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  1. #1501
    Piss off, ghost! number8's Avatar
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    Hire a sex educator and get cold feet because she talks about sex stuff on the internet. What a fucking joke.

    I am very sad to announce that I am no longer working for Mississippi First. After making a public announcement of my hiring last Thursday, a handful of 'concerned citizens' started googling me, pulling decade-old pictures off my Facebook timeline and expressing pearl-clutching outrage at a post about yoda-shaped pasties, a comic about sex toys, and the use of 'the f word' on twitter. Mississippi First assured me they were behind me 100%.

    Friday night I received an ominous email from the executive director: Time to talk. Free tomorrow?

    Saturday morning I was asked to resign. The organization that I had only just joined turned their back on me at the first sign of resistance. I could not believe that a social justice group would fold so quickly. They did not try to defend or protect me. They deleted the hiring announcement, attempting to sweep this injustice under the rug. But I cannot let this stand. I've attached a copy of my letter of non-resignation (no way in hell I was going to resign!) and I'd appreciate it if you'd share my story with friends, family, and colleagues and on social media. A wonderful friend came up with the hashtag #letnorahteach. Progressive organizations need to stand up to this conservative voice or we risk losing our own. Stand up for me. Stand up for yourself
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  2. #1502
    i am the great went ledfloyd's Avatar
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    Questioning whether or not pursuing a workplace relationship is a good idea right now.

  3. #1503
    The Pan megladon8's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting ledfloyd (view post)
    Questioning whether or not pursuing a workplace relationship is a good idea right now.
    Going by the experiences of others, I would say avoid it.

    Unless it's a soul mate thing, or one of you doesn't care about being fired.

  4. #1504
    Ain't that just the way EyesWideOpen's Avatar
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    I've had a couple workplace relationships as an adult and I had no problems with them. I bet if you were a teenager it could be a big issue since you're not really mature enough to cope with it if it goes south but as long as it's not something you're going to be fired over I say go for it. I've only worked at one place where you were not allowed to have a relationship with a co-worker.
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  5. #1505
    i am the great went ledfloyd's Avatar
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    Getting fired isn't an issue. Just seems like it could be really awkward if things don't work out.

  6. #1506
    Ain't that just the way EyesWideOpen's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting ledfloyd (view post)
    Getting fired isn't an issue. Just seems like it could be really awkward if things don't work out.
    It also depends on how close you work with them. If you're a cop and you're dating your partner then yeah it would be awkward if you broke up but if it's just someone in the same office as you I don't see the issue unless of course it ends terribly on one end or the other.
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  7. #1507
    Moderator Dead & Messed Up's Avatar
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    I've been hesitant about workplace relationships in the past, but, seriously, once you're an adult and out of college and working full-time to stay alive, the number of places where you'll find a compatible partner dwindles. There's work, online dating sites, uh... church, if you're one of those church-goers (my mom tried to get me someone on ChristianMingle, oof).

    So I say go out once or twice, take it as just that.

    If it gets more serious, figure out if it's worth either of you relocating to a different job to minimize work impact. If it's a positive enough relationship, that'll probably be worth it.

  8. #1508
    i am the great went ledfloyd's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Dead & Messed Up (view post)
    So I say go out once or twice, take it as just that.
    This is kind of where I'm at with it.

  9. #1509
    i am the great went ledfloyd's Avatar
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    So this girl I've been talking to (is that what the kids are calling it these days?) is seven years younger than me. I could really use an emoji translator.

  10. #1510
    What is best in life? D_Davis's Avatar
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    Almost all of my relationships have started in the workplace. It's where we spend like 7 hours a day, so it just makes sense that some of the relationships started there would or could become romantic.

  11. #1511
    Piss off, ghost! number8's Avatar
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    I don't think there should be a rule against where relationships start. There's just the question of how you will behave when forced to be around each other once the relationship (possibly) ends. I believe the consequence is universal across workplace, a shared apartment, or a close social group. Unless you only want to start relationships with complete strangers (which admittedly is easy these days), the same risk will always be present and not exclusive to co-workers.
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
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  12. #1512
    The Pan megladon8's Avatar
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    This is a porn question...

