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Are you serious? What a sanctimonious asshole. I blame her parents, though. She's brainwashed. This is after about 30 seconds of this grab bag of religious buzzwords.
Whoa. Pentecostal. I totally understand this. She worked herself up into an emotional frenzy.
Oh my gosh! That couldn't have been scripted better.
I would have liked to jump up and shout, "It's okay everybody, she's fine! I just shot her with my tranquilizer Satanic prayer bullets. Once again proving that Lucifer is the One True God, mightier than the Nazareth blasphemer. Praise be upon He, Great Satan."
That light-headedness you're feeling is God's way of telling you to shut the fuck up.
The funny thing about the name Lucifer is that it really isn't attributed to Satan at all. It's based upon a misinterpretation of Isaiah 14, which is actually talking about a Babylonian king. Lucifer was originally in the Latin Vulgate, but made its way into the KJV. The real title is Day Star or Morning Star. So, Christians who refer to Satan as Lucifer, once again, don't know what they're talking about.Quote:
Originally Posted by number8
Lucifer Morningstar is a comic book character.
Man, he makes some really good fake burgers.Quote:
Originally Posted by number8
/FAIL
I have no respect for any person who reads a prepared prayer.
Oh, and Sandra Bullock has a secret baby. My life as a devoted follower of celebrity gossip is now vindicated.
Is it really an adult?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
No, but would that really make the story better?Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Davis
It would be a better story if the baby was an alien. I'm always rooting for alien baby, but I'm generally disappointed.
But surely you will concede that Lucifer and the Morning Star are pretty cool names for an evil being.Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisnu
I blame John Milton.Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisnu
Today, while at the store, I saw a middle-aged Asian man with salt-and-pepper hair. He had a moustache that only grew from the very corners of his mouth, and it was about two inches long, and waxed like Dali. He was also wearing a cowboy hat.
I thought surely I had imagined him, like some kind of mirage of awesome, but I saw him again as I was leaving the store, and he was outside lighting up a corn cob pipe.
CORN. COB. PIPE.
Mara.
I am envious.
Sure. It's cooler than Satan.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead & Messed Up
EDIT: There's two different ways Satan is used in the Hebrew Bible: ha-satan, which means accuser, and satan, which means adversary. English translations of the Old Testament make guesses as to when satan should be turned into the proper name Satan.
I blame John Milton also, Raiders.
I own a corn cob pipe.
It's delicious to smoke from.
I only blame the Pacino version.Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisnu
Best story ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
There are periodic large meetings in our conference room that I ignore, but repeatedly when I have had to use the room once it is over, I have found that someone there was so drenched in cologne that I literally cannot sit in the room. I have to open the windows and doors to try and air it out, and even so the stench will give me a headache.
There is also a random man who occasionally comes in the office, and he always says hi to me and touches me (and we all know how I feel about that.) He'll tug on my hair or put his hand on my shoulder, and once he poked a finger into my side. He says, "Hi!" while he does it and then walks away. I hate it, of course, but he comes and goes so fast that I've never had time to object. Plus, he was so familiar with me that I thought we must have been introduced at some point and that I just forgot him, which embarrassed me.
I figured out this morning that Touchy Man and Cologne Man are the same guy, and that I most assuredly have never been introduced to him. He is now my enemy, and I will dedicate the rest of my life to hurting him.
I'm living the dream. I'm going to start carrying a camera every time I go to that store to try and find him again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Brightside
He sounds like someone I'd like to have a beer with/vote to be president.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
He sounds like someone I'd like to intravenously inject diacetylmorphine with.
Looking for a place to live = my least favorite aspect of life
I much prefer it to looking for a job.Quote:
Originally Posted by Antoine
Hm. There is that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven
Yeah, looking for a job is the WORST.
Looking for an apartment is pretty bad, too. I'm moving in two weeks. Fortunately, I'm inheriting a pretty swell apartment from a friend and another friend is moving to Utah and so I'm gonna room with him and save on rent. Freaking slick.