This Movie Stinks!

[DFA1979]

Thread to be abandoned later. Anyways I've got a top 100 list of the worst movies I've ever seen. I could have kept going, too-man I've watched too much crap. Someone said that I like too many movies, so back in 2020 I made a list of awful films I watched. Can't remember if I posted the list, so here we are and I'll probably update it later when I finally give in and become less selective at going to the movie theater just to satisfy someone online I never met. Let's goooo!

[DFA1979]

100. The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961, Coleman Francis)


https://youtu.be/BsdB9K9k22c

I actually have seen this turkey I mean movie twice. Once on my local community college cable channel, the second via MSTK3 on Netflix when they still had the rights. Poor Tor Johnson never had much of a film career but he still gave 100% in every B movie he was ever in. He's good in this film as a scientist turned into a raging monster. In fact he's probably one of the few good things about this crappy low budget movie.

Sometimes a picture actually needs money. I don't know if money would have fixed this movie. Probably not. If I recall the MST3K jokes for this flick were pretty good, though. If someone wanted to remake this movie as a warning against nuclear power or as a gore filled slasher movie, go for it I guess. The material is pretty thin.

[Skitch]

Good lord that movie stinks!

[Spun Lepton]

Anything Coleman Francis touched turned to crap.

[DFA1979]

I had to Google who he was ha ha.

[DFA1979]

99. Men In Black II (2002, Barry Sonnenfeld)


https://youtu.be/p4NJHqoojOU

I liked this movie's cast. I like Sonnenfeld as a director. I actually enjoy the series-yes even the last one, which was kind of disappointing yet still enjoyable enough. So the second film is a huge and puzzling misfire amongst a pretty good/solid franchise. I'm not sure what went wrong here yet MIBII sucks. It's a good example of how Hollywood often fucks up sequels and forgers what made the first movie so good in the beginning.

Perhaps it can be linked to Barry having a creative slump that began with Wild Wild West. More on that later. Looking at his career he started to do more TV by this point so perhaps he was distracted a lot. I forgive him for this movie though since MIB 3 was good and he gave us Pushing Daisies. I'm really glad I didn't make my dad take me to see this. Woof.

[DFA1979]

98. Troll 2 (1990, Claudio Fragasso)


https://youtu.be/CkNB0w1fYKk

I have a found memory of watching this movie in the Yahoo GD chat room with people riffing on how bad the movie was. The jokes literally write themselves for Troll 2. I mean this film has some of the dumbest lines I've ever heard in my entire life. I still can't believe this movie exists-sometimes I think it was made up as a fake movie that someone else watches in a horror movie. I should probably move this higher up the list and yet I'm still laughing at some of the scenes that happened.

The creepy ghost grandpa is my favorite thing about Troll 2. If you ever want to make a movie and you're not sure you can or should, remember this movie exists and go for your dreams. It can't be worse than Troll 2.


https://youtu.be/HyophYBP_w4

[Skitch]

99: stink
98: obviously stinks, but was impossible for me to not laugh hysterically the entire time

[Mysterious Dude]

Grampaw!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG053vF_OYY

[Spun Lepton]

Troll 2 is the standard by which all other so-bad-they're-good movies are judged. You can't piss on hospitality.

[DFA1979]

99: stink
98: obviously stinks, but was impossible for me to not laugh hysterically the entire time

That is true. I actually haven't gotten to the ones I truly loathe yet, that comes much later.

[DFA1979]

Grampaw!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG053vF_OYY

That is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

[DFA1979]

Troll 2 is the standard by which all other so-bad-they're-good movies are judged. You can't piss on hospitality.

Facts ha ha.

BTW there are a few movies I've seen since 2020 that would qualify for the list. I can always update years later. One of them is Things, which I gave a 1/100 only because the soundtrack wasn't half bad. I sat through it for Joe Bob Briggs.

[Skitch]

Oh there's a number 1

[DFA1979]

Things isn't low budget. It's more like zero budget filmmaking ha ha.

[DFA1979]

97. Pocahontas (1995, Eric Goldberg, Mike Gabriel)


https://youtu.be/5iB82S8rHyg

My family dragged me to Pocahontas because my younger sister who's now the middle child wanted to see it. I don't really care for musicals a whole lot so that was strike one. Even as a kid I had a feeling the whole movie was bullshit, so that was strike two. Strike three was having a movie based on a real person include cute lame animals so strike three. You're out, movie. I don't loathe this film but it's pretty depressing that it doesn't even try to stay true to her actual story.

Look I know you shouldn't get any history lessons from Hollywood or kids movies yet one can still expect them to at least try. This movie doesn't do that very much although the songs were good at least. I'd rather just view Mulan again instead.

[Skitch]

Even ignoring all history, that movie sucks.

[DFA1979]

At least we have The New World which on reflection is a great flick and I should probably bump up my rating for that one.

[Skitch]

At least we have The New World which on reflection is a great flick and I should probably bump up my rating for that one.

Oh don't make me watch that again :p

[StuSmallz]

98. Troll 2 (1990, Claudio Fragasso)


https://youtu.be/CkNB0w1fYKk

I have a found memory of watching this movie in the Yahoo GD chat room with people riffing on how bad the movie was.Heh, I remember being there; during the scene with all the roaming close-ups of the troll-people's faces, one guy said that it was "like a Sergio Leone (https://letterboxd.com/stusmallz/tag/leone/reviews/) movie with less Mexicans"; aw, memories...

[DFA1979]

Oh don't make me watch that again :p

Well I've only seen it once since it's almost 3 hours.

