Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (Bayona, 2018)

[transmogrifier]

http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/jurassic-world-fallen-kingdom-poster-391x600.jpg

[transmogrifier]

This was a movie. It had a start, a middle, and an end. It had some protagonists and antagonists. It had a score, and some acting, and the scenes were edited together using professional editing software. There were some special effects as well. It was directed by J.A Bayona. It will make money. We will be back in 2-3 years from now to do it all over again.

[TGM]

Nah, I'm good.

[Dukefrukem]

This was a movie. It had a start, a middle, and an end. It had some protagonists and antagonists. It had a score, and some acting, and the scenes were edited together using professional editing software. There were some special effects as well. It was directed by J.A Bayona. It will make money. We will be back in 2-3 years from now to do it all over again.

Best review ever.

[Dead & Messed Up]

This was a movie. It had a start, a middle, and an end. It had some protagonists and antagonists. It had a score, and some acting, and the scenes were edited together using professional editing software. There were some special effects as well. It was directed by J.A Bayona. It will make money. We will be back in 2-3 years from now to do it all over again.

Were there dinosaurs? Did the dinosaurs do things?

[Dukefrukem]

Were there dinosaurs? Did the dinosaurs do things?

Obviously as they were the protagonists and antagonists. Duh.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Obviously as they were the protagonists and antagonists. Duh.

I see.

I find Blue endearing as a protagonist because he is a dinosaur that has a blue stripe, like his name.

[Dukefrukem]

I see.

I find Blue endearing as a protagonist because he is a dinosaur that has a blue stripe, like his name.

And you know he's a good guy because he helped Chris Pratt at the end of the first movie. So you know he'll remember him and save the day (again)!

[Spinal]

"We have seen these things before and we like them." (https://www.theonion.com/nation-reaffirms-commitment-to-things-they-recognize-1819578733)

[Ivan Drago]

I know reviews are already calling this as dumb as the first JW, but I, for the life me, can't help but expect more fun than logic from a movie about dinosaurs getting brought back to life.

That being said, some of the blurbs on Metacritic are referencing lines and moments from this movie that are somehow more cringe-worthy than anything in the first one...

[transmogrifier]

JW > JW: FK because at least the former is super dumb in a “What were they thinking?” way and thus gives you something to talk about. This thing is super dumb in the most generic way possible; it literally has nothing new to add, and does so with as little verve or personality as possible.

Do not get your hopes up about the “new” dinosaur. It does absolutely nothing that all other dinosaurs don’t do. Don’t get your hopes up about the new sidekicks - they might as well be named Cowardly Man and Brash Woman for all the character shading they get.

This is a movie who posits a weaponized raptor that you target on someone by - get this - aiming a laser scope at them and pulling a trigger (well, pushing a button) to focus the raptor’s attention. That’s right, to kill someone by raptor, you basically have to do the exact same steps as you would do to kill them with a sniper rifle - but then wait for a giant living killing machine to do the honors instead and then pack that living killing machine up and take it home and feed it 20 goats or something. I mean... who writes this shit?

That’s not to mention the TWO pointed closeups of Howard’s footwear near the start (“No heels! Hahaha we are so playful lol!”) and the two T-Rex deus ex machina..... this is a movie that exists but it has absolutely no creative impulses whatsoever. It is a massive step backwards for Bayona, whose A Monster’s Call was excellent, a beautifully sad fantasy.

[MadMan]

This looks baaad.

[Wryan]

The Evil Dead II of Jurassic World movies. If we could somehow banish the first Jurassic World and put this in its place as the first JP sequel to return to screens, I'd have been way more satisfied. I liked this a helluva lot more than the first movie. It's shot incredibly well, has some wild, ridiculous, fun, chaotic set pieces, a very healthy sprinkling of dumb, some callbacks that are clever (and some not), a silly throwaway reveal about a character that goes nowhere unless they do something with it in the inevitable sequel and an ending that pretty genuinely changes the landscape for this series.