    So anyone who watches (or has watched) online has undoubtedly seen "casting couch" videos.

    These surely aren't for real, right? I mean, the women must know what to expect when they go to these "auditions"?

    These are not exactly a new thing so surely the women can't be that naive?

    Is it all a set up wherein they go there knowing they are going to have sex, and are instructed just to act oblivious?

  13. #1513
    Piss off, ghost! number8's Avatar
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    Most are neither and are fully scripted.
    Quote Quoting Donald Glover
    I was actually just reading about Matt Damon and he’s like, ‘There’s a culture of outrage.’ I’m like, ‘Well, they have a reason to be outraged.’ I think it’s a lot of dudes just being scared. They’re like, ‘What if I did something and I didn’t realize it?’ I’m like, ‘Deal with it.’
    Movie Theater Diary

  14. #1514
    I'm in the milk... Mara's Avatar
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    Okay, I have to talk about this somewhere semi-private because it involves a person I know in real life and I wouldn't want to embarrass her, and she's probably too close to the situation to find it funny. But I think it's HILARIOUS.

    This friend (who I like but we're not super close) mostly does freelance technical writing but I already knew also makes some money writing erotica. I recently found out she also does camgirl stuff. (Nerdy stuff, I assume-- she's very into cosplay and fairy/supernatural stuff.) She's married but in an open relationship and sometimes has boyfriends on the side.

    She also has some pretty severe chronic health issues that sometimes cause pain. I've seen it get pretty bad, but it's unpredictable-- she's fine until she's not.

    Anyway, she's been complaining on Facebook about a newish boyfriend. I guess he's not being cool with her health stuff. She was upfront about it, but he doesn't make allowances at all for when she's not feeling well and he is unsympathetic and ungenerous when she's ill. She wants to break it off, but is shy about confrontation and wants to sit him down, explain the issues, etc. and hasn't had the time.

    So, apparently what went down today was that she was doing a cam show. I don't know much about how that works, but there was a public or semi-public chat attached to it and boyfriend jumped on and was like, "Hey, are we okay?" She was mortified because it was really unprofessional and in front of everyone and also, hello, super needy. I'm not sure how she responded, if at all, but he then BOUGHT A PAID PRIVATE SESSION with her so they could talk and she had to break up with him on camera.

    I repeat, HE BOUGHT CAMERA TIME WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND SO SHE COULD DUMP HIM.

    I mean... that's funny, right?
    ...and the milk's in me.

  15. #1515
    Director Spun Lepton's Avatar
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    That will definitely be something she looks back upon and laughs.

  16. #1516
    Moderator Dead & Messed Up's Avatar
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    It's funny, but a part of my heart goes out to the poor sap who was dating her. That dude cannot be taking it well.

  17. #1517
    A Platypus Grouchy's Avatar
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    Something is been happening which is a new one for me.

    I had been in a relationship since August. It was all going excellent but then she started having some troubles. Her mother, who had not led an easy life, had a rare brain disease which also affected her bodily functions. She became erratic and unpredictable and plus she was plainly dying, her brain forgetting how to digest food or even breathe properly... Neither she nor her mother nor her two brothers had the money to pay for full-time nurse care so they took turns taking care of her, which also meant our time together diminished drastically until I started to accompany her. Her mother just got worse and worse, it was really heartbreaking and eventually she died. At the same time my girlfriend's apartment contract was expiring and she had no time or means to find a new place to go so she moved in with me.

    Suffice it to say, we went through a lot of stuff on eight months that most relationships only encounter after years of being together. And our connivance wasn't good. I'm not used to living with others, to be honest, and I started getting really surly and moody with her - I just found that sometimes I wanted to be alone and I couldn't anymore. It all ended on one big drunken row, in front of a lot of my friends to boot, and she left for her aunt's house in the middle of the night. After that we only spoke whenever necessary and we said really nasty things to one another.

