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I'm so bitter, I went out and found a stray cat and force-fed it a box of chocolates. Not the good kinds of chocolates, either, almost exclusively artificial banana nougat. Then I posted the video I made of it to YouTube.
Any time now, that sweet, sweet Internet fame will kick in and I'll be sitting pretty.
EDIT: I've made a huge mistake.
Interesting article about an artist working with VCR errors.
Quote:
"There was a precision and a refinement to that particular glitch style that I've been chasing after in my own work," Johnson says. He's not interested in the total destruction that some glitch artists practice; he sees the glitch as "more a storytelling tool than an aesthetic unto itself." More resolutely, he says he's looking for that "weird balance of destruction and tangibility."
I was slightly bumped by a car while I crossed the road this evening. I was in the pedestrian crosswalk and the driver was turning right, and instead of looking ahead she was looking left for cars and took her foot of the gas, hitting me. I was carrying a tupperware full of beef stew, which I didn't even spill, in my left arm. Unfortunately, my instinct was to brace myself with my right hand, and I ended up sprawled on her hood. I recovered, she looked very shocked, and I finished crossing. A person on the other corner asked me if I was okay, and the lady turned right and drove away.
I was mostly rattled, but figured I was unhurt and delivered the stew (to my sister, whose family is adjusting to the newborn) and came home.
Anyway, now that my adrenaline has gone down I think I maybe really hurt my arm when I... you know, tried to stop an SUV with my hand. It's pretty damn sore.
As a runner, this pisses me off.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
Now my legs are hurting a little. But it's this arm that is going to be a problem. Maybe I should... ice it? Take ibuprofen? This sucks.
Asking for a little professional advice here...
I'll start by saying that I have a very thin skin, and that in itself is something I need to work on as I climb the ladder. I take all criticisms personally, to the point where I will stew about things for days. I am very paranoid about losing my job (due to unfortunate circumstances in past work places), and so any criticism I get also feeds into my paranoia that I am on the chopping block.
Anyways, last week was the first week of our new fiscal year. I am the manager of Appliances, and in that department we have four main measurables that our success is judged on. We ended the week having absolutely demolished 3 out of our 4 measurable targets. I'm talking country topping, company record setting success in the 3, however the 4th we were fairly shy on.
My direct manager was on vacation during this week. However, even though he as on vacation, he took the time to come in and leave a note in my mail box saying "really bad start to the year in ______ (that particular measurable). Better make up for it next week."
To me this is a pretty shitty way of trying to motivate someone to do better. I understand and appreciate that there is always room for improvement, and that if the team missed a target we have to figure out how to make up for that miss. However, completely disregarding the incredible successes we had and coming in on his vacation to leave me a note about the single missed opportunity we had, is just a dick move in my opinion.
So what I am wanting advice on is this - should I approach him on Tuesday when I see him next and tell him that this was not appreciated, and that if we wants to motivate me and the team to do better that is not the way to do it?
Or should I just keep my mouth shut and take it in stride?
I should mention that over the last year our store has been at a company low for employee engagement/workplace satisfaction, and the biggest reason reported by employees is that upper management never, ever celebrates success. All that is ever heard is negative and it's killing morale. So to me this is a prime example of the type of stuff that goes on and is keeping people unhappy at work.
Sorry, buddy, but I would not confront the boss on it. The only situation where I think it would be appropriate to bring it up is if he brings the subject up to you again, asking for more work on the thing. Even then, I'd only suggest responding, "Yes, we need to focus on that. However, I feel very proud that my team did so well on the other three measurables."
Or if he asks you directly why morale is so low, and you could give this as an example.
I would strongly suggest going to a doctor just to be sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
That being said sometimes your body has severe aches and pains after an incident like this, just from the way you tense up when it happens. You might not be injured, just experiencing the pain of everything having seized up and let go in such quick succession.
I had a fairly major car accident in 2012. I had small cuts on my wrists from the way my hands slapped against the steering wheel on impact, but other than that I was uninjured. However my whole body (particularly my limbs) hurt like heck for the better part of a week, just from the shock of the impact.
All my joints are moving freely, so I suspect I'm just banged up. It shouldn't be surprising, I guess, but I felt totally fine right after and really didn't process that I'd been hurt.
@meg Sounds like he's a crummy manager. If I were in your situation I would have a 1 x 1 with him- and ask him to 1) better explain the purpose of the note and 2) in the future address these kinds of messages (unless he was joking?) in person.
@mara Avid yourself up and see how you feel in the morning.
