The Secret Thread That No One Wants Other People to See While Posting in Public

[Qrazy]

Oh whoops, I misread. Then yeah, that sounds even shittier. I'd still call her out on it, though, 'cause it's not fair that you're now left to make a decision as to the future of your friendship. Maybe next time she starts talking about her boyfriend, you ask her if her boyfriend's cool with her spending the night cuddling with you. Put the decision back entirely on her.

Yeah maybe, I don't know, what would that accomplish? I feel like the ball is in my court. Either I take things to the next level and destroy her relationship or I pursue other avenues with other people. I guess I'll probably do the latter.

[Qrazy]

Exactly how I read it, and exactly my response. Seems like a pathetic attempt to maneuver someone else into the one who is more responsible for her infidelity. I certainly wouldn't want to date someone who is behaving that way behind the back of a boyfriend. Be an adult and break it off if you are unhappy.

Oh for sure, I don't want to date her. I don't think she's really unhappy with her boyfriend either, but they are long distance so that is probably wearing on the relationship.

[number8]

Yeah maybe, I don't know, what would that accomplish? I feel like the ball is in my court. Either I take things to the next level and destroy her relationship or I pursue other avenues with other people. I guess I'll probably do the latter.

It would accomplish freeing you up from having the ball in your court, I think. Her relationship shouldn't be your business and by stressing out over what to do you're making it your business.

[Melville]

Unless all her talk about her boyfriend is actually part of a long-winded story that will eventually end with how he's fine with her flirting and/or sleeping with other guys, she's a disgrace and should be told so.

[Qrazy]

Unless all her talk about her boyfriend is actually part of a long-winded story that will eventually end with how he's fine with her flirting and/or sleeping with other guys, she's a disgrace and should be told so.

Haha, I just picture myself donning an 18th century powdered wig and proclaiming with outstretched arm... 'You madam are a disgrace upon your sex!'

[Melville]

Haha, I just picture myself donning an 18th century powdered wig and proclaiming with outstretched arm... 'You madam are a disgrace upon your sex!'

Nothing to do with gender. Unless you're misrepresenting her behaviour, she's both wanting to cheat on her significant other and wanting you to give her the push to do so. That's disgraceful. If ever there was a moral obligation, it's for you to send her packing or at least tell her to break up with her boyfriend if she wants to pursue anything sexual with you.

[Qrazy]

Nothing to do with gender. Unless you're misrepresenting her behaviour, she's both wanting to cheat on her significant other and wanting you to give her the push to do so. That's disgraceful. If ever there was a moral obligation, it's for you to send her packing or at least tell her to break up with her boyfriend if she wants to pursue anything sexual with you.

I agree... but I also want to indulge in my wig fantasies.

[Melville]

I agree... but I also want to indulge in my wig fantasies.

Haha. Well all right, then.

[Sycophant]

Maybe she has wig fantasies, too. Maybe such a denunciation is exactly what she's hoping to get out of this.

[Qrazy]

Maybe she has wig fantasies, too. Maybe such a denunciation is exactly what she's hoping to get out of this.

I think that's a foregone conclusion at this point.

[ledfloyd]

the wig would be appropriate for melville's suggestion of defenestration as well. it's win win.

[Grouchy]

Have you ever been with a woman who has a lot of trouble reaching orgasm?

I've been seeing a girl who rarely, if ever, orgasms when we're fucking. She needs her clit touched or sucked in order to come. The troubling part for me is that she doesn't ask for it. I mean, if I have sex with someone and don't come, I might even call the cops. This lady seems completely indifferent towards it and, I dunno, I don't like it. It makes her seem uninvolved in the sex.

[Thirdmango]

This lady seems completely indifferent towards it and, I dunno, I don't like it. It makes her seem uninvolved in the sex.

She may have been conditioned by past boyfriends or sexual partners not to say anything. Like if at some point she did say something and they got mad or perhaps if talking about the issue with her girlfriends and they gave her bad advice of not saying anything. Try talking to her about it and telling her it's not only okay but you feel better if she's more involved vocally.

