The 100 Worstest Things Ever: A Rip-Off

[Winston*]

I don't think poker is a particularly boring "sport" to watch (I'd rather watch it than say, basketball), but the insufferable twattitude on display in seemingly the majority of professional poker players can make it pretty unbearable.

[dreamdead]

Boo-urns to you.

Watching Moneymaker and Fossilman win the WSOP > you.

[Sven]

Fighting over lists is super lame-o.

Who's fighting? I'm dancing over here!

[Ezee E]

I don't care for poker on TV, but it's just a "meh" thing to me. Hardly a worst thing ever. The limited theatrical release is lame, but luckily, Denver's getting bigger and bigger for film, so I usually get everything at some point.

[number8]

Imagine if theaters stop carrying non-blockbusters altogether in Canada, replacing them with big-screen broadcasts of poker matches!

[Kurosawa Fan]

Poker on TV is lame. Solid list thus far meg.

[megladon8]

98

H.P. Lovecraft's Elder Gods

Since "worstest" is relative, I'd like to point out that this entry is simulaneously bad and awesome - bad because the Elder Gods mean for us as a race to end and are actually waiting to reawaken so they can devour us all. Good because they're giant monsters that could probably be adapted for an awesome Godzilla movie.

The story goes like this ; eons ago, the Elder Gods (Cthulhu, Dagon, etc.) came to Earth. Their long journey from lightyears away left them tired, and they have been hibernating at the bottom of our deepest oceans ever since, waiting for us to realize our place in the grand scheme of things. This has led to several powerful cults being formed whose sole purpose is to resurrect these gargantuan creatures so they can eat us and continue their journey of universal domination.

It's incredible to imagine just how freaking huge these creatures are supposed to be...Lovecraft managed to make me permanently afraid of the ocean and what could be down there.

In one of his stories, a ship is sailing on the ocean and the crew look overboard to see a giant blinking eye underneath the ship - the eye stretches out in all directions, and in every direction goes right to the horizon. That's just the thing's eye. That's so huge, it's hard to comprehend.

So yeh, while simultaneously awesome, H. P. Lovecraft's Elder Gods are some of the scariest - and worstest - creatures ever described in literature.

[MadMan]

I agree with #100. #99 can be dull, but it can also be exciting. My friend and I did spend most of the summer of 2006 watching The World Series of Poker-now that tournament is cool. But the little shows that keep poping up all over TV suck. Celebrity Poker can be fun to watch sometimes.

[Sven]

To make a couple of corrections, The Old Ones aren't really "hibernating", but rather, are quite dead and awaiting resurrection. However, their deaths do not preclude abilities of extra-terrestrial or supernatural awareness, such as psychic suggestion and such.

Also, they're not just hidden in the seas, but also frozen in the arctics and submerged in cavernous recesses beneath the ground, etc.

[MadMan]

The Elder Gods are the main reason why I don't read Lovecraft. That and the guy's stories sound freaky, scary and twisted. What the hell was going on in that guy's head I donno, and I'm not sure I want to know.

[megladon8]

To make a couple of corrections, The Old Ones aren't really "hibernating", but rather, are quite dead and awaiting resurrection. However, their deaths do not preclude abilities of extra-terrestrial or supernatural awareness, such as psychic suggestion and such.

Also, they're not just hidden in the seas, but also frozen in the arctics and submerged in cavernous recesses beneath the ground, etc.

I didn't know you were a Lovecraft fan - awesome!

Are you sure they're dead? Even Cthulhu's verses state that he is "asleep in his house on Rhyleh".

[megladon8]

The Elder Gods are the main reason why I don't read Lovecraft. That and the guy's stories sound freaky, scary and twisted. What the hell was going on in that guy's head I donno, and I'm not sure I want to know.

What do you mean by this? That the idea freaks you out to much? Or you're not interested?

And yes, his stories were definitely freaky, scary and twisted. Some of them have a good sense of humor, though. As I've stated before, he would sometimes say things like "___________ was so horrible and wretched it could not possibly be described in any human language"...then he would go on to describe it. Just subtle stuff like that.

But yeh, it's definitely very twisted stuff. Kind of like the Clive Barker of his day.

[Sven]

I didn't know you were a Lovecraft fan - awesome!

Are you sure they're dead? Even Cthulhu's verses state that he is "asleep in his house on Rhyleh".

Sure, sure. One of the best, do doubt.

There might be differences in terms, but in The Call of Cthulhu (which I have right here in front of me), the text actually reads:

"In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

[jenniferofthejungle]

Imagine if theaters stop carrying non-blockbusters altogether in Canada, replacing them with big-screen broadcasts of poker matches!