His message is to the point. I figure if you make up for it next week, and the team doesn't receive any recognition, then you can bring it up.
We've been getting those style messages every week for the past month. If you really take offense to it, discuss it in private. I wouldn't take it personally.
I just think retail (and business in general) is just not for me. I'm too emotional, too empathetic, and frankly too nice. I let people walk all over me, then I will smile and ask for more.
Unfortunately that's really the only work that's available without going back to school, which is not possible.
Ugh, just one of those days.
Thank you, everyone, for your replies and advice. It's much appreciated.
I bring up everything with my boss and HR person. I've always found it best to be open, direct, and honest with my managers.
If something is bothering you, bring it up. You sound like an employee who cares, so show this when you bring it up.
Letting that stuff go and keeping it bottled will only make things worse.
There are other jobs out there without going back to school.
I started in the mail room of law office, after working retail for ages, making copies, filing, and getting coffee, and now I'm a paralegal with great benefits, pretty good pay, and 6 weeks paid vacation a year.
Didn't go to school for law or get a certificate or anything.
Sign up with a white collar temp/placement agency. That's how I got my gig.
Yeah meg, I know how you feel. I've had jobs with managers like that. I personally think they just don't understand how their words can make people feel. I used to work for a guy that was a real dick. He would randomly walk up to you and say things like "What is wrong with you?" or "What is your problem?" completely at random. It would make you feel like shit (my coworkers all agreed). Years later after I quit I discovered he genuinely was asking if there were any issues he could help with...he was just terrible at communicating.
My advice is to let it slide this time. No biggie if its very occasional. If its a constant, quit. You don't need to work for a company that employs such people. There are companies out there that truly understand how to communicate and have common sense in dealing with people. One of the biggest reasons I've been with my company since 2000 is I have the best boss in the world. No matter how bad you screw up he will hear you out, not scream at you or belittle you, and work with you to make it right and progress everyone forward. People with an attitude do not last long at my company. My boss stands for no bullshit.
I haven't been nervous about my upcoming nuptials so far. Today, there's 6 days until the wedding and suddenly, all the nervousness and trepidation I had not been experiencing has landed on me like a rockslide.
Deep breaths, right? Any other advice?
Remind yourself that EVERYone feels the same way in your position, and charge onward! :)
I had a very busy day. I dealt with a frozen pipe, and cleaned my whole house, bought a car, bought a fridge, bemoaned my lack of money, and was generally productive.
Then, at nine p.m., got an e-mail making it clear that today was not a holiday for me and I was supposed to be at work.
Uh... oops?
Luckily the rumor that we had today off was widespread and a number of people didn't come in today. Also, those who did come in were evacuated at noon because a pipe burst in the ceiling. (Also, apparently a pipe burst and flooded my church, too. Maryland was not built for this kind of cold.) So I don't think I'll be fired or anything, but I may have to come in on a weekend or something and make up the hours.
Still feel pretty embarrassed, though.
Question: is your nervousness and trepidation about the wedding, or about marriage? Either way it's normal at this point. I'm just curious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fezzik
I think some of it honestly comes from the fact that I can't tell if its about the wedding or the marriage. Does that make sense?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
Like, I get nervous. But then I sit here and wonder why. And then I'm in panic mode thinking "oh God! Does this mean I don't want to get married or is the wedding itself making me a nervous wreck?" and it just spirals.
Actually, I think that's probably a good sign. If there was a specific thing you were worried about, then that might indicate a specific problem. Generalized anxiety like you're describing is most likely just an emotional hurricane from all the stress. Is there anything you can do that's really absorbing and will help you turn your brain off so it doesn't spiral? Play a video game? Get a massage? Go for a run? Whatever works for you.
And are you getting enough sleep? Consider a couple nights with a sleep aid if not. Getting rested will make everything feel less overwhelming.
I think I'm going for a brisk walk at lunch. That will probably do wonders. As for sleep, I get to bed at a decent hour, but its clear I'm not sleeping well. I have been waking up in odd positions so I've been tossing and turning quite a bit. No joke, I think the remedy for that is some alcohol before bed. I'll try tonight.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara
Thanks. Just talking about it helps :)
WTF. It's 60 degrees in Seattle DD?
It's so cold here my house has lost the ability to adequately heat the first floor. It's an old house built for more moderate winters. I have the heaters turned all the way up and my first floor is maybe 50 degrees at night. I'm running a space heater in the laundry room to keep the pipes from freezing.
Second floor is warm and cozy though.