My high school english teacher was a very british middle-aged englishman who always swore in class. He was my favorite, and taught me the beauty of saying "that's fucking stupid" in an english accent.
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My high school english teacher was a very british middle-aged englishman who always swore in class. He was my favorite, and taught me the beauty of saying "that's fucking stupid" in an english accent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spinal
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Originally Posted by BuffaloWilder
Yeah, my experiences with people, even those in authority like teachers, was much the same as Buffalo's. I've never in my life considered 'crap' a swear word. I've never really even considered it one to think twice about. Instead of 'damn', it's on the same level as 'dang' for me. It's a very safe alternative.
Twice I've "accidentally" been condescending to people with the same remark. I discussed that I saw The Road with someone, and said that it was based on a book, and then asked, "Do you read?"
Incredibly offended these peeps were. Ah well.
So, wow. There's this girl that I've met through a mutual friend a couple times who I really like, who a little over a week ago relayed through another friend that she "thought [I was] cute" and then sent her regards through another friend at these friends of mine's wedding on Sunday, which friend then told me she'd like to hear from me. So now today I have her number, and I'm going to call her either tomorrow or Saturday, but I've never done that before. I've never just "got" a "number" and then gave a girl a call. Most of my friends are just as bad about this as I am. And I'm woefully inexperienced in this area.
Obviously, y'know, she's at least somewhat interested, right? She's initiated this whole thing. So it seems I'm unlikely to call and get a blow-off. But now I'm in the position to move this forward and I'm rather anxious because I haven't been on a date in quite a while, and I'm suddenly conscious of all the things about me--like that I don't have a car--that aren't that classically appealing.
But mostly I'm just nervous about what to do with that call. I mean, I think the main thing is to just call, greet warmly, keep it brief but competent, and then set up a time where we to do something low-pressure like go get a cup of coffee or something? But she doesn't drink coffee, I'm pretty sure.
Um. Anyone have any general tips for me here?
Calm yourself before the phone call by playing some music that usually works to calm you down. Maybe classical or a little jazz to create a nice wavelength for you to get onto, and let that rhythm soak in for a few minutes. Be prepared to maybe pace your apartment or otherwise display your worriedness, but use a glass of water or some sort of drink to keep your lips moist and voice clear. Above all, try to keep yourself calm so that any natural excitement doesn't escalate too far into areas beyond the natural awkwardness of the moment.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sycophant
Best of luck!
There's plenty of other drinks at coffee shops that the setting will still work.
Otherwise, you're dead on with everything else.
Call her. Call her now. Before you can talk yourself out of it.
Cool.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sycophant
I think it's always awkward to call someone out of the blue that hasn't given you a phone number. What I'd do, personally, is pick a specific event that you think she'd like to do, like an outdoor concert or a movie or something. Then, I'd go like this:
"Hey, Mary, this is John from __________. I hope you don't mind me calling you out of the blue like this, but ___________ gave me your number, and there's an outdoor concert this weekend that I thought might interest you." That way you're selling the event instead of yourself, which gives both of you an easy out. If she's not interested, she can say, "Oh, I don't really like outdoor concerts" and it's less crushing.
Alternately, she can say, "I'm really glad you called. I'm not free this weekend, but we should definitely hang out some other time."
Release "tension" before calling or meeting up.
Thanks, everyone! Seems like good advice, all around. I feel really weird about how nervous I've gotten in the last couple hours here. Thought I had this under control and was being all cool.
I'll be giving her a call tomorrow morning/early afternoon when I don't have to run out and do it on my lunch break and can just call from the comfort of my apartment. I'll spend the meantime trying to come up with something to do.
Little worried 'cause next weekend looks a little crowded for me, but this Saturday is just so soon, and she likely already has plans. But calling two weeks in advance sounds kind of insane.
I'm trying to think of an activity or thing that'll just allow us to mostly talk, though. Sitting for two hours next to someone without a lot of conversation that I don't really know all that well but would like to get to know better freaks me out a bit.
Yeah, I never ask girls out for a movie the first few dates.
You'd be surprised at how most people don't have plans, so don't factor that into consideration. I'd also be willing to bet that she'd change plans if a guy she likes wants to do something. Also, she gave her number away, so she'll likely be just as nervous when she hears your voice on the phone, so you won't have to worry about feeling nervous on the phone. After all, she told someone to give you her phone number.
I actually prefer calling girls from work the first time, because then if I hit a dry spot in the conversation (I HATE talking on phones to begin with) I can easily come up with a reason to get going. But since you like her, at the comfort of the house will be fine. Plus, you'll see that once you start getting into the conversation, it isn't so bad after all.
Good luck man, and as 8 said, release the "tension." haha.
Do what most people do. Meet up at a bar.
I was stepping out of the shower today, glancing at myself in the mirror, when I suddenly noticed how I have a rather pronounced farmer's tan. I got it because I walk for a 1/2-hour to work every day, and it's been a pretty sunny summer this year.
Any advice for getting this tan to fade away? I'm going to start wearing long-sleeve t-shirts and sunblock on my way into work. Hopefully over the winter it'll fade even more. It's really ridiculous.
Shirtless!Quote:
Originally Posted by Spun Lepton
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezee E
The last thing I need is to end up a mugshot on The Smoking Gun.
Bleach and a wire brush.
Or, realize that you are, indeed, a Minn-ee-soh-tan, and this shit happens to us all.
Doesn't mean I have to like it!! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Scar
Ugh, dates. I think you're pretty good to go already, but yeah, I can't recommend going to the movies for the first date. Last time I did that was because she wanted to see "that Dark Knight movie". Afterwards she said "that was pretty good. Do you think I should watch that other Batman movie?" :lol:
Sweet girl, though.
Can't really give any date advise, because I suck at dating. I feel so... interviewed. Hate it, and especially if the girl's not interesting. I feel like an asshole if I have to say that I don't want to meet up again. I once played heartbroken from my last relationship, so that she'd accept me not being interested. So pathetic of me, but I saw no other way out. :lol:
I remember this girl I dated waaay back in middle school, speaking of which. She was from New Zealand, and she was maybe four feet tall, at the most. And, she had a permanent cock-eye. Couldn't tell if she was talking to you or the wall. Oh, god - and she had this thing for some band or another, and it was just weird. Ended up with her stabbing me in the thigh with a pencil.
Terrible, terrible memory. Thanks a lot guise.
I have a new sort of tan. The Keen tan - a tan that looks like tiger stripes on my feet, because I wear my Keen sandals all the time when it's warm out.
I have no tan. I am Irish. I look like this:
http://stretchmacgibbon.files.wordpr..._o_connell.jpg
When I am in the sun, I burst into flames. We're a cursed people.
I'm Swedish, Scottish, and Irish. I am a pale blue Minnesotan, except for my forearms, which never tanned so darkly before I attended Burning Man about four years ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by BuffaloWilder
You're mixed. The blood of the Swedes and the Scots negates the Irish that courses through your veins.
From David Cross' biography
http://images.nymag.com/images/2/dai...io_250x375.jpg
Why can't we forget 9/11?