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Thread: 2020 Quarantined Watches

  1. #26
    Since 1929 Morris Schæffer's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Morris Schæffer (view post)
    I didn't like it. More tomorrow.
    So yeah The Princess Bride. I was aware of the sort of movie that it was, and I certainly knew of its reputation, but as soon as I saw Peter Falk walking into Fred Savage's room, sitting down next to his bed and grabbing a book, I knew it was going to be, well possibly not for me. I realized that none of what I was about to see was actually happening, it's the kid acquiring a mental picture because of the tale that's being read to him. Bridge to Terabithia did it, The Neverending Story also, and The Chronicles of Narnia too is a tale of kids bored, pretending there's a better world than war-ravaged Europe, and off they go, whisked to a magical land that's entirely borne from their imagination. It's pretending, I can imagine we all did it when we were young, and perhaps still do, but it takes me out of the moment almost immediately. It'd be like The Lord of the Rings ending with Elijah Wood sitting on a chair back in the shire, mumbling something along the lines of "Damn, that sure would have been sweet, too bad I didn't have the balls to actually go on this journey. Oh well." For sure, I exagerate and it's not literally the same situation, but still. The Princess Bride actually cuts back and forth a few times in the beginning which undermined my ability to suspend disbelief even further. Beauty and the Beast 1991 also starts with voiceover, but as soon as that's done with, it segues into the movie proper, never again, as far as I recall at least, returning to David Ogden Stier's narrator.

    And the whole movie plays out as such, it's never gripping or engaging to the point that I was really on board with any of it. It's extremely light weight and devoid of any sort of major stakes. [
    ]. It feels like a recreation, a land imagined by the boy, and thus justifiably spartan in its setting and facile in the way it unfolds, but not something that swept me along sadly. Sure, I enjoyed Patinkin's Inigo Montoya, but felt no closure, no sense of satisfaction when he got his revenge. Although I had to chuckle when Montoya got stabbed, seemingly resulting in a fatal wound, but then somehow pulled himself together for another round because that's what the boy would have wanted.

    This must be the first damsel in distress movie in which the damsel doesn't appear to be in any distress at all. Or if she did, that it wouldn't really matter to me what happened to Buttercup.

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    • Prey (Trachtenberg, 2022) ✦✦✦ [-]
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    • Better Call Saul (S6) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Halo (S1) ✦✦✦ [-]
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    • H4Z4RD (Govaerts, 2022/BE) ✦✦½ [-]
    • Gangs of London (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • We Own This City (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Thor: Love and Thunder (Waititi, 2022) ✦✦ [+]


  2. #27
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    But...its a comedy. It's like you're saying you didnt like Airplane because the plot wasnt believable. It's supposed to be ridiculous.

    At least that's how I always read it.

  3. #28
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    ^That, and I am puzzled by the LOTR mention too, which makes it seems like you take the story even more seriously than the grandson. I would not say it's an outright satire or full comedy, but quite a fair bit of it is certainly tongue-in-cheek and postmodern.
    Midnight Run (1988) - 9
    The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) - 8.5
    The Adventures of Robinhood (1938) - 8
    Sisters (1973) - 6.5
    Shin Godzilla (2016) - 7.5

  4. #29
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    I'm at a loss for words at that write up.
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  5. #30
    The Princess Bride is kinda boring.
    Last 10 Movies Seen
    (90+ = canonical, 80-89 = brilliant, 70-79 = strongly recommended, 60-69 = good, 50-59 = mixed, 40-49 = below average with some good points, 30-39 = poor, 20-29 = bad, 10-19 = terrible, 0-9 = soul-crushingly inept in every way)

    Run
    (2020) 64
    The Whistlers
    (2019
    ) 55
    Pawn (2020) 62
    Matilda (1996) 37
    The Town that Dreaded Sundown
    (1976) 61
    Moby Dick (2011) 50

    Soul
    (2020) 64

    Heroic Duo
    (2003) 55
    A Moment of Romance (1990) 61
    As Tears Go By (1988) 65

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  6. #31
    Since 1929 Morris Schæffer's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Skitch (view post)
    But...its a comedy. It's like you're saying you didnt like Airplane because the plot wasnt believable. It's supposed to be ridiculous.

    At least that's how I always read it.
    I just didn't find it all that funny, sort of amusing once or twice at best. Nor is it ridiculous enough, certainly nowhere near Airplane's gag ratio. It nowhere near swings the pendulum far enough to be considered comedy for me, nor does it go far enough in any other directions to be considered, if not comedy, then at least something else.

    But yeah, I get what it's trying to do, it's certainly not this epic adventure, nor did I expect it to be.

    This movie is almost something which exists, going through the motions, never going far enough in one direction to feel like it was worth my time, let alone something to become a yearly tradition.

