The News Thread

**Benny Profane** · 09-10-2009, 02:55 PM

ACORN employee gives advice to undercover pimp and prostitute: how to evade taxes, obtain housing, set up brothel, what to do with 13 underage girls from El Salvador

Nice.

**Ezee E** · 09-10-2009, 04:14 PM

Quoting Benny Profane (view post)

ACORN employee gives advice to undercover pimp and prostitute: how to evade taxes, obtain housing, set up brothel, what to do with 13 underage girls from El Salvador

Nice.

Chicago must be a lot creepier than I thought.

**Sycophant** · 09-10-2009, 07:18 PM

Have you seen this superclassy O.C. Register sports colum about how this girl who was imprisoned and raped for the last 18 years missed out an all this interesting sports trivia, with a token mention of how she might be weirded out that there's one them Negroes in the White House?

**bac0n** · 09-11-2009, 01:34 AM

Quoting Sycophant (view post)

Have you seen this superclassy O.C. Register sports colum about how this girl who was imprisoned and raped for the last 18 years missed out an all this interesting sports trivia, with a token mention of how she might be weirded out that there's one them Negroes in the White House?

His apology is even worse. Made me wanna punch him in the mouth.

**Spun Lepton** · 09-12-2009, 04:06 AM

Check it:

http://content.usatoday.net/dist/cus...31579029.story

Cut from the site:

NEWPORT, Del. (AP) — Delaware State Police said a woman punched a gas station clerk in the face and held scissors to his throat in a dispute over how much money she had given him. The clerk at the Country Farms on West Newport Pike told police that a 53-year-old woman asked for $20 of gas, but only gave him a $1 bill. The clerk said the woman, certain that she had given him a $20 bill, screamed at him when he refused to give her $20.

Then police said the woman stormed behind the counter, punched the clerk in the face and held scissors to his throat. At that point, he gave the woman two $10 bills.

As the woman drove away, police said she found the $20 bill in her purse and returned to the gas station. Police said she was arrested and charged with offensive touching and aggravated menacing.

She'd damn well better thank her lucky stars they didn't also stick her with disruptive canoodling and sanctimonious kerfuffling.

**MadMan** · 09-12-2009, 05:36 AM

That was a clear cut case of off-road rage.

**bac0n** · 09-14-2009, 05:17 PM

Quoting MadMan (view post)

That was a clear cut case of off-road rage.

Oh hell no. Anyone can see it was clearly sanctimonious kerfuffling. She dodged a bullet there.

**megladon8** · 09-14-2009, 06:50 PM

Woman finds long-lost son on the internet, seduces and rapes him.

**chrisnu** · 09-14-2009, 08:33 PM

Quoting megladon8 (view post)

Woman finds long-lost son on the internet, seduces and rapes him.

Wait. If he's a teenager now, and she gave him up for adoption ten years ago, that means that he knew her when he was a small child. Oh, man. My heart aches for that kid.

**Mara** · 09-14-2009, 08:45 PM

Quoting chrisnu (view post)

Wait. If he's a teenager now, and she gave him up for adoption ten years ago, that means that he knew her when he was a small child. Oh, man. My heart aches for that kid.

I was trying to do the math on this. If she'd given him up at three or four, he may not remember her. Doesn't really matter either way, the kid's going to be jacked up for life.

**Wryan** · 09-14-2009, 09:12 PM

Quoting Sycophant (view post)

Have you seen this superclassy O.C. Register sports colum about how this girl who was imprisoned and raped for the last 18 years missed out an all this interesting sports trivia, with a token mention of how she might be weirded out that there's one them Negroes in the White House?

The Onion really missed the boat on this one.

**Dead & Messed Up** · 09-14-2009, 10:13 PM

Quoting megladon8 (view post)

Woman finds long-lost son on the internet, seduces and rapes him.

And that boy grew up to be Rob Zombie.

And now you know...the rest of the story.

