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Thread: Sangre, cuchillos, y tetas --- Horror Film Discussion

  1. #2501
    Director Spun Lepton's Avatar
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    Dead Snow is an exercise in frustration. Where films like Shaun of the Dead and Dead Alive created likeable and relatively believable characters, Dead Snow is content with flat characters, cut from a second-rate slasher. The story goes nowhere and by the end it feels like 90 minutes of padding. The tone of the movie was all over the board, one moment they want to be tragic and serious, and the very next they want to be WaCkY and goofy.

    Fanboy Syndrome was also in full effect, much like Cabin Fever. Entire scenes were constructed for no other reason than to pay homage to other, better zombie movies.

    One piss-poor actor had a stupid grin on his face for the entire time, too.

  2. #2502
    The Pan megladon8's Avatar
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    Glad you were uber disappointed with Dead Snow, Spun, because both Jen and I thought it was complete crap.

    What an utter bore, and when the payoff finally comes, it's lame, lame, lame.

  3. #2503
    Smug As Hell MadMan's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Spun Lepton (view post)
    UGH. Hate that stupid movie. I liked it OK when it was in the theater, and I was 15, but these days ... ugh, just terrible. It's like a Dollar-Store version of The Goonies, with Universal Monsters mixed in. Frankenstein's Monster was the most annoying of the bunch, spewing stupid 80s catchphrases left and right ... ugggh. Not to mention the kids were nothing more than irritating. UGH. Hate this movie.
    Killjoy :P

    Its great dumb fun, gloriously cheesy of course as are most 80s movies.

    No, I don't like The Goonies, either. Liked it better than this tripe, though.
    That explains everything :| And I actually watched The Goonies when I was a teenager, so one can't chock it up to me having found childhood memories of that movie.
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  4. #2504
    It's good to be king bac0n's Avatar
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    So, I watched Ong Bak 2 last night. I wouldn't mention this movie in an actually horror movie thread, but for the fact that IT'S SCARY HOW AWESOME THIS MOVIE IS@@@@!!%~

    thoughts?
    When I walk across the living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds! -- Jean-Claude Van Damme

  5. #2505
    Director Spun Lepton's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting bac0n (view post)
    So, I watched Ong Bak 2 last night. I wouldn't mention this movie in an actually horror movie thread, but for the fact that IT'S SCARY HOW AWESOME THIS MOVIE IS@@@@!!%~

    thoughts?
    You're drunk, aren't you?

  6. #2506
    pushing too many pencils Rowland's Avatar
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    I thought Ong Bak 2 was pretty boring.
    Letterboxd rating scale:
    The Long Riders (Hill) ***
    Furious 7 (Wan) **½
    Hard Times (Hill) ****½
    Another 48 Hrs. (Hill) ***
    /48 Hrs./ (Hill) ***½
    The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (Besson) ***
    /Unknown/ (Collet-Serra) ***½
    Animal (Simmons) **

  7. #2507
    Administrator Ezee E's Avatar
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    How does Ong Bak 2 compare to the other Jaa's?

    It: Chapter 2 - *
    Ford V Ferrari - *** 1/2
    Pain and Glory - ***


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  8. #2508
    A Platypus Grouchy's Avatar
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    For years I've had a comic-book adaptation of Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein and as a kid, it was my first contact with the story, even before reading the novel. But I had never watched the actual film until now. I gotta say, it was kind of funny seeing John Cleese act that serious. I think it's a good film, but excessively melodramatic and the style is too frantic - it works against the story.

  9. #2509
    Does not read Sutter Cane The Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Grouchy (view post)
    I think it's a good film, but excessively melodramatic and the style is too frantic - it works against the story.
    This is a fantastic assessment. Good call.
    The Mike

    It's very very horrible, sir. It's one of those things we wish we could disinvent.

    From Midnight, With Love - My Midnight Movie Blog of Justice!

  10. #2510
    It's good to be king bac0n's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Ezee E (view post)
    How does Ong Bak 2 compare to the other Jaa's?
    The only other Jaa I have seen was Ong Bak 1. That and that one super long take from the Protectererer where Jaa fights his way through an entire hotel.

    That being said, it's more of the same. cliche ridden plot - child whose parents are murdered, saved by wise old karate master, raised into human weapon, vows revenge on those who killed his family. Rowland's right, it is kinda boring on account of it having nothing that we haven't seen a thousand times before.

    The thing that (to me) saved Ong Bak 1 from being completely forgettable was the speed and brutality of Jaa's Muay Thai strikes, but in this film, Jaa is a Kung Fu and weapons master - nary any Muay Thai to be had here, which was disappointing. The result is a run-of-the-mill martial arts actioner - this movie has basically nothing to do with Ong Bak 1.
    When I walk across the living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me 10 seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds! -- Jean-Claude Van Damme

  11. #2511
    Director Scar's Avatar
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    Bac0n, you need to come over and watch The Protector. And drag punk sucker, too.
    “I have a very busy head. I have inside voices that I have learned to contain.”

  12. #2512
    Administrator Ezee E's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Scar (view post)
    Bac0n, you need to come over and watch The Protector. And drag punk sucker, too.
    Yeah, The Protector is pretty amazing as far as the fight scenes go. The superlong one is just one of the many good ones. Possibly the best in the movie, but it's close.