    EDIT: the movie has a running gag where one character just yells 'INCONCEIVABLE' for far too long in a super annoying Gilbert Gottfried kinda voice. I guess I don't find that inspired at all. It's a man yelling 'INCONCEIVABLE' and outstaying his welcome doing so.
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    • Dark (S3) ✦✦✦½ [-]
    • Fall (Mann, 2022) ✦✦✦½ [-]
    • Ms. Marvel (S1) ✦½ [+]
    • Dark (S2) ✦✦✦✦
    • Moon Knight (S1) ✦✦½ [-]
    • Get Carter (Hodges, 1971) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Prey (Trachtenberg, 2022) ✦✦✦ [-]
    • Black Bird (S1) ✦✦✦✦
    • Better Call Saul (S6) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Halo (S1) ✦✦✦ [-]
    • Slow Horses (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • H4Z4RD (Govaerts, 2022/BE) ✦✦½ [-]
    • Gangs of London (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • We Own This City (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Thor: Love and Thunder (Waititi, 2022) ✦✦ [+]


  7. #32
    Cinematographer Mal's Avatar
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    I understand how its beloved in most circles and thats cool, it brings comfort to a lot of folks in that animated Disney film way, where its an escape and not too deep in its ways of managing the entertainment. But I'm not the biggest fan of Princess Bride. I feel its a bit overrated and doesn't have the makings of a true comedy classic *BUT* I will say... the casual nature of the film is what I find most enjoyable about it. Its not too comic-y, not too outlandish- it takes its time and enjoys each setting it takes place in. A stripped-down fantasy tale appeals to me and I think it does a good job at that (especially since any Fred Savage-like kid at that time wouldn't be imagining any kind of CGI spectacle).

  8. #33
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    High Fidelity (2000) - Have strong uh-oh feeling during the early parts, as it seems like this is gonna be 500 Days of Summer if the lead is even more self-pitying and toxic. Somewhere though my feeling... doesn't exactly flip, but becomes more nuanced as the film peels back and lets us peek through all the camera addresses into glimpses of Rob's own actions (a tactic best encapsulated in the revealing scene of him imagining what Laura might have said to her friend to make the latter suddenly hate him). It miraculously ends up somewhere that doesn't lessen Laura and Rob in the conflict, with one of the most normal yet most romantic asks of all time. Along the way are great soundtrack, some pop culture hang-ups so specifically obsessive as to be relatable, and a slew of colorful supporting characters. Delighted to see the Jack Black persona burst on screen here so fully too. 8/10

    (Sidenote: I know about the TV adaptation starring Zoë Kravitz going into this film, and it throws me for a big loop when Lisa Bonet appears looking exactly like her. Takes me some good minutes of wondering about Kravitz's age before I figure it out.)
    Midnight Run (1988) - 9
    The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) - 8.5
    The Adventures of Robinhood (1938) - 8
    Sisters (1973) - 6.5
    Shin Godzilla (2016) - 7.5

  9. #34
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    That minor earthquake you felt, Morris? That was Andre rolling over in his grave.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  10. #35
    Guttenbergian Pop Trash's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting MadMan (view post)
    Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 is good fun and has some nice creepy moments. Sure it steals from other, better horror movies but I still liked it anyways. I prefer it over the first one since it is more entertaining. The demonic rocking horse part is awesome and hey a girl gets impaled with neon.
    I love that movie. I mean, sure it rips off "better" movies. Is it objectively great? I don't know and I don't care. It simply "delivers the goods" in the way that Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter "delivers the goods." It's like best possible version of that movie you could do. Like just when you think the movie couldn't get any better, you get full frontal nudity from the goody two shoes lead character as she proceeds to kill people by smashing them between lockers. It also uses the Michael Ironside rule that any movie with Michael Ironside can't be all bad simply by having Michael Ironside. See also: the Elias Koteas rule.

    I just wish Shout! Factory or someone would remaster it in 4K widescreen since so many of the prints on streaming (Amazon Prime) are shitty SD pan-and-scan garbage.
    Last edited by Pop Trash; 03-28-2020 at 08:38 PM.
    Ratings on a 1-10 scale for your pleasure:

    Top Gun: Maverick - 8
    Top Gun - 7
    McCabe & Mrs. Miller - 8
    Crimes of the Future - 8
    Videodrome - 9
    Valley Girl - 8
    Summer of '42 - 7
    In the Line of Fire - 8
    Passenger 57 - 7
    Everything Everywhere All at Once - 6



  11. #36
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Watched that Tiger King series on Netflix. Boy howdy was that the definition of Florida Man.

    Oh, and I can't take credit for this: Gentlemen, you're one bag of meth from being one of Joe Exotic's husbands.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  12. #37
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Scar (view post)
    Watched that Tiger King series on Netflix. Boy howdy was that the definition of Florida Man.