:lol:
------------------------

You almost lost me with the Elder Gods, Braden. I thought you were saying you disliked them.

[MadMan]

What do you mean by this? That the idea freaks you out to much? Or you're not interested?

And yes, his stories were definitely freaky, scary and twisted. Some of them have a good sense of humor, though. As I've stated before, he would sometimes say things like "___________ was so horrible and wretched it could not possibly be described in any human language"...then he would go on to describe it. Just subtle stuff like that.

But yeh, it's definitely very twisted stuff. Kind of like the Clive Barker of his day.

That idea freaks me out too much. Seriously the idea that ancient alien gods that will awaken and devour our earth is pretty terrifying. I may check out In the Mouth of Madness if its made into a movie, but it'll probably be a rental-I really can't watch most horror movies in the theater. I'm just too easily scared.

[megladon8]

Sure, sure. One of the best, do doubt.

There might be differences in terms, but in The Call of Cthulhu (which I have right here in front of me), the text actually reads:

"In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

Ah, well, I stand corrected

And Jen, I love the Elder Gods - that's why I said they're simultaneously awesome But they're on the "worstest" list, because, well, they're evil.

[Sven]

That idea freaks me out too much. Seriously the idea that ancient alien gods that will awaken and devour our earth is pretty terrifying. I may check out In the Mouth of Madness if its made into a movie, but it'll probably be a rental-I really can't watch most horror movies in the theater. I'm just too easily scared.

You mean The Mountains of Madness.

In the Mouth of Madness is already a Carpenter film. One very directly influenced by Lovecraft.

[Watashi]

What's a good place to start out with Lovecraft?

[Watashi]

Now I know what blogs Jen frequently visits.

*bookmarks*

[megladon8]

That idea freaks me out too much. Seriously the idea that ancient alien gods that will awaken and devour our earth is pretty terrifying. I may check out In the Mouth of Madness if its made into a movie, but it'll probably be a rental-I really can't watch most horror movies in the theater. I'm just too easily scared.

I would actually suggest you stay away from "At the Mountains of Madness" until you are more familiar with Lovecraft's work and decide whether or not you like his writing style.

His short stories are not only better than "At the Mountains of Madness", but also less daunting.

He tends to write huge blocks of narrative without any dialogue, and will write pages upon pages of description. It really works better in short story format. So even though "At the Mountains of Madness" is just a novella, it's a pretty hard read.

[megladon8]

What's a good place to start out with Lovecraft?

Any of his short story collections would be great.

I wouldn't say there's any starting place better than another, because so many of his stories intersect and relate to each other.

If you want to get a good handle on the Elder Gods mythos, some stories you should check out are:

"The Call of Cthulhu"
"Dagon"
"The Dunwich Horror"
"The Colour Out of Space"
"Rats in the Walls"

He also has a bunch of standalone stories that are very creepy as well.

But yeh, a short story collection would definitely be the place to go.

This is the first one I got, and I'd still say it's probably the best I own:

[MadMan]

I would actually suggest you stay away from "At the Mountains of Madness" until you are more familiar with Lovecraft's work and decide whether or not you like his writing style.

His short stories are not only better than "At the Mountains of Madness", but also less daunting.

He tends to write huge blocks of narrative without any dialogue, and will write pages upon pages of description. It really works better in short story format. So even though "At the Mountains of Madness" is just a novella, it's a pretty hard read.

Oh, I see. Maybe I'll do just that.

You mean The Mountains of Madness.

In the Mouth of Madness is already a Carpenter film. One very directly influenced by Lovecraft.

Oh, yeah heh. I want to see the Carpenter flick because it stars Sam Neil and I'm a fan of Capenter. "The Mountains of Madness" will be directedy by Del Tero, which peaks my interest greatly.

[Spinal]

Televised Poker is awesome.

Agreed. I'll watch it anytime.

[megladon8]

97

CnL

CnL is where I do most of my DVD shopping. Situated in British Columbia, they have pretty much the best deal around - $5.00 base fee for shipping, and if I order before 4PM on a weekday, they'll be on my doorstep the next morning. I really don't understand how they do that, since I am on the other side of a very large country, but hey, I'm not complaining.

So why is this on the "worstest list"?

I'll tell you why...

$7,796.29, that's why.

Since April 22, 2003, I have spent $7,796.29 on DVDs from this place.

That's insane.

[Mr. Valentine]

poker to me is one of the most boring things i could ever imagine doing so watching it on tv would be doubly so.