I Heart The Onion...

[Wryan]

First Womb Transplant Planned

A team of Manhattan doctors is planning the first-ever uterus transplant. What do you think?

Randy Chern,
Chef
"Wow, I really underestimated the David Cronenberg Center For Women's Health."

http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo...splant_planned

[Yxklyx]

Current issue has some great headlines:

War for the Whitehouse
Jamie Lynn Spears Loses Custody Of Fetus
Man Braves Freezing Weather To Cross Parking Lot
Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot
I've Got A Lot Of Love To Barter
Report: 94% Of South Dakotans Unprepared For Mt. Rushmore Faces Coming Alive And Eating Everyone

or maybe I'm just too drunk...

[Wryan]

Report: 94% Of South Dakotans Unprepared For Mt. Rushmore Faces Coming Alive And Eating Everyone

A new classic.

[lovejuice]

http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...t_harry_potter

[D_Davis]

http://www.theonion.com/content/vide...t_harry_potter

:up:

[Yxklyx]

Today's is pretty awesome:

Stephon Marbury Embroils Celtics' Big 3 In Elaborate Shakespearean Intrigue

Obama Outfitted With 238 Motion Capture Sensors For 3-D Record Of Presidency

San Francisco Historians Condemn 1906 Earthquake Deniers

[lovejuice]

Obama Outfitted With 238 Motion Capture Sensors For 3-D Record Of Presidency

funny or not, i always find their photoshop job seamless.

[Sycophant]

Kelly's editorial cartoons are among my favorite parts of The Onion.

Most recent.


This one's awesome.

[Mara]

Ha!

Hillary Clinton Launches Intimidating New Fragrance Line

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Unveiling a bold scent described by its manufacturer as "steely, bracing, and curt, with notes of patent leather, sandalwood, and wool serge," Secretary of State Hillary Clinton launched her own line of soaps, eaux de toilette, and body splashes Thursday. The new fragrance, called "Authorité," was designed to evoke the olfactory equivalent of sensible shoes clicking purposefully down a marble-tiled hallway. "Our distinguished parfumeurs—and, more importantly, Madame Secretary—have created exactly the right tone, a scent that brooks no argument," spokesperson Etienne Falbaum said. "This is a controlled, competent, and, above all, patient essence that makes men sit up, take notice, and not speak until spoken to." Advertising inserts scented with Authorité will be featured in upcoming editions of Elle, The Economist, and The New York Review of Books.

[MadMan]

I don't read The Onion enough. Some of the finest, funniest satire out there on the Web.

[Mara]

Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel

Zaiff emphasized that even the most discerning movie fans will have little choice but to watch the new film.

"And for all you snobby fucks who say you wouldn't come within a mile of this fucking movie, we've got plans for you, too," Zaiff said. "You're not safe from this shit-show. Who's your favorite actor? Frank Langella? Malkovich? How about John-fucking-Malkovich? We'll dangle so much money in front of his face he'll sell out faster than a five-dollar whore."

"Just try us," Zaiff continued. "I swear to God, I will personally dig up Stanley Kubrick's rotting corpse and attach him to this project myself if I have to."

Read the whole thing. You won't be sorry.

[Wryan]

Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make 'Coyote Ugly' Sequel



Read the whole thing. You won't be sorry.

Stunning.

"We are dead serious, you assholes."..."Get ready to herd your fat asses in to watch it, you fat fucks."

ritch:

[Dead & Messed Up]

I was laughing at this one yesterday:

Sun Goes Out for a Few Seconds

[Dead & Messed Up]

Also, the Onion article that made me cry the first time I read it.

God Angrily Clarifies "Don't Kill" Rule

[lovejuice]

Also, the Onion article that made me cry the first time I read it.

God Angrily Clarifies "Don't Kill" Rule

the last line is powerful. and it's actually even more relevant in retrospective.

[Sycophant]

the last line is powerful. and it's actually even more relevant in retrospective.

There was a time a couple years back that I stopped rading The Onion because it was a little too spot-on about the depressing state of the world, and basically every article was making me cry.

[D_Davis]

Also, the Onion article that made me cry the first time I read it.

God Angrily Clarifies "Don't Kill" Rule

That's awesome.

Reminds me of the time one of my favorite modern-day theologians said "I'm pretty sure than when Jesus said to 'love your enemies,' he meant 'don't kill them.'"

[number8]

Libertarian Reluctantly Calls Fire Department

CHEYENNE, WY—After attempting to contain a living-room blaze started by a cigarette, card-carrying Libertarian Trent Jacobs reluctantly called the Cheyenne Fire Department Monday. "Although the community would do better to rely on an efficient, free-market fire-fighting service, the fact is that expensive, unnecessary public fire departments do exist," Jacobs said. "Also, my house was burning down." Jacobs did not offer to pay firefighters for their service.

:lol:

[KK2.0]

i love The Onion, and love it even more when some noob mistakes their articles for reality.

[number8]

i love The Onion, and love it even more when some noob mistakes their articles for reality.

I love it even more when said noob is a member of the mainstream media.

[trotchky]

Some recent favorites:

Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams?

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer

[KK2.0]

I love it even more when said noob is a member of the mainstream media.

:lol:

someone should keep record of these man, it's just too good!

[Mara]

Um... dude... The Onion just went to 11.

Along with a perfectly funny article; New Netpix Service Sends Unlimited Photographs For Monthly Fee, they have actually set up a Netpix website.

Must. See.

EDIT: I signed up, just to see what would happen.

[Wryan]

Wow. Those are hardcore lengths. Hilarious though. "Great" pictures of national landmarks.

[Mara]

Wow. Those are hardcore lengths. Hilarious though. "Great" pictures of national landmarks.

Critically Acclaimed Blueberry Pies.