    Oh, and I can't take credit for this: Gentlemen, you're one bag of meth from being one of Joe Exotic's husbands.
    Every one of those side characters should have their own full Netflix documentary. Bonkers.
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  13. #38
    Cinematographer Mal's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Pop Trash (view post)

    I just wish Shout! Factory or someone would remaster it in 4K widescreen since so many of the prints on streaming (Amazon Prime) are shitty SD pan-and-scan garbage.
    I would buy this on blu in a heartbeat. What a crazy goddamn movie. I saw it at a horror thon on film last october and it was really incredible with a huge audience.

  14. #39
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    The michael ironside rule is fact. I love Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone.

  15. #40
    Here till the end MadMan's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Pop Trash (view post)
    I love that movie. I mean, sure it rips off "better" movies. Is it objectively great? I don't know and I don't care. It simply "delivers the goods" in the way that Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter "delivers the goods." It's like best possible version of that movie you could do. Like just when you think the movie couldn't get any better, you get full frontal nudity from the goody two shoes lead character as she proceeds to kill people by smashing them between lockers. It also uses the Michael Ironside rule that any movie with Michael Ironside can't be all bad simply by having Michael Ironside. See also: the Elias Koteas rule.

    I just wish Shout! Factory or someone would remaster it in 4K widescreen since so many of the prints on streaming (Amazon Prime) are shitty SD pan-and-scan garbage.
    I am surprised that Shout Factory has not done such a remaster. Also I agree with the Final Chapter comparison (another movie I love despite it's flaws). Michael Ironside literally does improve every movie he is in, and TV shows, too.
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  16. #41
    Here till the end MadMan's Avatar
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    I forgot I watched One False Move (1991)

    That movie is largely based on Bill Paxton being his usual excellent acting self, and it works. The film's plot is basic, however it's the cast and the acting that sells the movie. It is a realistic styled film noir that is as much a drama as it is a film noir, and how it plays out feels like a bleak destiny that no one involved could escape.

    Oh and I do want to visit Arkansas one of these days. I hear it's pretty. It was odd seeing Billy Bob Thornton before he hit it big, and Cynda Williams was fantastic. Viewed thanks to Crackle, which isn't a bad free streaming service.
    Last edited by MadMan; 03-29-2020 at 07:34 AM.
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  17. #42
    Here till the end MadMan's Avatar
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    I am choosing to ignore any bad mouthing of The Princess Bride.

    Tammy and The T-Rex is a comedy where Paul Walker goes on a killing spree after being turned into a dinosaur. Denise Richards loves him anyways. I am not sure what this movie even was or how to rate it, but it was a movie. I did laugh, though. Shudder had the restored version, which is nice.
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  18. #43
    Since 1929 Morris Schæffer's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting MadMan (view post)
    I am choosing to ignore any bad mouthing of The Princess Bride.
    I'll tell you what Maddy, I'm not gonna ignore you liking One False Move. That's a great flick!
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    • Thor: Love and Thunder (Waititi, 2022) ✦✦ [+]


  19. #44
    Here till the end MadMan's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Morris Schæffer (view post)
    I'll tell you what Maddy, I'm not gonna ignore you liking One False Move. That's a great flick!
    Sorry I'm petty no one should have to like everything, if we all did it would be a boring world. Yes One False Move lives up to the hype. Siskel had it as his best flick of 1994, or at least his favorite one.
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  20. #45
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    Point Blank (1967) - I wonder what the woman who wanted to sue Drive would think of this. Point Blank clamps down its protagonist even further into an id brute force, and ups the thrilling, often percussive abstraction, sans any of the former's romanticism. The result is one single-minded blast of pure forward-momentum action. 8.5/10

    And man, how great is this scene:

    Midnight Run (1988) - 9
    The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) - 8.5
    The Adventures of Robinhood (1938) - 8
    Sisters (1973) - 6.5
    Shin Godzilla (2016) - 7.5

  21. #46
    Here till the end MadMan's Avatar
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    Point Blank rules.
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  22. #47
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Since weve just been re-quarantined for another 2 weeks, wife decided it was time we get Amazon prime so we can order stuff instead of making people run for us.

    I burned through The Boys in a day...I've added a few other shows, but I havent quite figured out how to look around real well yet. So...recommend me some stuff to add to my queue!

  23. #48
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    The Expanse (sci-fi) and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (comedy)!
    Midnight Run (1988) - 9
    The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) - 8.5
    The Adventures of Robinhood (1938) - 8
    Sisters (1973) - 6.5
    Shin Godzilla (2016) - 7.5

  24. #49
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    YES to the Expanse. I can't believe more people haven't watched that.

    I heard Man in the Iron Castle was good. But I have not seen in personally. Same goes with Bosch
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  25. #50
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    The expanse was one of the first I added. Way duke talked about it. I'm all over it.

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