    It: Chapter 2 - *
    Ford V Ferrari - *** 1/2
    Pain and Glory - ***


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  13. #2513
    pushing too many pencils Rowland's Avatar
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    No activity around here in over a week, huh?

    Stuart Gordon's The Pit and the Pendulum is available on Netflix Instant View, and I've decided on a whim to watch it today with almost no expectations, since so few have even the seen the movie (nobody scored it for his consensus thread). I hope to report back with positive thoughts.
    Letterboxd rating scale:
    The Long Riders (Hill) ***
    Furious 7 (Wan) **½
    Hard Times (Hill) ****½
    Another 48 Hrs. (Hill) ***
    /48 Hrs./ (Hill) ***½
    The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (Besson) ***
    /Unknown/ (Collet-Serra) ***½
    Animal (Simmons) **

  14. #2514
    Moderator Dead & Messed Up's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Rowland (view post)
    No activity around here in over a week, huh?

    Stuart Gordon's The Pit and the Pendulum is available on Netflix Instant View, and I've decided on a whim to watch it today with almost no expectations, since so few have even the seen the movie (nobody scored it for his consensus thread). I hope to report back with positive thoughts.
    Ooh. I saw that too. I'll have to watch it too, so I can have my inevitable respectful disagreement with you.

    ritch:

    Seriously though, I'm very curious to watch it.

  15. #2515
    What is best in life? D_Davis's Avatar
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    It's OK.

  16. #2516
    pushing too many pencils Rowland's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Daniel Davis (view post)
    It's OK.
    Yeah, that sounds about right. The first act is its strongest (the opening scene is a howler), but it begins to spin its wheels after a while and the climax feels like a squandered opportunity, though the titular sequence is quite amusing. It's really Lance Henriksen's show, and he makes the most of it.
    Letterboxd rating scale:
    The Long Riders (Hill) ***
    Furious 7 (Wan) **½
    Hard Times (Hill) ****½
    Another 48 Hrs. (Hill) ***
    /48 Hrs./ (Hill) ***½
    The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (Besson) ***
    /Unknown/ (Collet-Serra) ***½
    Animal (Simmons) **

  17. #2517
    Director Scar's Avatar
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    Currently watch Dracula 2000. Not horrible, at least not yet.
    “I have a very busy head. I have inside voices that I have learned to contain.”

  18. #2518
    Director Scar's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Scar (view post)
    Currently watch Dracula 2000. Not horrible, at least not yet.
    w00t, I was right:

    [
    ]
    “I have a very busy head. I have inside voices that I have learned to contain.”

  19. #2519
    What is best in life? D_Davis's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Rowland (view post)
    It's really Lance Henriksen's show, and he makes the most of it.
    Easily the most (only?) memorable thing from the film.

  20. #2520
    Director Scar's Avatar
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    Well, it wasn't a steaming pile of shit. Just a 'meh' movie.
    “I have a very busy head. I have inside voices that I have learned to contain.”

  21. #2521
    The Pan megladon8's Avatar
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    The House of the Devil was good...but not all I was expecting.

    There are some moments of incredible tension and creepiness, but overall I just wasn't as "wow'd" by it as I was hoping I'd be.

    Needs a rewatch for sure.

  22. #2522
    Smug As Hell MadMan's Avatar
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    The Crazies remake was surprisingly well done, and it was better than the original, although granted Romero's effort was one of his lesser movies. Although I take some issues with what happened in the last act, I was greatly amused throughout seeing as the whole thing was set in a small town in Iowa (fictional, of course) that was near by Cedar Rapids. Wahoo.
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  23. #2523
    pushing too many pencils Rowland's Avatar
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    From Beyond doesn't have the same level of emotional resonance or cohesive thematic texture as Re-Animator, but it's clear that Gordon honed his directorial chops between the two films, as From Beyond is a more striking, dynamic cinematic experience, and holy shit are its effects gruesomely effective. Also, this film strikes me as a truer Lovecraft adaptation, and what's more, it seems an obvious precursor to Barker's probably-superior Hellraiser.
    Letterboxd rating scale:
    The Long Riders (Hill) ***
    Furious 7 (Wan) **½
    Hard Times (Hill) ****½
    Another 48 Hrs. (Hill) ***
    /48 Hrs./ (Hill) ***½
    The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (Besson) ***
    /Unknown/ (Collet-Serra) ***½
    Animal (Simmons) **

  24. #2524
    pushing too many pencils Rowland's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Rowland (view post)
    Anyone see Blood Creek? I know it's Schumacher, but the trailer is pretty badass, and the reviews from the few who have seen the damn thing are surprisingly solid.
    Oops.
    Letterboxd rating scale:
    The Long Riders (Hill) ***
    Furious 7 (Wan) **½
    Hard Times (Hill) ****½
    Another 48 Hrs. (Hill) ***
    /48 Hrs./ (Hill) ***½
    The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec (Besson) ***
    /Unknown/ (Collet-Serra) ***½
    Animal (Simmons) **

  25. #2525
    Screenwriter Philosophe_rouge's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting MadMan (view post)
    The Crazies remake was surprisingly well done, and it was better than the original, although granted Romero's effort was one of his lesser movies. Although I take some issues with what happened in the last act, I was greatly amused throughout seeing as the whole thing was set in a small town in Iowa (fictional, of course) that was near by Cedar Rapids. Wahoo.
    i really liked it. I loved the ending.
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