The Official "What the F!" Thread

[Benny Profane]

Not really "news", not really politics, not really anything other than crazy shit happening in the world.



I've heard of parents fighting over their kids about school, religion, sports or their child’s friends but this....



Parents Fight Over Which Gang Toddler Should Join
Police: Mother A Crip, Father A Westside Baller

COMMERCE CITY, Colo. -- A couple fighting about which gang their 4-year-old toddler should join caused a public disturbance that resulted in the father's arrest, Commerce City police said Thursday.

On Saturday, Joseph Manzanares stormed into the Hollywood Video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her and knocked over several video displays and even a computer, Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval said.

After he ran out of the store, police were called and the 19-year-old was arrested at his home.

His girlfriend told police that they had been arguing about the upbringing of their son and which gang he should belong to. The teen mother, who is black, is a member of the Crips. Manzanares is Hispanic and belongs to the Westside Ballers gang, the woman said.

"They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised. Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim,'" Sandoval said.
Manzanares was charged with disorderly conduct, harassment, and domestic violence. He was transported to the Adams County Detention Facility.

On Tuesday, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and was sentenced to a year of probation. The misdemeanor harassment charge was dropped.


What's a gang member doing working at Hollywood Video? I thought the whole point of being in a gang was to stay home, sell drugs, and commit the occasional robbery/homicide. Not telling customers that their copy of the "The Notebook" is 3 days past due.

What the F!

[Russ]

That's F'ed up.

[Benny Profane]

House of Horror Children Never Saw Daylight (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/04/28/austria.cellar/index.html)


Mr. F. lived upstairs with his wife, Rosemarie F., who police said had no idea about her husband's other family living in the cellar. The couple adopted three of the children that Mr. F. had with his daughter, according to police. He told his wife that his missing daughter had dropped the unwanted children off at the house because she could not take care of them, police said.

Just sick on every level. Un-freaking-believable.

[shaun]

with his wife, Rosemarie F., who police said had no idea about her husband's other family living in the cellar.Horseshit. Just the logistics and everyday activities involved in keeping 4 people alive and relatively healthy in your cellar for 24 years would raise suspicion in any non-retarded or comatose person.

She's just as culpable.

[Winston*]

What is it with Austrians and locking women in basements?

[Ezee E]

What is it with Austrians and locking women in basements?
I thought that was common.

[Benny Profane]

We the people paid over $100 million in taxes to cover the losses incurred by the treasury department stamping pennies and nickels for poor retards who still use them. (http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/05/06/coin.inflation.ap/index.html)

[rocus]

Yeah, I've been saying for years we need to at least get rid of pennies.

[Benny Profane]

HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- Three teenagers were arrested after two of them told police they dug up a secluded grave north of Houston, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a marijuana bong.

Police found a grave in the city of Humble that had been disturbed, but were still investigating the rest of the teens' story, Houston police Sgt. John Chomiak said.

Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, were arrested Wednesday night and were being held on misdemeanor charges of abuse of a corpse, Chomiak said. The juvenile was referred to the Harris County juvenile justice system.

A woman who answered the phone at Gonzalez's home declined comment. A telephone number for Jones could not immediately be found, and it wasn't clear from court records if either had an attorney.

Police were interviewing Jones about the use of a stolen debit card when he told them about the grave theft, which purportedly occurred around March 15, according to court documents. Asked why Jones would volunteer such a story, Chomiak said, "We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind."

Gonzalez confirmed the story to investigators in a follow-up interview. Police were led to a heavily wooded site in Humble where they found a knocked-over headstone and water-filled hole more than 4 feet deep. At the time, the muddy water did not allow police to see if the coffin had been disturbed.

"They dug into this gravesite and that was enough to warrant the abuse of corpse charge," Chomiak said. "There has to be further investigation into the actual gravesite."

Police believe the grave is that of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921. Preliminary reports indicate it was part of a 19th-century veterans cemetery, Chomiak said. While residents in the area knew of the cemetery's existence, it did not appear to be maintained.



OK seriously...WTF!

[shaun]

13 Year Old Steals Dad's Credit Card to Buy Hookers

http://www.money.co.uk/article/1000390-13-year-old-steals-dads-credit-card-to-buy-hookers.htm

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a "World of Warcraft" tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played "Halo" on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph's ambition is to one day become a politician.

This kid is pretty much my hero.

[Benny Profane]

Apparently, U.S. Paper Currency Discriminates Against the Blind (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/20/washington/20cnd-money.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin)




If they want to see how much money they have they shouldn't be blind. That's my take on it.

[Sycophant]

“And their numbers are increasing,” he said.
OMINOUS!

Makes enough sense to me. Maybe we'll see the end of dollar bills now?

[chrisnu]

House of Horror Children Never Saw Daylight (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/04/28/austria.cellar/index.html)



Just sick on every level. Un-freaking-believable.
How about this caption under one of the pictures:


The suspect confessed to burning the dead body of one of the children he allegedly fathered in an oven in the house, police said.

