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Thread: Gaming Unplugged - Old School Style - Luddite Gaming - Nerdtopia

  1. #476
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    Here's how the Star Wars Original Trilogy would have gone, would that it have played out like our game of Star Wars Rebellion over the last few evenings.

    Episode IV: A New Hope
    Mon Mothma, desperate for something, anything, that can help the Rebellion, negotiates a temporary alliance with the Mon Calimari. They say, sure, how about a Mon Calimari cruiser and an X-Wing fighter. Fist bump. Meanwhile, Leia and General Whatsisnuts attempt to sabotage the Empire's Star Destroyer dealership in Corelia, but Vader shows up, coffee in hand (black, of course), says LOLno, and scares them off. Back on Mon Calimari, Mon Mothma says, hey, you made us that one cruiser, how about a few more? The Mon Calimari are about to say yes, when Vader and Palpatine show up, yell IT'S A TRAP! and all the Mon Calimari run screaming into the sea.

    With Vader half way across the galaxy, Leia seizes the opportunity to blow up the Corelian Star Destroyer dealership, but General Tagg reveals to her that she didn't indeed blow up a Star Destroyer dealership, but rather, a Starbucks disguised as a Star Destroyer dealership. All that General Tagg did was replaced the bucks in Starbucks with destroyer. The real Star Destroyer Dealership, across the street from the Starbucks, pounds out another Star Destroyer, just to be a dick.

    Elsewhere, deep in space, the rebel fleet, gearing to strike deep into the heart of The Empire, and hoping to secure a staging point close to Coruscant, sends some troops to the wookie homeworld of Kashyyk, but of course Grand Moff Tarkin ain't having none of that shit, so he sends a star destroyer, some Storm Troopers, a few AT-STs, and just to be safe, the motherfucking Death Star. The rebels take one look at all that, say, shit, you can have Kashyyk, man, and skedaddle. Those wookies have fleas anyway. Kashyyk is now under Imperial subjugation.

    But not so fast! Chewbacca to the rescue! He shows up, gives a rousing speech that no-one can understand, and causes a total Wookie uprising! It's Wookiemania! Stormtrooper body parts and scrapped AT-STs are everywhere! Wookies fill their bellies with roasted stormtrooper entrails, and all is well with the world.

    Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
    The Motherfucking Deathstar blows up Kashyyk.



    Enraged, Chewbacca heads straight to Corelia and starts blasting everything he can find with the word Star on it. Five destroyed Starbucks, two custard shops, and an internet startup later, he finally blows up the star destroyer dealership, so the empire will have to do without its seventh star destroyer, for now. The rebels, desperate for friends, try to get the support of The Hutts, because, hey, maybe we can throw The Empire into the Sarlacc Pit in the Dune Sea. The rebels, thinking this somehow is a fail safe idea, move their entire fleet in the direction of Tatooine, in the hopes of getting the Empire to chase them. The conversation goes something like this.

    Rebels: Hey, chase us over to Tatooine! We're totally not going to do anything bastardly to you.

    Empire: How about we go to Endor instead.

    Rebels: Why ya wanna go to Endor?

    Empire: Because that's where your base is.

    Rebels: SHIT!

    So, with the Rebel fleet half a galaxy away, the Empire brings the entirety of their armada to Endor, and The Motherfucking Deathstar too, just for shits. Now, I would like to say that the Rebels make friends with those plucky Ewoks, who MacGyver up some primitive catapults and log rolly-pollys, but no, that doesn't happen. In the end, not a single rebel is left alive on Endor. And just to be dicks, they blow up the entire planet to boot. All the Ewoks are dead. The only thing fuzzy left in the entire galaxy is Chewbacca. Dammit, so much for merchandising.



    Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.
    There is no Episode VI. It is assumed that the Galactic Empire lives on forever.
    Last edited by bac0n; 05-11-2018 at 02:20 AM.
    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  2. #477
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Empire don’t play.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  3. #478
    The Pan Spinal's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting bac0n (view post)
    All the Ewoks are dead.
    []
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

  4. #479
    The Pan Spinal's Avatar
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    I'm playing Betrayal at House on the Hill for the first time tonight. Been wanting to play for quite some time now. I'm kind of hoping that I turn out to be the betrayer.

    I've also been enjoying the experience of legacy games. I played through Risk Legacy with my brother and cousin and now we're onto Seafall. My cousin is kicking our asses, but we heckle him because we're out exploring tombs and discovering remote islands. Meanwhile, he's racking up points by quietly building structures and ship improvements. Not very pirate.
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

  5. #480
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Spinal (view post)
    I'm playing Betrayal at House on the Hill for the first time tonight. Been wanting to play for quite some time now. I'm kind of hoping that I turn out to be the betrayer.