[Lucky]

Decent or even bad sex can become downright amazing sex with the right communication. It's all about breaking the ice as soon as possible and feeling more and more comfortable.

[Grouchy]

I was thinking the exact same thing, namely, that she's afraid of talking about it or telling what she actually likes.

[number8]

Woke up naked on someone's couch. Hungover, starving and blue balled. There is a church next door.

Not feeling so good.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Woke up naked on someone's couch. Hungover, starving and blue balled. There is a church next door.

The universe is trying to tell you something.

[Kurosawa Fan]

I think he should look for relevant numbers. That's the only way to really know.

[number8]

And it's such a good horoscope week too.

[Kurosawa Fan]

And it's such a good horoscope week too.

Only morons look at that stuff.


Seriously, check your numbers.

[Qrazy]

The universe is trying to tell you something.

Keep your clothes on if you pass out on someone's couch?

[number8]

Heh, I didn't exactly pass out. I was Ross'd by a lesbian couple, to use the only Friends reference I know.

[Qrazy]

Heh, I didn't exactly pass out. I was Ross'd by a lesbian couple, to use the only Friends reference I know.

Damn lesbians. This is why when you leave the house you should always pack your wig.

[number8]

I know some of my posts make it sound like my life is 24/7 Dionysian orgies (I think it was Qrazy who argued that I am a hedonist), but really, all of my group sex experience so far have been limited to with just good friends who are simply looking at sex as not a big deal. I don't even go to sex clubs. Sure, I've been to a few public kinky events before, but I'd always only been a fully clothed voyeur (or journalist, heh). So recently I went to my first real poly meetup, and it was interesting to meet all these other people who actually see these activities as a basis for a "community."

We're not supposed to talk about it, so I won't name it and I'll keep it hopefully vague enough, but it wasn't a sex party—just conversations and the occasional kissing. You always hear the horror stories of these "swingers" all being old married couples or dirty old men with hookers, and from what one of my friends told me when she and her boyfriend went to one of the New York sex clubs, it was kind of like that and soured her on the experience. So it was a huge relief when we got there and this event was full of younger attractive folks who are artsy and nerdy, and the male-female ratio was pretty close to 50-50. Some of the women I talked to were flat-out gorgeous.

I went with two girls; my primary partner and the girl who we just recently started referring to as my secondary (mostly only in jest because we're not dating, but it does feel that way a lot of times). It's fair to say that they are way cuter than me, so they were more popular than I was at the party (that's to be expected). One guy came up to me and told me that my primary was radiant and everyone wanted to make out with her. I got a gigantic kick out of that. The three of us separated a bit and introduced ourselves to different people, which was so great. I loved meeting other couples who are into the same things.

At some point, the three of us ended up with a very, very cute young couple and started a five-way makeout session that, uh, got slightly handsy, and we were so piled together that it became a blur who was touching who. I occasionally glanced back to see other people watching us, and loved it even more. My secondary went home with them to have a threesome, while my primary and I went home to have our own fun. We didn't even make it to the living room. In the morning, my secondary came back and we had breakfast together and talked about the previous night.

I never really mentioned much of it here because I always prefer to keep Match Cut my happy place that I turn to whenever I need some good conversations (heated confrontations and all), but 2010 was a pretty difficult year for me. I went through a number of rough events that turned my life upside down, and felt lost and uncertain for a few months. In 2011, things improved dramatically, and it's been going so well for so long now, that sometimes I am terrified by the thought of when the other shoe is going to drop. Sitting there at the breakfast table, remembering the party, surrounded by people I really love, I was overcome with this immense emotion telling me that, as often as I get pissed off by the state of the world, life can be so overwhelmingly good. I realized that there's not much more I could hope for to be happy.

[Spinal]

8, have you read the book Sex at Dawn? I'm about mid-way through it. I think you'd enjoy it.