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Thread: Transformers: Hopefully The Last One (Michael Bay)

  1. #1
    Moderator TGM's Avatar
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    Transformers: Hopefully The Last One (Michael Bay)

    Fuck it, who cares.

  2. #2
    Moderator TGM's Avatar
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    Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I whole heartedly owe Dark of the Moon an apology for all the shit I talked about it, because compared to this, that film is a god damn five star masterpiece. And for that matter, every single other movie that I talked shit about this year is officially off the hook, too. I have seen some shit in my life, but I didn't think movies could get this bad. Because quite frankly, this may very well be the absolute worst fucking movie I have ever seen in my goddamn life. Like, my god, what the fuck was that?!

  3. #3
    White Tiger Field Stay Puft's Avatar
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    Giving up in 2020. Who cares.

    maɬni – towards the ocean, towards the shore (Sky Hopinka) ***½
    Without Remorse (Stefano Sollima) *½
    The Marksman (Robert Lorenz) **
    Beckett (Ferdinando Cito Filomarino) *½
    Night Hunter (David Raymond) *

  4. #4
    Administrator Ezee E's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    Fuck it, who cares.
    What made you interested?

    Barbarian - ***
    Bones and All - ***
    Tar - **


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  5. #5
    Evil mind, evil sword. Ivan Drago's Avatar
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    I keep seeing the trailers for this before every movie I see, and I tell myself, "That looks fucking awesome."

    Then I tell myself, "Do NOT fall for the trap."

    That kept me from seeing Age of Extinction when it came out.
    Last Five Films I've Seen (Out of 5)

    The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse (Mackesy, 2022) 4.5
    Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (Crawford, 2022) 4
    Confess, Fletch (Mottola, 2022) 3.5
    M3GAN (Johnstone, 2023) 3.5
    Turning Red (Shi, 2022) 4.5
    Tokyo Story (Ozu, 1953) 5

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  6. #6
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Sounds like every Bay Transformers. Im in.

  7. #7
    Moderator TGM's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Ezee E (view post)
    What made you interested?
    I actually liked the previous entry.

    In fact, before now, DotM was the only one I hadn't liked.

  8. #8
    Moderator TGM's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Skitch (view post)
    Sounds like every Bay Transformers. Im in.
    God, if only this were actually like his other movies...

  9. #9
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    The third entry might be the best- the 3D was impressive during the skydive sequence.
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  10. #10
    Moderator TGM's Avatar
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    Age of Extinction
    Transformers
    -
    Revenge of the Fallen
    -
    Dark of the Moon
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    The Last Knight

  11. #11
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    Are you sure you're not mixing up Dark of the Moon and Revenge of the Fallen?
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  12. #12
    Moderator TGM's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    Are you sure you're not mixing up Dark of the Moon and Revenge of the Fallen?
    100% positive. DotM was boring as shit and insufferable to sit through. RotF I actually enjoyed the first time around, just found it sorta meh on a rewatch.

  13. #13
    In the belly of a whale Henry Gale's Avatar
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    At this point, I actually look at the original as the weakest because it's the dullest of the bunch, despite being the least offensive of them and the one that arguably holds together best as an actually functional movie.

    The rest are just so fucking LSD-laced batshit that they provide an entertainment value beyond ever having to contemplate whether or not what I'm watching is actually "good", because it's just so unlike anything any rational minds would ever come up with that I just marvel at them. (And they provide some gorgeous landscapes while staging some gripping action in between, since I don't think anyone should ever question Bay on his instincts there.)

    The Bud Light truck crash scene in Age of Extinction is just the peak of insanity of all corporate filmmaking. I think about that scene so often.
    Last edited by Henry Gale; 06-21-2017 at 11:35 PM.
    Last 11 things I really enjoyed:

    Speed Racer (Wachowski/Wachowski, 2008)
    Safe (Haynes, 1995)
    South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Parker, 1999)
    Beastie Boys Story (Jonze, 2020)
    Bad Trip (Sakurai, 2020)
    What's Up Doc? (Bogdanovich, 1972)
    Diva (Beineix, 1981)
    Delicatessen (Caro/Jeunet, 1991)
    The Hunger (Scott, 1983)
    Pineapple Express (Green, 2008)
    Chungking Express (Wong, 1994)

  14. #14
    collecting tapes Skitch's Avatar
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    Yep, I'm with Henry!

    IF Bay is serious this time about stepping away, what should happen going forward (because they will make more)? I would love to see a more real actual movie instead of just nonsense (obviously), but who could direct? Removing obvious choice of JJ. I would like to see one set in the 70s, a smaller contained story instead of a world-ending threat. A George Miller Transformers would be mind melting.

  15. #15
    Cinematographer Mal's Avatar
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    Unless I die or my sister changes her mind about these movies between now and Sunday.... I'll be seeing this over the weekend. Most reluctant viewing ever in my life.

  16. #16
    Moderator Dead & Messed Up's Avatar
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    I stopped after the second.

    I'm happy.

