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Thread: Machete/Machete Kills (Robert Rodriguez)

  1. 08-06-2009, 12:09 PM #1
    Dukefrukem
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    Machete/Machete Kills (Robert Rodriguez)

    Worst cast ever?

    Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin & Steven Seagal

    Grindhouse trailer in cast you forgot
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  2. 08-06-2009, 12:15 PM #2
    [ETM]
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    If by "worst" you mean "awesome"... yes.
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  3. 08-06-2009, 12:44 PM #3
    Mara
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    Cheech Marin is fun.

    Other than that, bleh.
    ...and the milk's in me.
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  4. 08-06-2009, 12:51 PM #4
    [ETM]
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    Oh come on. It has "so cheesy it's awesome" written all over it.
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  5. 08-06-2009, 03:43 PM #5
    Acapelli
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    interesting cast, except for jessica alba. i don't i've ever seen anything i liked her in
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  6. 08-06-2009, 03:51 PM #6
    [ETM]
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    Quote Quoting Acapelli (view post)
    interesting cast, except for jessica alba. i don't i've ever seen anything i liked her in
    She can get naked...?
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  7. 08-06-2009, 04:02 PM #7
    Dukefrukem
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    Quote Quoting [ETM] (view post)
    She can get naked...?
    She never would.
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  8. 08-06-2009, 04:43 PM #8
    [ETM]
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    She never would.
    I was clinging onto hope. It's far more likely than her turning in a decent performance, that's for sure.
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  9. 08-06-2009, 04:47 PM #9
    Dukefrukem
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    Quote Quoting [ETM] (view post)
    I was clinging onto hope. It's far more likely than her turning in a decent performance, that's for sure.
    She just had a baby. So now which do you think is more likely?
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  10. 08-06-2009, 04:53 PM #10
    Sycophant
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    If this movie has to happen, that might as well be the cast.
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  11. 08-06-2009, 05:03 PM #11
    Rowland
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    I thought most of the cast was still in "rumored" stages.
    Letterboxd rating scale:
    The Long Riders (Hill) ***
    Furious 7 (Wan) **½
    Hard Times (Hill) ****½
    Another 48 Hrs. (Hill) ***
    /48 Hrs./ (Hill) ***½
    The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (Besson) ***
    /Unknown/ (Collet-Serra) ***½
    Animal (Simmons) **
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  12. 08-06-2009, 05:08 PM #12
    Ivan Drago
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    Quote Quoting [ETM] (view post)
    Oh come on. It has "so cheesy it's awesome" written all over it.
    And that's exactly what they're going for.

    I wonder if they'll keep the same plot that the trailer suggests.
    Last Five Films I've Seen (Out of 5)

    The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse (Mackesy, 2022) 4.5
    Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (Crawford, 2022) 4
    Confess, Fletch (Mottola, 2022) 3.5
    M3GAN (Johnstone, 2023) 3.5
    Turning Red (Shi, 2022) 4.5
    Tokyo Story (Ozu, 1953) 5

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  13. 08-06-2009, 05:50 PM #13
    MacGuffin
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    It's probably not going to be a good movie, of course. Tarantino and co. just don't seem to understand when enough is enough.
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  14. 08-06-2009, 06:10 PM #14
    Bosco B Thug
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    Robert De Niro and Michelle Rodriguez, too, according to Bloody-Disgusting.

    Quote Quoting Sycophant (view post)
    If this movie has to happen, that might as well be the cast.
    Nice way of putting it.
    The Act of Killing (Oppenheimer 13) - A
    Stranger by the Lake (Giraudie 12) - B
    American Hustle (Russell 13) - C+
    The Wolf of Wall Street (Scorsese 13) - C+
    Passion (De Palma 12) - B
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  15. 08-06-2009, 06:15 PM #15
    Ezee E
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    I doubt this movie will ever happen.

    Barbarian - ***
    Bones and All - ***
    Tar - **


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  16. 08-06-2009, 06:30 PM #16
    Dukefrukem
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    Is Danny Trejo even confirmed as Machete? Isn't that the whole point?
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  17. 08-06-2009, 07:09 PM #17
    [ETM]
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    She just had a baby. So now which do you think is more likely?
    Nothing wrong with MILFs.
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  18. 08-06-2009, 07:40 PM #18
    Dukefrukem
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    Quote Quoting [ETM] (view post)
    Nothing wrong with MILFs.
    I know that, but do you think her body is up to par yet?
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  19. 08-06-2009, 07:41 PM #19
    [ETM]
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    I know that, but do you think her body is up to par yet?
    If I know anything, her bosom is.
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  20. 08-07-2009, 04:47 AM #20
    number8
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    Is Danny Trejo even confirmed as Machete? Isn't that the whole point?
    They're replacing him with a different Rodriguez actor:

    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  21. 08-07-2009, 12:54 PM #21
    Dukefrukem
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    Quote Quoting number8 (view post)
    They're replacing him with a different Rodriguez actor:

    Oh good, he IS confirmed.

    Robert Rodriguez has cast Jessica Alba (Sin City), Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez (Fast & Furious), Lindsay Lohan ("Mean Girls), Cheech Marin ("Once Upon a Time in Mexico), Jeff Fahey (Lost), Don Johnson and Steven Seagal (Under Siege) alongside Danny Trejo in the highly anticipated spin-off action flick, Machete.
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    Quote Quoting D_Davis (view post)
    Uwe Boll movies > all Marvel U movies
    Quote Quoting TGM (view post)
    I work in grocery. I have not gotten sick. My fellow employees have not gotten sick. If the virus were even remotely as contagious as its being presented as, why haven’t entire store staffs who come into contact with hundreds of people per day, thousands per week, all falling ill in mass nationwide?
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  22. 08-07-2009, 01:16 PM #22
    kuehnepips
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    Oh good, he IS confirmed.
    No Jason Statham?

    Meh.
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  23. 08-07-2009, 03:03 PM #23
    Ivan Drago
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    Quote Quoting kuehnepips (view post)
    No Jason Statham?

    Meh.
    As awesome as this'll be in a cheesy way, it would improve with Statham's presence.
    Last Five Films I've Seen (Out of 5)

    The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse (Mackesy, 2022) 4.5
    Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (Crawford, 2022) 4
    Confess, Fletch (Mottola, 2022) 3.5
    M3GAN (Johnstone, 2023) 3.5
    Turning Red (Shi, 2022) 4.5
    Tokyo Story (Ozu, 1953) 5

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  24. 05-05-2010, 05:42 PM #24
    DavidSeven
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    Re-cut for relevance or serendipitously timely? You decide.

    Machete Trailer
    letterboxd.

    A Star is Born (2018) **1/2
    Unforgiven (1992) ***1/2
    The Sisters Brothers (2018) **
    Crazy Rich Asians (2018) ***
    The Informant! (2009) ***1/2
    BlacKkKlansman (2018) ***1/2
    Sorry to Bother You (2018) **1/2
    Eighth Grade (2018) ***
    Mission Impossible: Fallout (2018) ***
    Ant-Man and The Wasp (2018) **1/2
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  25. 05-05-2010, 05:50 PM #25
    chrisnu
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    That's fantastic.
    Contagion (Soderbergh, 2011) - 6.5
    The Descendants (Payne, 2011) - 7.5
    Midnight in Paris (Allen, 2011) - 5
    Margin Call (Chandor, 2011) - 6.5
    The Ides of March (Clooney, 2011) - 5
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