Dark Phoenix (Simon Kinberg)

[Stay Puft]

DARK PHOENIX
Dir. Simon Kinberg

https://i.imgur.com/uS37ccG.jpg

IMDb page (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6565702/)

[Stay Puft]

...am I the first one here to see this?

LOL

[Ivan Drago]

Nope. To no one's surprise, it sucked.

Kinberg is clearly putting in effort to make a good first movie because every scene does feel big and dramatic in tone, and although his direction is visually novice, he's doing what he can to add weight to this retelling of the iconic story. Also, McAvoy, Fassbender and Turner put in good performances from the script they were given, but the rest of the cast phoned in their work, the script is full of flat dialogue that kills every attempt at quiet character moments, the VFX were uneven, and the pacing is lifeless. Fitting for the last film in this dying franchise from a dying studio.

[Stay Puft]

The exposition was wild to me. Like usually I don't even let it bother me, but e.g. Xavier has to explain what Cerebro is and talk his way through it like this isn't the 12 installment in this franchise. Who's even watching this shit anymore. Who is this movie for.

They re-shot the ending because they didn't want to draw comparisons to Captain Marvel; somehow, it's the best part of the movie. Like, far and away the best part. None of the action before that is even any good.

[Milky Joe]

Yeah I saw it. I also saw there wasn't a thread for it and didn't bother to make one. It wasn't good.

[Lazlo]

I LIKED IT

[Skitch]

I will probably like it.

[Milky Joe]

I mean, I liked Apocalypse, so I thought the same thing here, but it just wasn't happening.

[Skitch]

I mean, I liked Apocalypse, so I thought the same thing here, but it just wasn't happening.

Ah. Maybe its 5050 with me then.

[TGM]

I'm in the same boat. Figured I'd like it, as I've ultimately liked all the others ones, despite some of them being pretty damn flawed. But nah, this one just really doesn't work at all. It's just such a... nothing movie.

[Milky Joe]

As far as I am concerned, the Fox X-Men continuity died at that grave in Logan.

[TGM]

It’s also pretty sad how the cast has all clearly tapped out by this point. Even Fassbender is totally sleepwalking through this film. The only one who appears to be making ANY attempt to make SOMETHING out if this movie is McAvoy, but even he can’t pull it all off alone.

Compare that to Logan, where everyone was giving it their all to put out the best possible product. Yeah, I’d say they were definitely better off just ending things there.

[Dukefrukem]

This is now a bigger bomb than Fantastic 4.

[Dukefrukem]

Despite all the negative press, this actually has a very decent, respectable coherent opening (continuity and laws of physics aside). The story begins as, apparently, word got out about the mutant involvement with defeating Apocalypse from the last film, and the President of the United States has a direct line to Charles Xavier, whom he can call to help with any national security events. X-Men are called to go into space to save some astronauts where they encounter the Phoenix Force; A great 90s throwback.

The movie is even self aware, poking fun at the costumes and sexist "X-Men" name, suggesting the team should be called "X-Women". That's all fine.

It's about 25 later where things start falling of the rails when the Jessica Chastain "villain" is introduced and all of the dialog between the characters is sketchy and boilerplate. The Jean freakout scene and aftermath is probably where the dialog becomes the worst... although it's desperately trying to find a conflict.

Feels like Jennifer Lawrence didn't want to be there, as represented in both dialog, cheap quick face makeup and subsequent first act death (which was spoiled in the trailers). We are half way through the film, and still do not understand what Jessica Chastain's motivation is, or what is the Phoenix Force.

There is a hilarous MCU acronym plastered on the sleeve of a combat team, which also conveniently defines the acronym directly underneath as: "Mutant Control Unit". What's the point of putting an acronym on your sleeve if you're going to spell out the whole phrase?