  17. #17
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    Yeah, I kinda enjoyed the first one. Then stopped dead after the second and never look back.
    Midnight Run (1988) - 9
    The Smiling Lieutenant (1931) - 8.5
    The Adventures of Robinhood (1938) - 8
    Sisters (1973) - 6.5
    Shin Godzilla (2016) - 7.5

  18. #18
    Evil mind, evil sword. Ivan Drago's Avatar
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    I love how we're talking about the last movie we saw in this series as if we quit a bad addiction.

    I stopped after the third.
    Last Five Films I've Seen (Out of 5)

    The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse (Mackesy, 2022) 4.5
    Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (Crawford, 2022) 4
    Confess, Fletch (Mottola, 2022) 3.5
    M3GAN (Johnstone, 2023) 3.5
    Turning Red (Shi, 2022) 4.5
    Tokyo Story (Ozu, 1953) 5

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  19. #19
    Piss off, ghost! number8's Avatar
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    Out of the two I bothered to watch, I liked the first because of how much Spielberg DNA was in it simmering under the Bayhem, so I guess if I had to pick a replacement director, I'd like to see Spielberg.
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  20. #20
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting number8 (view post)
    Out of the two I bothered to watch, I liked the first because of how much Spielberg DNA was in it simmering under the Bayhem, so I guess if I had to pick a replacement director, I'd like to see Spielberg.
    If I remember correctly the teaser trailer was very Spielbergian as well.
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?

  21. #21
    The Pan Spinal's Avatar
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    I stopped after Armageddon.
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

  22. #22
    In the belly of a whale Henry Gale's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting number8 (view post)
    Out of the two I bothered to watch, I liked the first because of how much Spielberg DNA was in it simmering under the Bayhem, so I guess if I had to pick a replacement director, I'd like to see Spielberg.
    Dark of the Moon's opening has a Spielbergian feel to it as well, since I think I remember hearing at one point that he came up with the idea for it. But hoo boy, after the last one and what I gather about this new one, I can't imagine Steven wanting to associate himself with these anymore outside of his now-vague EP credit. (Assuming the other one you saw was Revenge of the Fallen.)

    And yet I kiiiinda feel like saying they're worth watching just because they're so singularly, magnificently insane. (As in, astonishingly juvenile while also being visually stunning to behold more often than not.)
    Last 11 things I really enjoyed:

    Speed Racer (Wachowski/Wachowski, 2008)
    Safe (Haynes, 1995)
    South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Parker, 1999)
    Beastie Boys Story (Jonze, 2020)
    Bad Trip (Sakurai, 2020)
    What's Up Doc? (Bogdanovich, 1972)
    Diva (Beineix, 1981)
    Delicatessen (Caro/Jeunet, 1991)
    The Hunger (Scott, 1983)
    Pineapple Express (Green, 2008)
    Chungking Express (Wong, 1994)

  23. #23
    Since 1929 Morris Schæffer's Avatar
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    Definitely more of a dotm than a rotf (rolling on the floor?) Guy. First one is tops, perhaps one of the 5 best scored blockbusters of the past 10 years.
    [+] closer to next rating / [-] closer to previous rating

    • Dark (S3) ✦✦✦½ [-]
    • Fall (Mann, 2022) ✦✦✦½ [-]
    • Ms. Marvel (S1) ✦½ [+]
    • Dark (S2) ✦✦✦✦
    • Moon Knight (S1) ✦✦½ [-]
    • Get Carter (Hodges, 1971) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Prey (Trachtenberg, 2022) ✦✦✦ [-]
    • Black Bird (S1) ✦✦✦✦
    • Better Call Saul (S6) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Halo (S1) ✦✦✦ [-]
    • Slow Horses (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • H4Z4RD (Govaerts, 2022/BE) ✦✦½ [-]
    • Gangs of London (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • We Own This City (S1) ✦✦✦½ [+]
    • Thor: Love and Thunder (Waititi, 2022) ✦✦ [+]


  24. #24
    Piss off, ghost! number8's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Henry Gale (view post)
    Dark of the Moon's opening has a Spielbergian feel to it as well, since I think I remember hearing at one point that he came up with the idea for it. But hoo boy, after the last one and what I gather about this new one, I can't imagine Steven wanting to associate himself with these anymore outside of his now-vague EP credit. (Assuming the other one you saw was Revenge of the Fallen.)
    IIRC, Spielberg was very heavily involved with the first movie. Aside from coming up with the premise, Kurtzman and Orci said he personally approved and gave notes on every draft of the script. But then he stepped away in the second and third movie and assumed more traditional EP duties.

    As far as I know, he wasn't involved at all in 4 and 5, since Dreamworks split up with Paramount in the middle of making 3 and no longer co-producing these movies.
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
    Movie Theater Diary

  25. #25
    I haven't seen a single one of these, and considering what I've read about them I probably never will (if I have 2.5 hours, I'll watch a Kurosawa film I've never gotten around to seeing). But I do find the image of a giant robot with a sword pretty seductive. So I almost saw the first one that had a robot with a sword on the poster.

    You're welcome for my take.

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