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Thread: I Heart The Onion...

  1. 08-26-2013, 06:32 PM #201
    Dukefrukem
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    Circa 2008! lol

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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  2. 08-26-2013, 06:45 PM #202
    D_Davis
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    http://www.theonion.com/articles/chu...ing-dio,33615/



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  3. 08-29-2013, 06:48 PM #203
    number8
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    Onion classic. I love when the humor is less in the story and more in the satirizing of news itself.

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/are...rom-fire,1553/
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  4. 08-29-2013, 07:51 PM #204
    Yxklyx
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    Yeah, I remember that one - but down under more news we have:

    Syria Conflict Intensifies As Bears Enter War

    "At press time, thousands of lions, hawks, anacondas, fire ants, flesh-eating bacteria, shrieking black-caped horsemen, and leather-clad motorcycle gangs were seen amassing just a few miles away from the Syrian border."
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  5. 08-30-2013, 05:17 PM #205
    number8
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    :lol:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/9-t...he-time,33683/
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  6. 09-01-2013, 04:24 AM #206
    Yxklyx
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    Quote Quoting number8 (view post)
    :lol:

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/9-t...he-time,33683/


    So, Mr Ruffalo was trying to evoke Falk in Zodiac right? I really like him but he fell a bit short of that goal. Really liked him in Margaret though.
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  7. 09-19-2013, 09:31 PM #207
    chrisnu
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    Hell Now A Thriving Epicenter Of Gay Culture
    Contagion (Soderbergh, 2011) - 6.5
    The Descendants (Payne, 2011) - 7.5
    Midnight in Paris (Allen, 2011) - 5
    Margin Call (Chandor, 2011) - 6.5
    The Ides of March (Clooney, 2011) - 5
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  8. 09-23-2013, 01:26 PM #208
    Hugh_Grant
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    Mead Releases New Grad-School-Ruled Notebook
    Recently, when I was doing some heavy cleaning, I came across my grad school notes. I asked myself, "How could one person write so many notes in two years?!?!" So I found this funny.
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  9. 09-28-2013, 08:05 PM #209
    number8
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    Bullied Eighth-Grader Incorrectly Thought Classmates Would Leave Him Alone During Field Trip To 9/11 Memorial
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  10. 10-09-2013, 06:07 PM #210
    number8
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    They just never cease to impress.

    http://www.theonion.com/articles/hig...t-might,34159/
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  11. 11-06-2013, 05:58 AM #211
    chrisnu
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    Kidnapped Teen Freed, Though Freedom Is Its Own Kind Of Prison, Is It Not?
    Contagion (Soderbergh, 2011) - 6.5
    The Descendants (Payne, 2011) - 7.5
    Midnight in Paris (Allen, 2011) - 5
    Margin Call (Chandor, 2011) - 6.5
    The Ides of March (Clooney, 2011) - 5
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  12. 11-14-2013, 07:35 PM #212
    Dead & Messed Up
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    Breaking: Intruders Detected in Zone 17

    I don't know why this is so funny to me. Probably all the dystopic movies I've seen on MST3K lately.
    horror films 101
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  13. 01-14-2014, 10:24 PM #213
    number8
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    Boy, I’ve Really Put You In A Tough Spot, Haven’t I?
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  14. 02-18-2014, 08:06 PM #214
    number8
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    Last two paragraphs are the best:

    Honestly, I Always Saw Edward Scissorhands As The Villain
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  15. 02-19-2014, 05:34 AM #215
    Ezee E
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    Quote Quoting number8 (view post)
    Last two paragraphs are the best:

    Honestly, I Always Saw Edward Scissorhands As The Villain
    The line about Big Fish is great.

    Barbarian - ***
    Bones and All - ***
    Tar - **


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  16. 02-26-2014, 01:31 AM #216
    Watashi
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    Love this.
    Sure why not?

    STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (Rian Johnson) - 9
    STRONGER (David Gordon Green) - 6
    THE DISASTER ARTIST (James Franco) - 7
    THE FLORIDA PROJECT (Sean Baker) - 9
    LADY BIRD (Greta Gerwig) - 8


    "Hitchcock is really bad at suspense."
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  17. 03-17-2014, 01:50 PM #217
    Yxklyx
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    Malaysia Airlines Expands Investigation To Include General Scope Of Space, Time
    Letterboxd
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  18. 04-25-2014, 04:12 PM #218
    Dukefrukem
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    LOL

    New App Matches You With Others In Vicinity Who Wasted $2.99 On Same App
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  19. 06-12-2014, 02:58 PM #219
    number8
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    They just launched a new site parodying Buzzfeed and it is pretty cutting. And yet probably going to be greatly profitable too. Talk about genius.

    http://www.clickhole.com/
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  20. 07-30-2014, 07:16 PM #220
    Dukefrukem
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    Bwhahahahaha @ the last line

    Twitch / Youtube / Film Diary

    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  21. 08-01-2014, 03:24 PM #221
    number8
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    This is most likely prophetic.
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  22. 10-08-2014, 05:45 PM #222
    Spinal
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    5 Disney princesses reimagined as Caucasian
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***
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  23. 10-08-2014, 06:48 PM #223
    Kurosawa Fan
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    Quote Quoting Spinal (view post)
    5 Disney princesses reimagined as Caucasian
    :lol:

    The last two comments for Tiana and Mulan are hilarious.
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  24. 10-08-2014, 10:08 PM #224
    Spinal
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    Quote Quoting Kurosawa Fan (view post)
    :lol:

    The last two comments for Tiana and Mulan are hilarious.
    This is my favorite Clickhole thing ever because it so perfectly satirizes that modern feeling of being aggravated and annoyed by people who in theory should be on your side.
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***
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  25. 11-26-2014, 05:32 PM #225
    Kurosawa Fan
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    12 Amazing Black Friday Deals
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