whaaaaaQuote:
Originally Posted by megladon8
:frustrated:
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whaaaaaQuote:
Originally Posted by megladon8
:frustrated:
We do it to screw with your brains.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightside
Hey, who here is presently despairing because of growing older, shortened time, lost youth, mortality awareness, etc? Like, constantly pressing despairing. Active despair.
I think it is more like announcing that you have terrible taste. Pa-chow!Quote:
Originally Posted by number8
*cymbal kick*
Well, I did make that thread a bit ago talking about my ongoing struggle with my extreme fear of death.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven
Right, yes. I looked it up and recall it now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightside
So, what's going on? I mean, does the mortality thing stem more from a feeling of wasted time, or a fear of actual death? Or is it both?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven
Doing better now. But a couple months ago, I was kind of a mess.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven
This is me on and off since the beginning of the year. As I inch closer to life's halfway point (the perceived halfway point) there's a sense of dread. Not necessarily of death, but more of old age. The years flying by don't help matters. Neither does my once invincible body turning vincible (I had no idea vincible was a word until now, so I have that going for me today).Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven
I've been working hard on my depression. I keep feeling like I'm in the beginning stages of a cycle, and that frightens me, because I know how bad they can get. So I've been actively trying to talk myself out of it and to take care of myself.
For instance, if there actually does end up being a big family ruckus today, I've decided to leave the house. Not entirely sure where I'd go, but I packed a little bag. I'd probably crash with a friend. Not the bravest course of action, but I'm not in a place emotionally where I can get into (or even witness) a bad screaming match.
We pushed closing on the house to Thursday. At this point, I'm relieved, even though it puts me in a time crunch later on. (There's no leeway at this point-- it's do or die Thursday.)
From about 32-34 I was hit by this big time. I mean, I could barely think of anything else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven
I struggled for decades with clinical depression. I was miserable through my teens, 20s and part of my 30s. It took me a really long time to "get over it."
Developing "meta-emotions" worked amazingly. Essentially, it's the ability to feel an emotion and immediately recognize what you're feeling, instead of just getting swept up in it. Once you're able to do this, you'll start to maintain some control over your emotional state. It takes a LOT of practice and a long time to master, though ... and I have not mastered it. I still get swept up on occasion.
These days, the darkness occasionally comes and cripples me for a day or two, but then I'll get over it. Used to be, the crippling darkness would hang on for weeks on end. It was pure Hell. I was a total wreck of a human being for a very long time.
Getting older has only been a good thing for me.
No heaven for me. You just lie in a box or get stretched into a million tiny particles of ash, which are either placed in a box or blown simply ever which way. But sentience is gone so what do I care? I literally won't and couldn't. So I'm just happy to walk along and enjoy all this shit while I'm still here. Nothing matters the longer your distance from life is, but everything matters the closer you are to it. And both are correct.
My depression is still with me and I have a feeling it will be for some time, but that acceptance has definitely made it better. I have also become very good at what Spun describes as meta-emotions. I can usually recognize whenever a bad depression is coming over me now and take my best measures to reduce it. It is hardly perfect, and I still go to some pretty awful places, but it's certainly not the crippler it used to be.
In the getting older category, I discovered my first gray hair a few months ago. Just the other day I discovered two more. I'm 22. :(
Uh... I just had one positive thing after another happen to me this week, culminating today, that erased all my previous month's insecurities?
I'm sorry.
Man, I'm so freaking nervous for the Carl Sagan's Ghost show tonight. I can't remember the last time I've felt this nervous about anything! 7.5 hours until lift off....
Break a leg.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Davis
I haven't watched your videos, but I've surfed the web while listening to your albums before. You'll do awesome.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Davis
Best of luck, Daniel!Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Davis
Good luck, Davis!
Thanks guys! My stomach is turning something fierce...
I really hope we get a good performance, and that the live audio is recorded well. We want to release a nicely-edited DVD of it.
You're very talented, Davis. Hope you do great.
Thanks man, I appreciate it.Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisnu
What's the proper live greeting for an ambient show? "Are you ready to sleep? I can't hear you! I said - ARE YOU READY TO SLEEP? Oh, you're already sleeping, good."