! I was a little intrigued by Freddie Highmore as well. My wife enjoyed it a little bit more than me (though she still admits it's trash) or else I probably would have turned it off.
    buzzes like a fridge...

  7. #7
    Long time no see!
    Last Seen:
    Pantheon, S2 (C. Silverstein, 2023) ☆
    Pantheon, S1 (C. Silverstein, 2022)
    Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garc?a (S. Peckinpah, 1974)
    Crouching Tiger, Hidden, Dragon (A. Lee, 2000)
    Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (J. McNaughton, 1986) ☆
    Blowup (M. Antonioni, 1966) ☆
    Io capitano (M. Garrone, 2023) ☆
    Raging Bull (M. Scorsese, 1980)
    Network (S. Lumet, 1976) ☆
    Sideways (A. Payne, 2004) ☆

    First time ☆

  8. #8
    I'm the problem it's me DFA1979's Avatar
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    Hi pa! Good to see you here.
    Blog!

    And it's happened once again
    I'll turn to a friend
    Someone that understands
    And sees through the master plan
    But everybody's gone
    And I've been here for too long
    To face this on my own
    Well, I guess this is growing up

  9. #9
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Oh I remember that avatar.

  10. #10
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    It's good to be back guys! Nice to see some familiar faces too. Hope you're all doing well.

    Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple (1955)



    Having improved upon his skill as a swordsman, Musashi Miyamoto (formerly known as Takezo) travels across the countryside in search of knowledge that will allow him to become a truly great samurai. After a deadly duel with a veteran wielding a chain and scythe, Musashi is accused of being nothing but a murderer who lacks the chivalry to be a respected samurai. He must overcome his anger and learn restraint, compassion and humility.

    In this film Musashi is mostly either being attacked on all sides by he thug-like samurai students of a local school or attacked on all sides by the various woman in his life that are all so madly in love him. The fight sequences in this film are very well done, especially near the end of the film where Musashi is outnumbered 80 to 1 and shows how he has improved tactically by leading the men into rice paddies and then a forest. These large fights are where the film is at it's best. They are well choreographed, stylish, and smart. The film is at it's worst with nearly everything involving the love love-crazed women. I felt Otsu and Akemi's stories had a lot more depth and variety in the first film. And while there were a few interesting scenes such as Akemi threatening Otsu with knife then straight up lying to her to discourage her from pursuing Musashi, and Otsu almost becoming a nun in order to forget about Musashi, for the most part I felt like I was being beaten over the head with their love. It was very one note and far too much time was spent with it.

    Toshiro Mifune does a fantastic job delivering a performance of a man that is outwardly more well-composed than in the first film, but inwardly still the same angry beast we know. Scene by scene we watch him learn the lessons he needs to get closer to his goal of being a respected samurai and Mifune's performance evolves accordingly, with it all culminating in the final duel. Visually the movie is just as beautiful as the first, but a little less grand. The adventure and large scale battle with plenty of extras in the first film gave it a more epic scope, compared to this story that takes place in mostly one place. The cinematography, editing, and production design was still fantastic, however.

    Overall I dug it, but prefer the first one. The action sequences were better in this one and Mifune's performance was arguably better as well, but I found the characters surrounding Musashi far more compelling the first film, despite the film itself being mostly set up.

    7.5/10
    buzzes like a fridge...

  11. #11
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Overall I found that series more powerful than any singular part of it. Weird to say, but that's how I felt.

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    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Skitch (view post)
    Overall I found that series more powerful than any singular part of it. Weird to say, but that's how I felt.
    They really do each feel like a small part of a greater whole and I probably would have watched them all at once over an afternoon if I didn't have any other obligations. I'm probably going to watch III tonight (if I can stay awake) and I have feeling I'll feel the same way as you. Also I didn't mention it in the review but I should have... Goddamn that opening fight was awesome. The way it was shot and lit gave it this surreal quality and left me a little disappointed with the other two major 1v1 duels (cuts away early on the duel with Seijuro's brother and the battle with Seijuro while good... was a little short... but I guess that makes sense because I don't think he was supposed to be all that talented of a swordsman.)
    buzzes like a fridge...

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    Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island (1956)



    Musashi Myamoto, who was once a gifted but wild ashigaru, is now a knight-errant that is unmatched in skill with the blade. His renown has caught the eye of Shogun, who would like to utilize him as a teacher and vassal, but has also drawn closer Sasaki Kojirō the ronin. Iching to test his mettle against Musashi, Sasaki obsessively needs to prove that he, not Musashi is the greatest swordsman in all of Japan.