[Barty]

Creepiest thing ever?

http://vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/7195

[lemon]

Creepiest thing ever?

http://vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/7195

They showed this at my middle school for health class.

[Saya]

Creepiest thing ever?

I'll raise you a Giving birth to yourself suit (http://www.made-in-england.org/692) (NSFW I guess).

This is also one of those WTF moments (NSFW kinda): Flying penis disrupts Kasparov' speech (http://www.sharenator.com/Flying_penis/)

[Benny Profane]

Fifth Severed Foot Found off Canadian Coast in 11 months (http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/17/canada.feet/index.html)

Creepy.

[Benny Profane]

The economy's so bad, these women have had to cut back on groceries (near the end) and may starve to death. (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92592545)


Sad, but hilarious. I particularly liked:


Nunez, 40, has never worked and has no high school degree. She says a car accident 17 years ago left her depressed and disabled, incapable of getting a job.

This damn economy is making it really hard on people who haven't worked in their entire 40 years of existence.

Where are the high paying jobs for morbidly overweight 40 year olds with a 6th grade education and a completely blank resume?

[shaun]

The economy's so bad, these women have had to cut back on groceries (near the end) and may starve to death.It would appear from their picture that they've resorted to eating small neighborhood cars. Terribly sad.

[Ezee E]

The economy's so bad, these women have had to cut back on groceries (near the end) and may starve to death. (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92592545)


Sad, but hilarious. I particularly liked:



This damn economy is making it really hard on people who haven't worked in their entire 40 years of existence.

Where are the high paying jobs for morbidly overweight 40 year olds with a 6th grade education and a completely blank resume?
Hilarious.

[Skitch]

This damn economy is making it really hard on people who haven't worked in their entire 40 years of existence.

Where are the high paying jobs for morbidly overweight 40 year olds with a 6th grade education and a completely blank resume?

D.C.?

[D_Davis]

Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K



http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?baby ID=h33-440

[Russ]

Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K



http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?baby ID=h33-440

Talulah Does The Hula From Hawaii (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080724/ap_on_re_au_an/new_zealand_bizarre_names)

[D_Davis]

Talulah Does The Hula From Hawaii (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080724/ap_on_re_au_an/new_zealand_bizarre_names)

Ha!

The thread on Fark regarding Talulah is where I found the one I posted.

Awesome.

[shaun]

Man attempts to bet weed at casino, fails...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s31YQAJN7ac

He pulled some back though so 1oz was over the max table stakes obv.

[Benny Profane]

I don't even know what to say about this moron (http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/080308/met_312931891.shtml)

[Benny Profane]

China Pulls a Milli Vanilli for the Opening Ceremonies (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/08/12/olympic.ceremony.lip.synche.ap/index.html)



How would you feel if you decided to not drown your daughter at birth and she repays you with crooked teeth 7 years later?

That's how you thank them, little girl?

Un-fucking-real.

[origami_mustache]

King penguin receives Norwegian knighthood

http://ap.google.com/media/ALeqM5h85T8TNCjXLKtYygC8UUJO1F vPLA?size=m

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5gQtswIhRynLJETfc1SJbeEYk vrPwD92IOE2G0

[origami_mustache]

people playing chess on roller coasters (http://xkcd.com/chesscoaster/)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/chesscoaster/scanned_chesscoaster_550.jpg

hahaha so awesome

[bac0n]

My friends & I used to plan out our poses for the cameras on the roller coasters. We came up with some good ones tho I think my favorite was the pose we did where we were strangling each other as the people in rear seats of our car read the newspaper.

[Sven]

Uh-oh! (http://www.artinfo.com/news/story/28279/mccarthy-dogshit-work-wreaks-havoc-in-switzerland/)

[Mysterious Dude]

Uh-oh! (http://www.artinfo.com/news/story/28279/mccarthy-dogshit-work-wreaks-havoc-in-switzerland/)
Art is dead.

[origami_mustache]

heroin addicted elephant goes clean (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2681519/Heroin-addicted-elephant-clean-after-rehab.html)

[shaun]

Corpse Kept Upright for 3-Day Wake (http://news.aol.com/article/corpse-kept-upright-for-3-day-wake/140572)

Gross.

[Yxklyx]

Creepy Baby Tower (http://deputy-dog.com/2008/07/17/ever-seen-a-creepier-tower/)

scroll down, but slowly...


WARNING: MAY GIVE NIGHTMARES

[chrisnu]

Creepy Baby Tower (http://deputy-dog.com/2008/07/17/ever-seen-a-creepier-tower/)

scroll down, but slowly...


WARNING: MAY GIVE NIGHTMARES
This is how big those... THINGS are:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lsuknight/Prague#5081113111237182290

*runs away screaming*

[Benny Profane]

Slovakia routs Bulgaria 82 - 0 in women's Olympic qualifying hockey (http://www.sportsline.com/nhl/story/10969249)

"Bulgaria was eliminated after scoring one goal and giving up 192 in the tournament. "




And y'all thought the Pats ran up the score.

