The Mummy (Alex Kurtzman)

[DavidSeven]

Only watched this because I got into an early free preview.

It's awful. Just flagrantly driven by corporate impulses and completely derivative of other "universe"-building movies. I don't think I've ever seen anything that so thoroughly felt like it was created by a bunch of old white men in a high-rise boardroom. The whole movie is simply two parts mind-numbing backstory, one part shamelessly cribbed universe setup. I'm generally a fan of Tom Cruise, the movie star, and he is almost unrecognizable here in that familiar role. The lack of chemistry he shares with the rest of his costars is almost palpable, and I'm inclined to believe that lazy direction and editing is the primary culprit for this. Bottom line, we know people do things for paychecks. That lack of passion and interest doesn't always manifest itself in the movie, but boy, it sure does here.

[Dukefrukem]

Only watched this because I got into an early free preview.

It's awful. Just flagrantly driven by corporate impulses and completely derivative of other "universe"-building movies. I don't think I've ever seen anything that so thoroughly felt like it was created by a bunch of old white men in a high-rise boardroom. The whole movie is simply two parts mind-numbing backstory, one part shamelessly cribbed universe setup. I'm generally a fan of Tom Cruise, the movie star, and he is almost unrecognizable here in that familiar role. The lack of chemistry he shares with the rest of his costars is almost palpable, and I'm inclined to believe that lazy direction and editing is the primary culprit for this. Bottom line, we know people do things for paychecks. That lack of passion and interest doesn't always manifest itself in the movie, but boy, it sure does here.

It is shameless. And it does represent everything terrible with Hollywood right now- such as structuring the plot around regions where it will likely succeed, but it's watchable. And hell I enjoyed it. I'd gladly take this over another Fast and Furious movie.

[Henry Gale]

Only watched this because I got into an early free preview.

Lolsame.

I know there were moments in it I found passingly involving at the time, but boy oh boy, only a week since I saw it (with no films or much TV in between, I should emphasize) and most of that has already faded from my memory.

For many of its similarities of being another potential franchise non-starter, it has only confirmed that I will feel compelled to defend King Arthur in the future. It may be its own type of mess too, but that type is a wild one full of gripping stylistic choices and an actual identity.

[Ivan Drago]

Being a fan of the Universal monsters growing up, I was intrigued by the concept of a shared universe centered around them and wanted to see The Mummy solely out of curiosity over how they would pull it off. Unfortunately the result is just a lame derivative of what other tentpoles have done before, complete with a cocky protagonist that exchanges fast-paced banter before being led to a secret government organization and does this sound like Iron Man yet? Not to mention that it tries to be both an action-comedy and a horror movie but the two genres and tones never merge together cohesively, and no matter how good Tom Cruise’s performance is, it’s difficult to root for his character because his motivations are all over the place and inconsistent. Plus Russell Crowe’s character was the one thing I was most excited to see portrayed on-screen, given that it’s an iconic character which I won’t spoil here, but long story short, the way he’s pulled off is lazy and cheap. It’s frustrating because the elements are there for something entertaining: the action sequences are fun, the special effects look good, the horror elements are effective, and a ton of iconic characters are in the sandbox of this shared universe. Sadly, The Mummy sets Universal’s next nine summers off on the wrong foot. I can only hope that the Dark Universe lasts so we can see modern-day adaptations of Frankenstein, The Phantom of the Opera and the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and pray that Universal fixes their mistakes as they go along as Marvel did to their benefit, so that they’re not as underwhelming as The Mummy was.