Pretty much far and away my favourite of the year now, replacing the harder to feel comfortable with (and especially tiresome to defend) mother!, which previously toppled above my other favourites of the year in large part because no matter what how much love I felt about it or could even concede about it to others on the negative side, it just felt so amazingly alien and outside of anything else made this year that it still felt vividly exceptional.
But now Call Me By Your Name is the one that, even for its more hypothetical straightforwardness, is the one I most can't quite know how to describe. It's the film that just made me feel the most the whole way though, completely gripped by it in the most cinematically sumptuous and indelible of ways, not knowing how to even really assess it like I would most other movies, just wrapped up in it as more of an increasingly emotionally, transportive daydream.
And it is the kind of work I'd dream about existing that never really seems to, or would even romanticize about movies I'd watched when I was younger, only to revisit them and realize that they weren't as they'd had remained in my memory, leaving me concerned if either they were never as wondrous as I remembered, or fear that I had instead changed considerably myself, fearful that I'd lost something in me to feel that way about films, either ones similar to it or otherwise, in the past or still unseen in the future.
But in this present, in these final days of this year, I can absolutely say I can't imagine having had a more beautiful experience with it. And like much of what the film ends up being about, I'm beyond glad I had this time with it, because it's of a rare sort. Unlike Elio though, I have the reality-breaking gift of being able to return to it all.
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