Put simply, I thought this felt way more like an actual Jurassic Park movie than first JW. It gave me a touch of that feeling of watching the original. We've functionally trod this ground twice now, though, so whatever they plan to do for a third one if it's in the cards, it's gotta be different, which is why I liked the ending and am hopeful this provides a good springboard for the future.

[Wryan]

I thought of a good barometer for this movie.

If you get to the scene where Pratt is flailing himself away from encroaching lava as his body parts increasingly wake up after being tranq-ed...and you sigh and roll your eyes, you might as well get up and leave the theater. But if you laugh at the silliness, I think you'll enjoy it.

[transmogrifier]

I thought of a good barometer for this movie.

If you get to the scene where Pratt is flailing himself away from encroaching lava as his body parts increasingly wake up after being tranq-ed...and you sigh and roll your eyes, you might as well get up and leave the theater. But if you laugh at the silliness, I think you'll enjoy it.

That + gyroscope + farewell to the Brachiosaurus are literally the only three things of any use in this film. I propose the following alternative: once they leave the island, bail - it is all severely downhill from there.

Or better, watch something else that weekend.

[Morris Schæffer]

The Jurassic Park Franchise is a rather uneven beast which might explain why I liked this one more than any of the other sequels. It's definitely better than the previous one which felt like a retread, except now with a functioning park whereas this one actually feels like something different. And the ending really makes me look forward to the third World movie. A small sequence at the end with the Mosasaurus and some surfer dudes only hints at the mouthwatering shit that could potentially happen in the next one. I've resigned to the fact that the wonder is forever gone, but I'll be damned if this one wasn't thrilling, funny and even a little powerful. There are a couple of great shots. So yeah, I'm somewhat aligned with Wryan.

[Dead & Messed Up]

The Evil Dead II of Jurassic World movies.

https://i.imgur.com/uu9pmDP.gif

[Winston*]

Lots of real stupid stuff in here but I liked this significantly more than JW, mostly because JA Bayona is a much more competent director. There's some fun action-set pieces, a few interesting images and less cringeworthy dialogue (though still a lot of cringeworthy dialogue). Confused why they didn't take the opportunity to go full Cabin in the Woods with the climax, though.

It amused me how little dinosaurs seem to be worth on the black market. For the price this movie cost to make, you could buy like 8 T-rexs.

[Ezee E]

Passing.

[Dead & Messed Up]

This flick was a joyful bunch of nonsense.

I'm stunned by how much I enjoyed its absurdity, its set-pieces, the way the film bifurcates between classic "lost world" escape tropes (that volcano is straight out of One Million B.C.) into a closed-doors series of suspense sequences. It hits that same spot for me that movies like The Mummy and Pacific Rim did, where the movie uses the stupidity of its premise as an excuse for cheerful humor, sudden violence, and a love for escalating action scenes from "difficult" to "impossible" to "how are they gonna come on now this is goddamn ridiculous." The flick's got a lot of cartoon attitude too, like when a tranqed-up hero has to roll away from lava, or when a dinosaur's sneer almost breaks the fourth wall. I love it. I'm in. The more Joe Dante these movies get, the better.

Jurassic World to me was borderline detestable, so I'm sorta blown away that I had as much fun as I did.

[Dead & Messed Up]

The Evil Dead II of Jurassic World movies. If we could somehow banish the first Jurassic World and put this in its place as the first JP sequel to return to screens, I'd have been way more satisfied. I liked this a helluva lot more than the first movie. It's shot incredibly well, has some wild, ridiculous, fun, chaotic set pieces, a very healthy sprinkling of dumb, some callbacks that are clever (and some not), a silly throwaway reveal about a character that goes nowhere unless they do something with it in the inevitable sequel and an ending that pretty genuinely changes the landscape for this series.

Put simply, I thought this felt way more like an actual Jurassic Park movie than first JW. It gave me a touch of that feeling of watching the original. We've functionally trod this ground twice now, though, so whatever they plan to do for a third one if it's in the cards, it's gotta be different, which is why I liked the ending and am hopeful this provides a good springboard for the future.

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Wryan again."

[transmogrifier]

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Wryan again."