    I've also been enjoying the experience of legacy games. I played through Risk Legacy with my brother and cousin and now we're onto Seafall. My cousin is kicking our asses, but we heckle him because we're out exploring tombs and discovering remote islands. Meanwhile, he's racking up points by quietly building structures and ship improvements. Not very pirate.
    Bac0n gets a little too into his character Beef McGronski (I forget the actual character name). One of the scenarios was awakening Dracula, and he just charged in swinging. Yeah...... That didn't work out too well....
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  6. #481
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Mental note: Don't play one of the EXIT games when you've got a thousand miles under your belt in a couple days and several store installs done to boot. We finished it with a 4/10 star rating. I'll settle for that.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  7. #482
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    Quote Quoting Scar (view post)
    Bac0n gets a little too into his character Beef McGronski (I forget the actual character name). One of the scenarios was awakening Dracula, and he just charged in swinging. Yeah...... That didn't work out too well....
    Ha! Awesome game. It was a really nice meeting point for casual gamers to play with more experienced gamers. I ended up being a freaking idiot and killing myself by failing a roll trying to use a crystal ball. I'd like to blame the beer, but I don't know how honest that would be.
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

  8. #483
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    Haha, yep, that sure sounds like Betrayal at House on the Haunted Hill to me!
    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  9. #484
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Just found out the ‘boys’ preordered me the 4th Edition of Fury of Dracula for Father’s Day.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  10. #485
    The Pan megladon8's Avatar
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    Nice that’s one of my very favorites!

  11. #486
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Scar (view post)
    Just found out the ‘boys’ preordered me the 4th Edition of Fury of Dracula for Father’s Day.


    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  12. #487
    The Pan Spinal's Avatar
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    Super excited about Fury of Dracula being in print again. It's probably at the top of my wish list for board games right now. We enjoy playing Letters from Whitechapel quite a bit, so I'm excited to try another, bigger "villain on the run" kind of a game.
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

  13. #488
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    Just backed a kickstarter called Getaway Driver, aka Steve McQueen The Game. Looks like fun!

    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  14. #489
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Gloomhaven came home with me today. Local game shops just got several copies in.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  15. #490
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    And here are a few pictures from our adventures playing Fireteam Zero:





    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  16. #491
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    So, Scar, MC expat Spun Lepton, myself, and a real live police officer played a game of Mansions of Madness last Saturday - and we actually finished it! Here's how it all went down.

    [
    ]
    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  17. #492
    The Pan Spinal's Avatar
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    My group's had this one in the queue for a while now. How much time would you say needs to be budgeted? (First time players, so we'll be a bit slow.)
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

  18. #493
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    I would give it 3 hours to play the first time. There is some component assembly which will take about half an hour, but you can do that ahead of time (which i would recommend).
    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  19. #494
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Dexter couldn’t hit shit with his knife, until he had a Jack Burton moment and flung that blade right between the eyes of some scary Hell Spawn.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  20. #495
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Last night's project was putting together the Brokentoken Gloomhaven organizer. Tonight's project was to get Gloomhaven in the organizer. After over two hours of that, I'm hitting the pause button until tomorrow / the weekend.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  21. #496
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    Gloomhaven officially organized. Beer time.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  22. #497
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting bac0n (view post)
    But wait! Rumors are spreading of arcane goings on in the nearby coastal hamlet of Innsmouth! A shadow has fallen over the town, rumors of strange fish-men stalking about. Fr Matteo, Tommy, Dexter, Becky, and Finn (if we can find him) may not be out of the woods yet![/SPOILER]
    GUYS - if you hear rumors of the spreading of arcane goings on in the nearby coastal hamlet of Innsmouth, do yourself a favor and stay away. Go out for pizza instead.

    For more on why, read on (SPOILER ALERT: Major plot points for Mansions of Madness episode Escape from Innsmouth will be revealed)

    [
    ]
    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  23. #498
    Director bac0n's Avatar
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    Not to distract from the negative vibes surrounding the whosisnuts confirmation, but in a few short hours, Scar and I and a few others are going to:

    1) Eat the crap out of Tombstone pizza.
    2) watch the crap of Tombstone movie.
    3) Play the crap out of Western Legends boardgame.

    expect some colorful posts.
    Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it. (Tony, Hibbing)

  24. #499
    The Pan Scar's Avatar
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    A most excellent game. Had to call it early due to commitments in the morning. Bac0n robbed banks for 99% of the time, while I spent 90% of the time playing poker, and then blowing it all on whores, er, the cabaret.

    Bac0n’s write up will be more eloquent.
    “What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”

  25. #500
    The Pan Spinal's Avatar
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    I played Dead of Winter for the first time this past weekend and loved it. I liked that I was able to play with 3 players who I would describe as "casual" gamers, yet it still felt exciting and challenging to me, without them being overwhelmed. We didn't end up having a betrayer. Probably for the best first time around. It'll be fun to play in a more cutthroat situation sometime. I like how it creates that feeling of complacency in you and then, boom, people die out of nowhere and the zombies start adding up. I'd love to see this game format applied to different themes.

    This Sunday, I'm playing Mansions of Madness for the first time. Super curious to see how it goes.
    Last edited by Spinal; 10-31-2018 at 08:49 PM.
    Coming to America (Landis, 1988) **
    The Beach Bum (Korine, 2019) *1/2
    Us (Peele, 2019) ***1/2
    Fugue (Smoczynska, 2018) ***1/2
    Prisoners (Villeneuve, 2013) ***1/2
    Shadow (Zhang, 2018) ***
    Oslo, August 31st (J. Trier, 2011) ****
    Climax (Noé, 2018) **1/2
    Fighting With My Family (Merchant, 2019) **
    Upstream Color (Carruth, 2013) ***

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