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Thread: Thomas Kinkade's Home for Christmas

  1. 02-21-2008, 08:11 PM #1
    Sycophant
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    Thomas Kinkade's Home for Christmas

    This movie is sitting in cans somewhere on Lionsgate property. Someone is dreaming up a way to sell this to a public that will be all too eager to eat this up. Someone is snickering about how this isn't going to premier on CBS but rather will earn millions in a theater, maybe even a theater near you.

    This shit's for real.

    I quote one of my favorite things SomethingAwful ever published, when Zack Parsons was making campaign promises:
    Quote Quoting Zack Parsons
    Famed master painter Thomas Kinkade will be paid to travel around the world painting pictures of every beautiful sight and animal he can find. When he's done - and I'm only budgeting for about 50 paintings - we'll hang all of the pictures in a museum and then bulldoze the planet to make room for a Wal-Mart parking lot. When that's done we'll bulldoze the museum because I fucking hate Thomas Kinkade.
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  2. 02-21-2008, 09:00 PM #2
    Wryan
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    Jared Padalecki, Peter O'Toole, and Thomas Kinkade. Haha. Match made in something.
    "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"

    --Homer
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  3. 02-21-2008, 10:10 PM #3
    lovejuice
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    who's kinkade? and why does he inspire so much hate?
    "Over analysis is like the oil of the Match-Cut machine." KK2.0
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  4. 02-21-2008, 10:13 PM #4
    Sycophant
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    Quote Quoting lovejuice (view post)
    who's kinkade? and why does he inspire so much hate?
    He is the anointed "Painter of Light." His simple, vapid paintings of landscapes and houses (often in snow, often at sunset) go down easy, are sold at mall kiosks, and decorate every white American grandmother's calendar. He's the only contemporary artist too many people know and I hate him in a way that's really pointless, stupid, and not worth my time.
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  5. 02-21-2008, 10:18 PM #5
    D_Davis
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    He's like the Kenny G of painting.

    Totally milquetoast.



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  6. 02-21-2008, 10:28 PM #6
    lovejuice
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    ahhh....i always wonder if someone actually takes time to paint those pictures, or they are made via some computer program.
    "Over analysis is like the oil of the Match-Cut machine." KK2.0
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  7. 02-21-2008, 10:31 PM #7
    Sycophant
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    Quote Quoting lovejuice (view post)
    ahhh....i always wonder if someone actually takes time to paint those pictures, or they are made via some computer program.
    Nope. Hacks exist.
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  8. 02-21-2008, 10:35 PM #8
    D_Davis
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    Quote Quoting lovejuice (view post)
    ahhh....i always wonder if someone actually takes time to paint those pictures, or they are made via some computer program.
    You can't mimic that quality.



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  9. 02-21-2008, 11:30 PM #9
    Wryan
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    Quote Quoting Daniel Davis (view post)
    You can't mimic that quality.
    But you can shop it out to a workshop of drones.
    "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"

    --Homer
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  10. 02-22-2008, 02:09 AM #10
    MadMan
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    Quote Quoting Daniel Davis (view post)
    He's like the Kenny G of painting.

    Totally milquetoast.
    *Shudders* That's all I needed to know.
    BLOG

    And everybody wants to be special here
    They call your name out loud and clear
    Here comes a regular
    Call out your name
    Here comes a regular
    Am I the only one here today?


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  11. 02-26-2008, 01:17 PM #11
    Scar
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    I like some of his work.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”
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