I’m so hungry my stomach feels like it’s going to eat itself.
I’m so hungry my stomach feels like it’s going to eat itself.
30 isn't too late. You want to move to LA or travel the world or do whatever, you can.Quoting Ivan Drago (view post)
The trick is managing your anxiety because you've chosen an industry where nobody knows what-the-fuck. There's a lotta people between you and opening night and you have no control over who decides what or when. Most people I know have several irons in the fire and they're always thinking about or working on their next thing, because who knows what'll happen with the script they just finished or the film they just shot?
You might want to check out TGM's posts in the "creative collective thread." That dude has an insane work ethic. IIRC, he holds down a full time job, maintains his blog, has written three novels and has talked about plans for a fourth, and recently posted a teaser for a short film. You wanna hit that sort of groove: where you're constantly honing your craft and putting work out there. TGM might dream big dreams and walk around half the day with his head in the clouds --- to be honest I have no idea --- but his feet are planted firmly on the ground. He's focused on moving forward and takes concrete steps to go where he wants to go.
To counter later-night twitter: Keep things close at hand that inspire you. Eg: I maintain a twitter list that's full of people and institutions in fields like graphic design and fine arts: Museums, galleries, festivals, curators, magazines, academic journals, working artists and designers, etc. I can scroll through it once or twice a day, look and the images and read the text and get energized. I don't do this because I want to run off to France and become a painter. I do it to remind myself there's good people out there doing great work and, in whatever small way, I want to be a part of that.
Best luck. Keep working. You've made a short film you're happy with and that's terrific. Now go make another one.
ETA: Here's a tweet plucked from the top of my twitter list. Seemed apropos.
^ Text: "On an inspirational note, Brassaï had not even held a camera until the age of 30 and only got into photography so he could charge extra for articles he'd written." (emphasis mine)
More on Brassaï: http://www.artnet.com/artists/brassa%C3%AF/ (possible NSFW)
Last edited by Irish; 07-30-2018 at 11:35 PM.
Today my doctor tried to have me hospitalized and put on suicide watch based on a 6 question test.
So I’ve got that going for me.
What the hell kind of test was that??
6 questions about my mental state.
Stuff like “do you ever feel hopeless and like you should just give up?”, “do you often think your loved ones would be better off if you were dead?”
And like, yes. Duh.
For what it's worth.
I have a therapist, been going for maybe two years, and it's been helpful. You can always check and see if they'll work on a sliding scale, or if they have references for social workers. There are affordable options out there. The counterpoint is that therapy is work. It's like physical therapy, but for your mindset, and that can be a challenge. But I would recommend at least trying it out and seeing how you feel about it.
Also, that's great news that you got that positive feedback! And, hell, I'd update your resume with that semi-finalist notice. People react to that.
I didn't win at Shriekfest last year, but I was a finalist, and a guy I know (who's also a producer/director who's directed two films, one of which I promoted on this site before ANY of this business between us started because I thought it was a good film and worth promoting) asked to read a script of mine on the basis of that finalist status, and we since then have a handshake agreement on developing it further. And now he's become more interested in what I'm writing and wants to read a treatment I pitched him on a couple months ago.
And I'm 35.
So fuck it, y'know.
Where's this movie draft that you were going to do, Duke?
I'm really not sure what you were trying to go for in posting this. To denigrate your doctor's judgement because he/she utilized a "quiz" to gauge your mental state? Or are you trying to sarcastically call attention to the fact that you aren't doing well emotionally? Because it's fully appropriate (and common) for a doctor to utilize a vetted list of depression/suicide screening questions to determine that you might need concentrated inpatient psychiatric help. At the very least, I'd hope that you and others on this board would recognize that responding to those two questions (and any of the others on that screening test) in the affirmative is pretty concerning.
I do have severe depression and anxiety, and have been / will be forever medicated. Due to having been in chemo therapy during early puberty, my brain doesn’t produce seratonin properly.
I really just thought that a 6 question multiple choice test that literally took less than 10 seconds to complete is a silly way to determine that such strong response is needed.
I’ve always felt these things, and I don’t feel them in any stronger amount now than I did last week, last month, last year, or when I was 18.
Many peoples’ lives WOULD be better off if I wasn’t around. I don’t think that’s that uncommon of a thought.
But getting back on track to your question, amberlita, again I just found it almost funny that 6 vaguely worded multiple choice questions could lead to “oh my god you need to be hospitalized!”
Besides, I can’t afford to take the time off work.
I do. And though I don't know very much about the people you're referring to, I'd hope you speak to them about this, talk through it, and understand that it's not true.
I have several in the works and I've been holding off on them for a bit.
Which one are you referring to?
This is definitely an uncommon thought. I'll echo duke's comments that I hope you'll talk with the people in your lives about this and beyond that consider your doctor's advice.
last four:
black widow - 8
zero dark thirty - 9
the muse - 7
freaky - 7
now reading:
lonesome dove - larry mcmurtry
Letterboxd
The Harrison Marathon - A Podcast About Harrison Ford
Weren't you going to host one here?
Yes, I just don't remember what it was. LOL. Remind me?
This is the only forum I contribute to I just don't remember what my pitch was.
Ah. I found it.
http://matchcut.artboiled.com/showth...290#post592290
The George Bailey syndrome. This is definitively not a common thing to dwell on.
You're half right in that the doctor is obviously trying to cover his ass. He has no real case for hospitalization. But regardless you should try to get to the bottom of why you keep having these thoughts.
Apparently there's a leak in my car. Not too much got damaged, but not all came out unscathed. So I've got a bit of a sale going on to get rid of this stock.
[]
If anyone wants a book and doesn't mind some mild to medium water damage, lemme know and I'll sign it and ship it to ya, on the house!
(while supplies last :P )
Edit: books 1 & 4 and the comics are now sold out as part of this deal.
Edit: All sold out of Green Lions. Got one more Masquerade left if anyone wants it!
Last edited by TGM; 08-04-2018 at 08:08 PM.
Removing old caulk and re caulking an old shower / tub combo wasn’t as big of a pain in the ass as I thought. Removed the old sliding doors and frame, sealed the six holes, and will install a double curved shower rod tomorrow after the caulk cures.
I guess that’s a benefit of hitting your forty by one o’clock on a Thursday....
“What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”
My tub faucet diverter decided to stop working so I get to deal with that this weekend. Completely renovated bathroom 5 years ago :/
Probably some cheap plastic part failed.
“What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”
After removing the door frame from the shower / tub, I found thirty-forty years worth of hard water buildup. Soaked some paper towels in industrial delimer, and then draped them over the hard water build up. After an hour, I tried scrubbing, and didn't make much progress. Grabbed a razor scraper, and meticulously scraped off the lime scale.
Beer time.
“What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”
That Minnesota Hard Water is no joke.
Didn't get much sleep last night. Didn't help that my one dream was going on an international flight by myself where it took like an hour to get thru the airport only to realize upon sitting down that I left my only bag with all my stuff in it somewhere back down the huge line of people and my flight was leaving soon. Then I woke up and got worse 'cause I started to think of how I'd have a panic attack if that happened in real life, and then TSA would walk over and decide to feel extra fucking useless that day and start berating me and ordering me around and causing more of a scene and I'd just descend into insanity and pass out or die.
"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?"
--Homer
Incredible.
I haven’t gotten up this early since the days of traveling for work. Brisket is out, charcoal chimney has already been lit and added to the smoker, and smoker water bath filled with boiling water.
“What we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.”
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