    Straight off the get-go Musashi Myamoto is the fully realized samurai that he was working towards becoming through the first two movies in the trilogy, and Toshiro Mifune perfectly encapsulates this in each and every frame. He is now kind, wise, and completely confident in himself in all things... but the things of love. Samurai II ends with Musashi pouncing on Otsu fully expecting her to be down for some serious love-making, is shut down awkwardly, because Otsu just wasn't ready. Musashi, being totally not an awful rapey bastard like 90% of the men in this series, feels a deep shame over what he did. Which leads me to something that I really loved about this series as whole, when it starts an arch it fucking finishes that arch. When Otsu and Musashi meet again in Samurai III it is very awkward until they actually have an adult conversation about what had happened, and this misunderstanding is handled surprising well for movie from this era. The conversation allows Musashi to move past his shame, and it also give Otsu the perfect opening to once again pour her heart out all of Musashi. The arch completes when Musashi surprises Otsu by referring to her as a "Samurai's wife" like a suave motherfucker.

    Another arch that came to satisfying close was that of Akemi, the daughter of a scheming prostitute, but unfortunately it's a tragic one. Akemi desperately wants to be better person than her wicked mother and in the first film she seems to be a promising young girl with a big heart. In Samurai II we see a bit of her mother come out of her when she lies to Otsu and threatens her with a knife, but she still seems like a nice enough girl deep down... Surely this was just a one time thing. In this final film Akemi completely succumbs to her unfortunate familial traits and unleashes a pack of bandits on an entire fucking town, after Musashi rejects her one final time. Though, we do still see the Akemi we once knew when she snaps to her senses and saves Otsu from the chaos that she totally created, and dying in the process. Her dynamic performance made her one of the highlights of the entire trilogy for me. It was a fantastic tragedy.

    And then there is Sasaki Kojiro, the arrogant, ambitious, and subtly villainous ronin. Everything not only in this film, but the previous two as well is leading up to this final duel between Sasaki Kojiro and Musashi Myamoto. But not because we the audience are dying to know who the better swordsman is... but because Sasaki is the mirror image of Musashi. He is who Musashi used to be. In order for Musashi to truly become the samurai he was always meant to be, he needs to defeat the man he used to be. This final duel is quick, but poignant, leaving Musashi visibly full of emotion while he stares down at the man he once was dead on the sandy shore of Ganryu.

    The only areas where I found this film lacked compared to the first two in the trilogy were in it's actions sequences and visuals. That's not to say it isn't a beautiful and well shot movie, the final duel for instance is absolutely gorgeous and very well choreographed, It just didn't quite have the same level of style and visual flair as what had came before. Where this film truly shines is in it's ability to tie up everything from the previous two films in such a satisfying way. What really impressed me was how it made me appreciate the previous two a lot more, especially Samurai II. I know it's almost cliche to say this, but I actually find it hard to look at them as three separate films because of how well each installment compliments the other. I guess you could say they are three separate movies, but one giant epic. Fantastic film. Fantastic Trilogy.

    8.5/10
    buzzes like a fridge...

  14. #14
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    Paprika (2006)



    In the near future scientists have developed the Mini DC, a technology allowing a person to view or even step inside of another's dreams. When the senior Doctor begins spouting complete nonsense and leaps out of a window it is discovered that someone has stolen a Mini DC and intends to terrorize the public with it.

    To be honest, I almost did not want to review this just yet. I feel like I need to gather my thoughts with a second viewing, but I'm going to give it a shot anyway. This movie is just unreal and I can't believe it has taken me so long to watch it. It's tempting to compare it to the movie that was inspired by it, Inception, but they are actually two very different movies doing very different things. Where Inception is a fairly straight-forward action film revolving around gaining intelligence from unaware dreamers, Paprika is a big emotional ball of repressed feelings and secret desires doubling as a love-letter to cinema. Take for example Detective Toshimi Konakawa who is being given psychiatric help from Paprika secretly: Early on we find out that Toshimi adamantly does not like movies, but over the course of the film we discover this man contains an usual amount of film knowledge. My favorite showcase of this knowledge is when he is explaining to Paprika what "breaking the axis" means while wearing the same hat that was iconic on Akira Kurosawa. What this shows is that not only does he have detailed knowledge of film production, but also fanboyish knowledge of a famous director. By the climax of the movie we learn that Konakawa has been repressing his love for film because he is saddened that he stopped pursuing a career in it after his friend, and filmmaking partner passed away. And this is only one example of many throughout the picture.

