"the game" and other pick up manuals

[lovejuice]

just curious, what do you guys/gals think about this type of books? i tend to avoid them since (1) i don't believe they really work and (2) most of the time i just get too envious and frustrated.

[Qrazy]

I don't read them because I have no need to, but I know some people who do and I think they probably work (depending on the girl... that is to say statistically I'm guessing they work... but for girls worth keeping, they probably don't work).

Here's one thing I was told the game teaches you.

1) Learn a party/magic trick.

This will attract attention to you in a bar or small group setting. Girls are impressed by this kind of crap, I've either seen it done or heard stories from girls about how impressed they were. It may not always yield success, but it definitely generates interest.

[Ezee E]

The Game is actually kind of interesting. I didn't finish it all, but the pick-up artists, while hooking up with plenty of women, still end up lonely because they can't look at women as relationship possibilities, therefore, are just as big of a loser as the guys that they coach.

I found that more interesting than the actual pick up advice.

[[ETM]]

for girls worth keeping, they probably don't work

This.

[megladon8]

I have a hard time buying into the "treating women like crap makes them adore you" philosophy.

[Ivan Drago]

I have a hard time buying into the "treating women like crap makes them adore you" philosophy.

I have a hard time buying into "the game" in general. Seriously whatever happened to just being yourself and/or simply telling someone how you feel? No, instead dating is a game - you have to pay attention to body language signals and wonder what it means if she doesn't return your voicemail.

[BuffaloWilder]

It's called courting.

[Ezee E]

I have a hard time buying into the "treating women like crap makes them adore you" philosophy.

Not what the book is about at all actually. It's really more about becoming more social than anything. There's a few scumbags that he talks about and their work as a pick-up artist, but his general rule seems to be going more for an instant reaction. Hence, the magic tricks.

[Mara]

I have deep, abiding problems with how-to-snag-a-man manuals. I actually wrote a huge subplot into my one successful play about how much I hate them. For one thing, people get caught up on how fake and manipulative they are-- which is true, I don't see the point in having a relationship based on deceit-- but in a larger sense, I hate how they promote the idea that there's nothing worse than being alone. No amount of dishonesty, manipulation, self-degradation, and debasement is worse than not having a man.

[lovejuice]

No amount of dishonesty, manipulation, self-degradation, and debasement is worse than not having a man.

that's not the message i get from reading pride and prejudice. wonderful book, by the way.

[lovejuice]

The Game is actually kind of interesting. I didn't finish it all, but the pick-up artists, while hooking up with plenty of women, still end up lonely because they can't look at women as relationship possibilities, therefore, are just as big of a loser as the guys that they coach.

I found that more interesting than the actual pick up advice.

you hit something there. strauss, unlike most pick up artists, seems more a humble and friendly sort of guy. how much is that poinst stressed in the book? if he makes himself enough of a loser, i might actually *gasp* read it.

what i want is an advice to pick a girl up in a non-alcoholic setting. damn, bar. anyone know how to woo a librarian?

[Mara]

what i want is an advice to pick a girl up in a non-alcoholic setting. damn, bar. anyone know how to woo a librarian?

that's not the message i get from reading pride and prejudice. wonderful book, by the way.

[Qrazy]

you hit something there. strauss, unlike most pick up artists, seems more a humble and friendly sort of guy. how much is that poinst stressed in the book? if he makes himself enough of a loser, i might actually *gasp* read it.

what i want is an advice to pick a girl up in a non-alcoholic setting. damn, bar. anyone know how to woo a librarian?

Do you see her often? If so just make small talk. Make a joke about something when you're checking out a book. Contextualize it. Don't just go up and make a random joke. Don't be afraid to talk about boring subjects as long as you can put an interesting spin on them. For instance the weather... 'ah man it's freezing out these days, that's a nice looking scarf you got there, how much is it selling for?'

Right after you get a girl laughing is the perfect time to ask her out for coffee, a drink, etc. Don't ask her to a movie or something where you can't chat on your first date unless a movie comes up in conversation that you both want to go to... then ask her to it but make time either before or after to meet up and talk first. Find common ground. She's a librarian so she likes books. Try to discover which authors she likes... but try to avoid being pompous, saying something such as, 'ohh you've read that, I've read all his books'. Not saying you'd go that route, but asking a girl out can be nerve wracking and inflating ones own intellectual ego can be an easy but ineffective way of combating that nervousness.

Context and confidence is really everything. With a librarian though since you'll probably see her frequently you can set up a foundation. You don't have to just ask her out right away because you may never see her again. Still, don't wait too long either after expressing interest or you'll (unless she takes a shine to you) be relegated to a friendship category. The reason the whole treating girls poorly thing works (I'm not advocating that), is not particularly because they like being treated poorly (some girls do), it's because they're attracted to confidence and that attitude is one way of communicating confidence (albeit in a poor form).

There's no need to play games, hard to get, etc. It's good to wait at least a day on the first phone call not to seem indifferent but just so that she doesn't think you're desperate, needy or too lonely. It certainly depends on the girl but by and large, these things are turn offs. Most girls like to be pursued, but they don't like to be buried in contact initially. Show that you want them, but not that you need them. That's about it.

[Qrazy]

Aha... no offense meant, as I know that this is just a hypothetical example, but that sounds like a really awkward thing for a guy to say to a random girl.

Hah well you may be right, it's not the best example. But tone is important and one also wouldn't lead in with that or blurt it all out at once, and you could certainly maneuver the phrasing, but the point is just to talk about something easily digestible (the weather) and build a small joke off of it. Any given situation will certainly provide better material.

[lovejuice]

Do you see her often?

actually no such person exists, but thank for all this well thought-out comment.

[Ezee E]

you hit something there. strauss, unlike most pick up artists, seems more a humble and friendly sort of guy. how much is that poinst stressed in the book? if he makes himself enough of a loser, i might actually *gasp* read it.

what i want is an advice to pick a girl up in a non-alcoholic setting. damn, bar. anyone know how to woo a librarian?

I didn't finish it, so I don't know how stressed it ends up being, but it basically points out that you don't really HAVE to have the setting be at a bar though. It basically points out out the basic ides of socializing in that you have to quickly capture someone's interest, instead of waiting and staring and planning. Something for them to remember you by (like the magic trick) and so on.

There's a few chapters where he isn't humble at all, and brags about his victories, but there's bits that are interesting.

[Qrazy]

actually no such person exists, but thank for all this well thought-out comment.

Shiiiat. Well same advice goes for any women in retail, waitresses and barristas. It's usually fairly easy to get numbers there because customer service is often stressful, so they're all the more receptive when someone is nice.

[Adam]

I tried asking out a waitress once and she laughed because she thought I was joking