Save it for when he is right about something :)

EDIT: Which he often is, just not in this case.

[Ivan Drago]

The absurdly insane final five minutes are the lone bright spot in a narrative that's grasping at straws and takes itself super seriously about whether the dinosaurs should be perceived as animals or as experiments. . .but not once do the characters themselves ever ruminate about it, because they're not given an arc or progression to add any emotional weight to this story. And that's not even mentioning the cartoonish portrayal of characters representing both sides of the political aisle and the cringeworthy dialogue they were given in the script. But J.A. Bayona does a much better job at creating mood and atmosphere than Colin Trevorrow as a director, there's a one-take action sequence that's exciting, and the score is good. That's about all the credit I'll give it.

[Dukefrukem]

I dont understand the appeal of this movie. $150 opening weekend almost crosses the $1 billion mark after 9 days. I dont get it.

[TGM]

I'm assuming its the same people who went out to see the first Jurassic World 6+ times at the theater (no really, I even know some of these people) who are making up a lot of that.

And yeah, I didn't understand it for that one, either. :\

[Wryan]

Save it for when he is right about something :)

EDIT: Which he often is, just not in this case.

https://exposingtaylorallisonswift.fil es.wordpress.com/2016/09/giphy12.gif?w=1000

[Dead & Messed Up]

I dont understand the appeal of this movie. $150 opening weekend almost crosses the $1 billion mark after 9 days. I dont get it.

Foreign audiences, for whatever reason, really react to the dino-spectacle. I forgot that the last one made a billion dollars overseas.

Maybe it's as simple as marketing saturation + innate appeal of dinosaurs.

Anyway, trans's opinion is wrong, the movie is objectively fun.

;)

[Peng]

A shame that this turns out to be like two films in one, because the first is so much better than what ends it. The first half is probably the most fun I've had in a JP film since The Lost World, hamming it up as the world's most expensive Wile E. Coyote cartoon ever. So delirious in its relentless one-damn-thing-after-another attitude I can't help but go along with the ride: a tranquilized Pratt stretching himself into unnatural positions to roll away from encroaching lava, Howard and co make a narrow hatch escape from deadly dinosaur only for the volcano to erupt at them, all three run and roll in transporting sphere into the ocean, etc. In between there are pointed close-up of Howard's shoes as she first steps on the island and a tug of war for a chair with dinosaur. Capped it off with a haunting, hushed image of Brontosaurus enveloped in smoke and it's everything I want in a dumb dinosaur film.

Then the second half goes from dumb fun to just dumb in record time, with some of the stupidest decisions a blockbuster character will make this year. The film settles proper into Spielberg-aping house of horror and it gets so, so boring. Set-pieces are better directed than Trevorrow would have done, at least. 5.5/10

[Dead & Messed Up]

It's a Brachiosaur dammit!

A Brachiosaur!

;)

[Dukefrukem]

This was worse than I could have imagined.

[Dukefrukem]

Anyway, trans's opinion is wrong, the movie is objectively fun.

;)

What did you find fun about it? I think trans hit the nail on the head. It's not that this movie is dumb. I'm all for dumb and I liked the Mummy remake! It's because it's generically dumb.

[Dead & Messed Up]

What did you find fun about it? I think trans hit the nail on the head. It's not that this movie is dumb. I'm all for dumb and I liked the Mummy remake! It's because it's generically dumb.

This is something I wrote up shortly after watching the movie. It was in response to an internet comment elsewhere, so some of this might not read optimally. Take it for what it's worth:


I think it was a better JP2 than JP2, so I view the film more as a corrective than a derivative, if that makes sense. I thought the Indoraptor chasing the girl (and others) through the mansion was wholly satisfying suspense - of course it's not gonna hit us as hard as raptors in the kitchen. What could? But I thought it worked on its own terms as a slow-moving chase. I liked watching that bad boy slither around skeletons and break glass and outsmart the heroes on the roof. I thought plenty of beats and sequences were surprising (but that would just turn into an argument about whether or not predictability is even a bad thing - I don't think it is, not always). Thematically the film finds a variant on the previous films - which were mostly about man recognizing the limits of his control over nature - by presenting it as a Pandora's Box. The previous films never precluded the idea of razing the islands to the ground, but this film makes the statement that the only thing more irresponsible than creating dinosaurs is pretending you didn't. I think that's a cool twist on the standard JP messaging.