    The film is a big emotional release. When everyone's emotions and desires are laid bare waltzing the city streets, we the audience feel a sort of release as well. This feeling is underscored by the film's music. There is a very specific song that is unleashed whenever the chaotic dream parade comes out in full force, and this track really emphasizes the whole movie's point. It is this chaotic carnival of instruments that somehow manages to be both foreboding and relieving, almost comforting? How the hell did Susumu Hirasawa even manage that? It's ****ing impressive. Is it possible to get this on Vinyl? Because I want it. Visually this film really exemplifies what animation can offer as an artform. The way in which Paprika and others hop from dream to dream is not only pleasing to the eye, but also accurate to the very nature of dreaming. I've always found it amazing how natural it feels to completely switch locations within my own dreams, like going from trying to find my seat grade 8 science to driving through a busy street completely nude. These sequences in Paprka are so well done in how familiar they feel to us watching, even if recalling our dreams can be difficult.

    There is a ton to unwrap in this film and this little review, for me, doesn't quite feel sufficient. Like I said, I really want to watch this again soon. I supposed when I get right down to it what really stuck with me was the feeling it gave me when the closing credits came up. Relief. Like a huge weight was taken off of my shoulders. The fact that this film made me feel this emotion to the extent that I imagine is close to the same level as the characters within the film were feeling it, is one hell of an achievement.

    10/10
    buzzes like a fridge...

  15. #15
    I'm the problem it's me DFA1979's Avatar
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    Oh yeah Paprika is a trip and a half. Great movie.
    Blog!

    And it's happened once again
    I'll turn to a friend
    Someone that understands
    And sees through the master plan
    But everybody's gone
    And I've been here for too long
    To face this on my own
    Well, I guess this is growing up

  16. #16
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    Branded to Kill (Seijun Suzuki, 1967)



    Goro Hanada, the number 3 rated hitman in the Japanese underworld, accepts an impossible job from a beautiful woman (because he's fallen in love with her), but a butterfly lands on his gun and causes him to completely botch it. He then finds himself on the run from the other highly rated hitman in the area.

    This movie is completely insane. Like batshit crazy nearly incomprehensible insane. Like if crack cocaine was a person and Mr. Crack Cocaine made a movie, I think this is what Crack Cocaine would make. And you know what? Mr. Crack Cocaine would make a pretty fucking awesome movie. Mr. Crack Cocaine is actually Seijun Suzuki, and without him, this movie would have been just another b-movie, but what he created instead was a stylish, genre-bending, sexploitative, satirical, and absurd work of art.

    Take Goro Hanada. He's the number 3 hitman in all of Japan, and we are definitely shown evidence of this during the first job he takes escorting an important man across the city. When things go awry he immediately takes control of the situation and handles the threats with skillful precision. Now this is all very cool and gritty, bad ass even, but what about rice? Have you ever even smelled boiling rice? Have you ever required the sweet aroma of rice boiling to get sufficiently turned on for a night of beastial sex? No? Weird. Goro Hanada loves the smell of boiling rice, it's just what gets his groove on, and while watching this I quickly decided to assume that that has to be why his cheeks are so puffy. He just likes to keep a little extra in there to snack on throughout the day. Hanada is the perfect mixture of cool and ridiculous. He's equal parts effortless hitman and satirical clown, and the perfect protagonist in a plot so imbedded in the absurd.

    I called this movie incomprehensible but that was a bit of hyperbole, it's nearly incomprehensible. There's a lot of interesting stuff bouncing around and it actually can be pretty fun to try to piece it all together. Like the two woman featured in the film. You have Hanada's over-the-top wild wife, who is nearly always either attempting to have sex with him (boil the rice), or have sex with another deadly Yakuza (gotta keep her options open), but then Hanada doesn't really love her, so who cares? Then you have Misako, the nihilistic unemotional mistress that Hanada is in love with, but she is obsessed with death and will refuse all advances unless he kills her. She also has an home that is full of dead butterflies, which also happens to be the insect that caused all of Hanada's misfortune, coincidence? It's just all another surreal layer in this absurd stack of pancakes of a movie and plenty fun to ponder the significance of. You truly never know where this film is going to take you, which makes it easy to see how filmmakers like Tarantino, Jarmusch, and probably Guy Ritchie (at least his early work) were heavily influenced by it.