**Ezee E** · 09-14-2009, 10:52 PM

Seduced... then raped. Does not totally compute as it seemed to be consensual (while still illegal for ma) at the time until she dropped the bomb.

"I'm your mother."

**bac0n** · 09-15-2009, 12:59 AM

Quoting Ezee E (view post)

Seduced... then raped. Does not totally compute as it seemed to be consensual (while still illegal for ma) at the time until she dropped the bomb.

"I'm your mother."

When one person is 18 and another is under, that's statutory rape, according to the law, no matter whether the sex was consensual or it was not.

**Ezee E** · 09-15-2009, 05:27 AM

Quoting bac0n (view post)

When one person is 18 and another is under, that's statutory rape, according to the law, no matter whether the sex was consensual or it was not.

Yeah, I said it was illegal, but it wasn't something that would destroy the mind of the boy.

Until she dropped the bomb.

**megladon8** · 09-16-2009, 08:35 PM

Scientists find what they're calling a "super-Earth", the first rocky, solid-surfaced planet they're found outside our solar system.

Problem is, it's very close to its sun, putting its surface temperature at 3,600 F (or about 2,000 C).

While I doubt there is life there, I do find it a little presumptuous of the article to say that it's "...too hot to sustain life". As I've said before in other discussions similar to this, it's very arrogant of us to assume that any other life in the universe would require the same conditions as us to thrive.

But no matter, it's a very cool discovery.

**Dead & Messed Up** · 09-16-2009, 09:08 PM

Quoting megladon8 (view post)

Scientists find what they're calling a "super-Earth", the first rocky, solid-surfaced planet they're found outside our solar system.

Problem is, it's very close to its sun, putting its surface temperature at 3,600 F (or about 2,000 C).

While I doubt there is life there, I do find it a little presumptuous of the article to say that it's "...too hot to sustain life". As I've said before in other discussions similar to this, it's very arrogant of us to assume that any other life in the universe would require the same conditions as us to thrive.

But no matter, it's a very cool discovery.

I read about this today - its revolutions are 20 hours. By comparison the shortest for our system is Mercury's 88 days. Thing's a frakking speed demon.

**number8** · 09-17-2009, 09:48 PM

A bunch of kids in Panama saw a shaved sloth come out of a cave, thought it was an alien and beat it to death with sticks:

**Wryan** · 09-17-2009, 09:55 PM

Quoting number8 (view post)

A bunch of kids in Panama saw a shaved sloth come out of a cave, thought it was an alien and beat it to death with sticks:

I noted that you withheld your subjective response.

I myself find that pretty appalling in a Rob Zombie kind of way.

But just a little bit funny.

**number8** · 09-17-2009, 11:07 PM

It's terrible, but I imagined Eric Cartman doing it, so I laughed.

**Watashi** · 09-17-2009, 11:08 PM

I heard about that on Coast to Coast. They still think it's an alien.

**[ETM]** · 09-18-2009, 12:27 AM

"Shaved"? As in someone shaved the poor thing? Nope, looks too clean. Must be a mutation, it's like it was born without hair.

**Sycophant** · 09-24-2009, 09:06 PM

US census worker found hanged with "FED" written on his chest. Fucking sick.

**Spun Lepton** · 09-24-2009, 09:17 PM

Net No-trality?

Genachowski talks a good game on Internet freedom and innovation, but then positions the FCC as a sort of Internet enforcer. "In the words of Tim Berners-Lee," he said, "the Internet is a 'blank canvas'—allowing anyone to contribute and to innovate without permission."

**number8** · 09-24-2009, 09:29 PM

Quoting Sycophant (view post)

US census worker found hanged with "FED" written on his chest. Fucking sick.

I'm going to propagate the rumor that Glenn Beck did it, but in a way Fox News would find acceptable:

"Did GLENN BECK MURDER CENSUS WORKER? People are asking, though he most likely didn't."

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