The finale is a giant mutant mess killing Groot-lookin' baddies we know nothing to save people we barely care about, which is a fitting end to the Fox / X-Men franchise. They reshot the ending apparently; so we get a terrible voice over narration from Jean describing ' "a new beginning" alluding to Disney's purchase of Fox probably. What happened to Quicksilver? Did the franchise realize he saved the world in the last two films and decided to just keep him out of the movie entirely? Well they also forgot he was the best thing abut Days of Future Past and Apocalypse so subsequently there is literally no redeeming scene worth watching in this film other than bits and pieces of Magneto finally using his powers the way we wanted Wolverine to use his... with purpose, anger and violence.

[Irish]

That sounds awful. But your review makes me want to see it.

[Dukefrukem]

That sounds awful. But your review makes me want to see it.

It's the most generic villain plot to which Fox for some reason made the shape-shifting villains, all look like Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, who are indestructible aliens.. except when they are not.

And I think one of the writers of the film is commenting on my Letterboxd review. Or at least someone on the creative team.

[Wryan]

I actually liked it better than I thought I would. Whenever the movie is hectoring Charles for being a domineering egomaniac who didn't let Jean deal with her trauma in the right way, it's really good--terrific even. The train finale is super genuinely good. Like one of the best X-men setpieces of any of the movies, or at least up there. And then the glitchy, splashy cgi mess of a confrontation right after it is a little too much, but ah well. There are too many shortcuts in some ways (when did Jean and Raven become buds all of a sudden?) and too much exposition in other places (at some point, I think we hit three or four separate occurrences of Charles telling us Jean has Grown Too Powerful Even for Him.). I think just about the only thing that worked in X3 was Famke Janssen, who brought everything to it. I know the makeup on Chastain is supposed to be off-putting, but she looked inbred. I was giggling whenever she was onscreen (tho I thought she did what she could with what she had).

[Grouchy]

I can't believe I voted Yay but it was the correct way to answer the poll question. This was surprisingly decent if you can get past all the awful dialogue and exposition. The action was very well shot, like usually they just phone it in at this point. And my expectations being so low after Apocalypse probably have a lot to do with it but I had a good time.

[MadMan]

I forgot this existed, and I never saw it.

[Dukefrukem]

I LOLed at the bit about Storm letting it rain during a funeral


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEj9r3KDBSI

[Peng]

Magneto's "I had a change of heart" >> any character if they happen to feature in any pivotal plot turn in this. Fassbender elevates his material as always and the climatic train set-piece is quite good though. 5/10

[Skitch]

Passable entertainment. Can we agree they should bury the Phoenix saga until they're ready to go all the way with it? I hate these half-assed interpretations. Wild how on the train they at one point shrugged and said "fuck it, lets just kill the dick outta everyone."

[Irish]

Passable entertainment. Can we agree they should bury the Phoenix saga until they're ready to go all the way with it? I hate these half-assed interpretations. Wild how on the train they at one point shrugged and said "fuck it, lets just kill the dick outta everyone."

I read the original story as a kid, completely without context, somebody handing me a trade paperback. I didn't know anything about the X-Men or their world, and it still worked beautifully. I can only imagine the impact for a regular reader.

But on screen, I don't think it works. Maybe they could do it as a mini-series. Maybe. But at the movies, "Phoenix" is a franchise killer. They've already attempted it twice and both times it sucked ass, wasted everyone's time and a helluva lot of money.

Hollywood is obstinate and dumb, but I'm not sure they're so obstinate and dumb they'd go back a third time.

[Skitch]

I read the original story as a kid, completely without context, somebody handing me a trade paperback. I didn't know anything about the X-Men or their world, and it still worked beautifully. I can only imagine the impact for a regular reader.

But on screen, I don't think it works. Maybe they could do it as a mini-series. Maybe. But at the movies, "Phoenix" is a franchise killer. They've already attempted it twice and both times it sucked ass, wasted everyone's time and a helluva lot of money.

Hollywood is obstinate and dumb, but I'm not sure they're so obstinate and dumb they'd go back a third time.

I totally agree and I'm NOT advocating for them to ever even try again. Just if you do, do it like the damn book.

[Ezee E]

Yeah. I think it's a pretty complex story to do it right in two hours.

I think something like Mutant Massacre would do well onscreen.