    I would be lying though if I didn't admit that the movie could stand to be a little less incoherent. There were plenty of times throughout the film that I really had to strain to figure out what exactly was going on, and while this is part of the film's charm, at times it took me out of the movie in a way that was less playful and more aggravating. The most important thing about this film, to me, though is how ******* fun it is to watch. It just flew by. And even though It might not make a whole lot of sense, hell it might even try it's hardest to make the least amount of sense that it can, it's over-the-top action, abundance of style, and absurd sense of humor really make it a film that is absolutely worth watching.

    8.5/10
    buzzes like a fridge...

  17. #17
    The Phony King Paranoid Android's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting DFA1979 (view post)
    Oh yeah Paprika is a trip and a half. Great movie.
    Just loved it. Needs a rewatch, though. Gonna try to convince my wife, who has an aversion to anime, to watch it with me sometime soon.
    buzzes like a fridge...

  18. #18
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    If you haven't seen Perfect Blue, do asap. Its even better than Paprika imo. While Paprika is an incredible exercise in animation and madness, Perfect Blue is a hair bit less crazy. But only a hair lol

  19. #19
    Agreed. Paprika is cool, but Perfect Blue is next level. Maybe not the best movie to convert your wife into an anime-lover however.

  20. #20
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Idioteque Stalker (view post)
    Agreed. Paprika is cool, but Perfect Blue is next level. Maybe not the best movie to convert your wife into an anime-lover however.
    Those are facts lol

  21. #21
    I'm the problem it's me DFA1979's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Paranoid Android (view post)
    Just loved it. Needs a rewatch, though. Gonna try to convince my wife, who has an aversion to anime, to watch it with me sometime soon.
    I think I prefer anime movies to anime TV shows for the most part.
    Blog!

    And it's happened once again
    I'll turn to a friend
    Someone that understands
    And sees through the master plan
    But everybody's gone
    And I've been here for too long
    To face this on my own
    Well, I guess this is growing up

  22. #22
    I'm the problem it's me DFA1979's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Idioteque Stalker (view post)
    Agreed. Paprika is cool, but Perfect Blue is next level. Maybe not the best movie to convert your wife into an anime-lover however.
    I like both equally. Perfect Blue is a fantastic horror movie though.
    Blog!

    And it's happened once again
    I'll turn to a friend
    Someone that understands
    And sees through the master plan
    But everybody's gone
    And I've been here for too long
    To face this on my own
    Well, I guess this is growing up

  23. #23
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting DFA1979 (view post)
    I think I prefer anime movies to anime TV shows for the most part.
    I think I'm in same boat. There are so many anime shows that hit NF and stuff and most of them would be better served in a movie form.

  24. #24
    Evil mind, evil sword. Ivan Drago's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Paranoid Android (view post)
    Hey guys long time no see. I'm back if any of you guys remember me from that bygone golden-age of RT and movie forums in general.
    Welcome back! Did you go by the same screen name on RT or did you use a different one? I wish I wasn't drawing a blank but I am.
    Last Five Films I've Seen (Out of 5)

    The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse (Mackesy, 2022) 4.5
    Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (Crawford, 2022) 4
    Confess, Fletch (Mottola, 2022) 3.5
    M3GAN (Johnstone, 2023) 3.5
    Turning Red (Shi, 2022) 4.5
    Tokyo Story (Ozu, 1953) 5

    615 Film
    Letterboxd

  25. #25
    Quote Quoting Ivan Drago (view post)
    Welcome back! Did you go by the same screen name on RT or did you use a different one? I wish I wasn't drawing a blank but I am.
    He was the same. Even the avatar!
    Last Seen:
    Pantheon, S2 (C. Silverstein, 2023) ☆
    Pantheon, S1 (C. Silverstein, 2022)
    Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garc?a (S. Peckinpah, 1974)
    Crouching Tiger, Hidden, Dragon (A. Lee, 2000)
    Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (J. McNaughton, 1986) ☆
    Blowup (M. Antonioni, 1966) ☆
    Io capitano (M. Garrone, 2023) ☆
    Raging Bull (M. Scorsese, 1980)
    Network (S. Lumet, 1976) ☆
    Sideways (A. Payne, 2004) ☆

    First time ☆

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