    A month and a half passed and the day before yesterday she came to my house to pick up her bycicle and all her things which were still there. I was really dreading the encounter to be honest and a bit confused about how I'd feel, but I still greeted her warmly. We had coffee together, talked about what we were doing nowadays, smoked a joint and it turns out breaking up with me was the best thing that could have happened to her. She had to stand up on her own and she pulled out of the crippling depression she was feeling about her mother, which wasn't doing us any good either. One thing led to another, we went to buy tobacco together, bought a bottle of wine and started drinking it on the park... Eventually I ended up going to her place (she moved to her mother's house) and we had sex all night and woke up together to go to work as if nothing bad had ever happened between us.

    And now... I don't know. We were pretty clear that we weren't going to be a couple again, but that there's no bad blood between us anymore and we can be together once in a while. There's also no restrictions on having sex with other people. But we made a date on Tuesday to watch Avengers: Endgame (I've seen it already but none of her friends are into superheroes so none wants to go with her) and now I'm looking forward to that more than seeing other girls I'd made dates with before our encounter.

    So, I guess my question is, has anyone been in a relationship that mutated like this? And my question to myself is, will I be able to cope with it? I'm not a particularly jealous person but I can't stop thinking about her romantically now that we've had sex again. Her birthday is coming up and she will have a party without me, obviously, so, should I still buy her a present? It's all uncharted territory for me, to be honest.

  18. #1518
    Replacing Luck Since 1984 Dukefrukem's Avatar
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    I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with the way your relationship has evolved. What's important is that you both learned from the experience of initially living together and there's probably a conversation in the future about the romantic feelings you have, and ask if she feels similarity or if it's just a friends with benefits thing.

    I went through a similar living transition with my girlfriend before I met my wife. We had different opinions on where we wanted to live, she wanted to live in the city and I wanted to live in the burbs. We compromised by signing a 1 year lease on an apartment right smack in the middle of where we both wanted to live (We both owned homes so it was a good compromise at the time). We moved in together, and it was horrible. We learned that we were not compatible living together and I feel like I acted very similarly the way you did. I was moody and got frustrated with her living habits; which I was surprised I was so moody about stuff because I had roommates in college and we lived in the dirtiest apartments ever then. We broken up in the end, but I never would have met my wife if we hadn't tried this living experiment.

    Not really the same scenario as it didn't come full circle but I guess the point is you learn from experiences and your expectations change so why not ask her how she feels?

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  19. #1519
    A Platypus Grouchy's Avatar
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    Quote Quoting Dukefrukem (view post)
    why not ask her how she feels?
    Because I don't want to ruin it just yet hahah. She was pretty clear that she felt a lot better being single and, frankly, so do I. It wasn't until I saw her and we had a few laughs that I realized I missed her as a person.

    But your experience living together is pretty helpful. I guess sometimes people step on each other's toes if they're too close. Like for example, she hated rock music in the mornings, which is the only way I find I can wake up early and still be in a good mood. Conversely, she loves having the TV on as white noise as she does other things, which is a habit I can't stand - it never becomes white noise for me, it's just noise.

    EDIT: I guess the bottom line is, I never ever became "friends with benefits" with someone after we were a couple.
    Last edited by Grouchy; 05-09-2019 at 08:33 PM.

  20. #1520
    good for health Skitch's Avatar
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    I'm sure the issues with the mother were a factor, but as someone who has had two roommates and now been married for 8 years, I would say you've listed several points that indicate if you would move back into a relationship, the same issues would arise. Those little things that annoy you with living together are not going to change.

  21. #1521
    A Platypus Grouchy's Avatar
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    Yeah, but that's exactly the point of what we talked - not to move back into a relationship, just the FWB thing. It all came from her too and surprised me but right there yeah, I wanted to be with her and had a wonderful time and would again while having my own life. I just wonder if it's truly feasible.

    We haven't been chatting or anything, for example. I'll just talk with her to arrange to go to the movie.

  22. #1522
    good for health Skitch's Avatar
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    Oh well if you discussed the FWB scenario, charge on my good sir. As for the feasibility, I think those relationships are rarely long long term. And anytime you're thinking maybe otherwise, leave the TV on for 24 hours.

  23. #1523
    The Pan megladon8's Avatar
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    EDIT: Correction - I like making the sex.

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