[DFA1979]

Heh, I remember being there; during the scene with all the roaming close-ups of the troll-people's faces, one guy said that it was "like a Sergio Leone (https://letterboxd.com/stusmallz/tag/leone/reviews/) movie with less Mexicans"; aw, memories...

That's pretty funny.

[Philip J. Fry]

I respect Pocahontas craft, but yeah, the story and tone just don't work that much. It's probably the least rewatchable 90's Disney movie.

[DFA1979]

I'm not a big fan of Aladdin or Hercules when it comes to 90s Disney. Some of their stuff just doesn't work for me.

[Yxklyx]

... I sat through it for Joe Bob Briggs.


How Rednecks Saved Hollywood was insightful.

[megladon8]

Colours of the Wind (?) is a nice song and pretty much all Pocahontas has to offer.

[DFA1979]

How Rednecks Saved Hollywood was insightful.

I hear that show is awesome. I would love to go see it live one of these days.

[DFA1979]

Colours of the Wind (?) is a nice song and pretty much all Pocahontas has to offer.

Yeah that song was good. I guess. Bah!

[Philip J. Fry]

I'm not a big fan of Aladdin or Hercules when it comes to 90s Disney. Some of their stuff just doesn't work for me.Hercules is mostly weak, yeah. Hades is it's biggest saving grace.

[Skitch]

I adore Aladdin. Probably my top ten Disney, but that's me. Everyone loves Lion King and I think it's a piece of shit so what do I know? Like what ya like

Hercules I was meh on but its one of my wife's favs so I've watched it a few more times and it's okay

[Peng]

My ranking 90s Disney Animated Films (of the ones I have seen, of course):

4/5
1. Beauty and the Beast
2. Mulan
3. The Lion King

3.5/5
4. Pocahontas
5. Aladdin
6. Fantasia 2000

3/5
7. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
8. Tarzan
9. Hercules

Most of these I haven't seen since being kid and/or teen though.

[Skitch]

Roughly

1. the rescuers down under

in no order...

pinocchio
alice in wonderland
peter pan
sleeping beauty
the sword in the stone
robin hood
the rescuers
the black cauldron
aladdin

[Philip J. Fry]

10. Pocahontas
9. Hercules
8. Tarzan
7. Aladdin
6. The Hunchback of Notre Dame
5. Mulan
4. A Goofy Movie
3. The Rescuers Down Under
2. Beauty and the Beast
1. The Lion King

[DFA1979]

I haven't seen Fantasia 2000, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, A Goofy Movie or Tarzan yet from the 90s Disney era. The only major old school Disney flicks I haven't viewed so far have been Alice In Wonderland and The Black Cauldron.

[Skitch]

The only major old school Disney flicks I haven't viewed so far have been Alice In Wonderland and The Black Cauldron.
Two of my favs from that era. Especially Alice, I love it.

[DFA1979]

96. Jason X (2002, Jim Isaac)


https://youtu.be/Ka8QJjfpw1w

Look I love the Friday the 13th series but it went to crap after the series was sold off. Jason Goes To Hell sucks too, but not as bad as Jason X aka Jason in Space. I like space horror yet this is really badly done space horror. The jokes aren't enough to save this huge pile of crap movie that lacks the fun and the charm of the 1980s entries. Honestly I didn't mind the remake-it was at least better made than this movie.

I don't remember any of the characters and I liked the ending, largely cause it was actually cool yet also because it meant the movie was over. I don't hate this flick enough to give it a 0 rating but I've often thought about giving it one anyways. Thankfully Freddy vs Jason gave the franchise a breath of fresh air. I'm convinced they only made this one to keep the rights.

[StuSmallz]

You didn't happen to catch this article when it was posted earlier, did you DFA?: https://www.avclub.com/jason-x-anniversary-todd-farmer-friday-13th-voorhees-1848888021

[DFA1979]

No also I forgot AvClub exists, honestly.

[DFA1979]

95. Bride of the Monster (1955, Ed Wood)


https://youtu.be/KDXqJu7jC0c

"He tampered in God's domain". That's way too neat of a line for this turkey which despite a goofy fun octopus related fight near the end is just another Ed Wood craptastic release that the MST3K people would have a field day with. This movie isn't low budget, it's almost zero budget, and Wood convinced Bela Lugosi and Tor Johnson to appear in this mess of a movie. I guess both needed work. I'm not sure if Ed Wood is the worst director of all time but he's definitely on that list at least.

There is a bit of effort attempted here that can be admired I suppose, yet I must confess I saw this movie back in my 20s and thus it's been a while. I do wonder along with others if Wood had been given actual screenwriters and larger budgets what he may have been able to achieve. Oh well.

[DFA1979]

94. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992, Chris Columbus


https://youtu.be/5h9VDUNtoto

Despite what folks want you to believe, the first Home Alone from my experience is the only good one in the series. The rest suck although 3 had it's moments. Lost in New York features Donald Trump in a cameo and that's not even the worst thing about this movie. The once decent at least Kevin is turned into a murderous criminal in this movie, forced to kill the Wet Bandits before they murder him. This is supposed to be a kids movie? Seriously?

Kevin commits credit card fraud, embarrasses and humiliates the staff at the hotel who were just trying to help him and stop him, and then proceeds to vandalize a toy store window. Sure he did it to stop a robbery yet he could have just gone to the police. Had he done so this movie would have been very short, and we can't have that. He even drags a poor local bird woman into his mess and almost gets her killed by the criminals chasing him.

This movie isn't very funny and just reuses jokes from the first movie. The only difference here is that Kevin is in NYC, and that he openly tries to kill the Wet Bandits this time. Is Kevin really a younger version of Jigsaw from the Saw series? Sure, why not? This movie is an example of why sometimes sequels are a bad idea.