[bac0n]

Slovakia routs Bulgaria 82 - 0 in women's Olympic qualifying hockey (http://www.sportsline.com/nhl/story/10969249)

"Bulgaria was eliminated after scoring one goal and giving up 192 in the tournament. "

Apparently no-one ever told the goalie that you're supposed to stand in front of the goal.

[Ezee E]

Those type of wins create wars.

[Kurosawa Fan]

Slovakia routs Bulgaria 82 - 0 in women's Olympic qualifying hockey (http://www.sportsline.com/nhl/story/10969249)

"Bulgaria was eliminated after scoring one goal and giving up 192 in the tournament. "


I saw this the other day, and the first thought that crossed my mind was "did Bulgaria even know how to skate?" I really don't think they did. How else could Slovakia score one goal every 44 seconds. It's just not possible.

[Duncan]

I'm not sure I've ever heard of a team getting 82 shots in a 60 minute game, let alone 82 goals. That's absurd.

[Raiders]

I read today that Bulgaria is looking to bring in their back-up goalie for their next game, the Rick-O-Shay:

http://www.canwoodco.ca/Quickstart/ImageLib/Rick_in_Net.jpg

[Duncan]

I read today that Bulgaria is looking to bring in their back-up goalie for their next game, the Rick-O-Shay:

http://www.canwoodco.ca/Quickstart/ImageLib/Rick_in_Net.jpg

I'd be willing to be that this thing would best the 0.41 save % their actualy goalie put up.

[Derek]

I read today that Bulgaria is looking to bring in their back-up goalie for their next game, the Rick-O-Shay:

http://www.canwoodco.ca/Quickstart/ImageLib/Rick_in_Net.jpg

Quick question. Why the hole in the goalies glove? Any reason you'd want to practice shooting towards the one place you're almost guaranteed to get neither a goal or rebound?

Actually, it makes sense. That's clearly the Bulgarian model.

[Raiders]

Quick question. Why the hole in the goalies glove? Any reason you'd want to practice shooting towards the one place you're almost guaranteed to get neither a goal or rebound?

Actually, it makes sense. That's clearly the Bulgarian model.

It is a hole into a smaller net (like a glove). As you state, there would be no rebound, so the thing gives you the disgrace of walking up to Rick and pulling the puck out of the glove.

[Duncan]

Quick question. Why the hole in the goalies glove? Any reason you'd want to practice shooting towards the one place you're almost guaranteed to get neither a goal or rebound?

Actually, it makes sense. That's clearly the Bulgarian model.
If you look closely you can tell that part is meshed. It's an upscale version of the shooter-tutor's that I used growing up.

[bac0n]

Quick question. Why the hole in the goalies glove? Any reason you'd want to practice shooting towards the one place you're almost guaranteed to get neither a goal or rebound?

Actually, it makes sense. That's clearly the Bulgarian model.

Because if you're a guy like Al MacGinnis who had a wicked slapshot that was known to break the wrists of goalies who caught the pucks he blasted at them, clearly that's where you wanna put the puck if you aim to take out the goalie of the opposing team.

[bac0n]

Too... much... irony... losing... consciousness... (http://www.boingboing.net/2006/10/04/man-demands-that-boo.html)

:frustrated:

[Lasse]

Too... much... irony... losing... consciousness... (http://www.boingboing.net/2006/10/04/man-demands-that-boo.html)

:frustrated:

I laughed. :lol:

... which I guess is not what I was supoposed to do.

[Kurosawa Fan]

Hilarious (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap_on_re_eu/eu_france_sarkozy_voodoo_doll)

[Lasse]

Hilarious (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap_on_re_eu/eu_france_sarkozy_voodoo_doll)

Haha... that's so idiotic. :lol:

[Watashi]

http://www.destructoid.com/mega-man-period-blood-the-most-disturbed-fan-art-ever-113317.phtml

There are no words.

[Spinal]

Orgasms during childbirth? (http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/11/orgasms-during-childbirth/?hp)

:|

[Sven]

Newborn brain surgery discovery... what the f?! (http://www.gazette.com/articles/brain_44861___article.html/sam_doctor.html)

Be sure to look at the picture.

[Yxklyx]

Hilarious (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081128/ap_on_re_eu/eu_france_sarkozy_voodoo_doll)

It's ok to carefully take a match to it right?

[Sycophant]

Newborn brain surgery discovery... what the f?! (http://www.gazette.com/articles/brain_44861___article.html/sam_doctor.html)

Be sure to look at the picture.
...

But not if you've eaten recently.

:eek:

[Benny Profane]

Man shoots a guy in a movie theatre for talking, sits back down and watches the movie. (http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/36752274.html)



This guy's a snapperhead but I can sympathize with his motivation. That theatre is the worst.