[I would've loved to see more oligarchs getting chewed up real good, too, but I'm happy to see them get knocked around and a few of them implicitly eaten (and at least two explicitly so). This film would've been better as an R, for sure, but I don't think that's a meaningful kneecap to the film's legs. That's more a sign of my gluttonous desire to watch evil billionaires get turned into red meat.]

I would definitely agree the little girl was not handled well - my biggest issue with the film is that her personal drama feels grafted onto the narrative (even if it fits like a glove thematically). The film cuts back to her every now and then so we remember that she exists and will probably Be Important Later.

As for what I liked, I loved how Bayona staged large-scale action. His cinematography was much clearer and more expressionistic than the previous film. The film basically builds itself around two major set-pieces: the island invasion/escape and the mansion chases. And I thought the film did a good job of starting with clear goals and then escalating and complicating and complicating further until the film verges into glorious absurdity (like how running toward the beach > running from a stampede > running from predators > gyro-ing into the ocean > stuck in the gyro underwater > now magma's poking holes in the glass). That kind of lunatic escalation reminded me of Spielberg: Indy gets in a mine-cart > now baddies are chasing > now they're over lava > now there's a jump in the track > now the brakes are broken > now there's a fucking FLOOD.

The characters are simple, no question, but this film at least had a better sense of who was likable and who wasn't and gave Clare a more empathetic motivation, toned down Owen's machismo (now he's mostly bemused by everything - he straight up chuckles during that T-rex blood sequence, which I loved). The girl here is less annoying than the boys in the previous film (although, again, agreed that her plot is awkward as fuck). I loved how over-the-top the villains were, especially Ted Levine and Toby Jones. Hell yes. Give me veteran character actors and make them smile wide as they do despicable things. The movie seemed like it was deliberately gunning for a ramshackle B-movie spirit, something closer to THE MUMMY than JURASSIC PARK, and I can't tell you how down I am for that (JP3 was headed in that direction).

And also - and I have to concede this - I fucking love dinosaurs, and this movie had so many dinosaurs that it made my heart glad. I loved seeing that Brachiosaur wreathed in flame and fog (and that was such the right moment after the island sequence opened with it walking into frame and plucking a frond from a palm tree). I loved seeing a trike skull become a useful mode of dispatch. I loved seeing those pteranodons in the post-credit sequence. I loved seeing a couple compies skitter away and come back for leftovers after two theropods fought over the limbs of a sniveling plutocrat. FALLEN KINGDOM. Fuck yeah.

[Milky Joe]

JW was bad, but entertaining in a way — it got the nostalgia for JP1 right at least. Those fumes of nostalgia were apparently all Trevorrow had in his head, because it sure didn't have anything resembling a good screenplay. FK is just bad in every conceivable way. It's not even fun—it's actively depressing. That whole tragic brachiosaur death was the most shamelessly, depthlessly manipulative moment I've seen in a big-budget action movie in a while.

I read in an interview w/ Trevorrow today where he said the JW3 that this one sets up was the movie he originally wanted to make. So it took two whole stupid movies to get to the place in the story where the guy who made the movie... actually wanted to make it. F'kin brilliant.

[Dukefrukem]

This is a movie who posits a weaponized raptor that you target on someone by - get this - aiming a laser scope at them and pulling a trigger (well, pushing a button) to focus the raptor’s attention. That’s right, to kill someone by raptor, you basically have to do the exact same steps as you would do to kill them with a sniper rifle - but then wait for a giant living killing machine to do the honors instead and then pack that living killing machine up and take it home and feed it 20 goats or something. I mean... who writes this shit?

You should write these honest trailers.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy_9K_FGTeo

[TGM]

Thought this was pretty silly. :P


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiaXHny9KD0

[Henry Gale]

I saw this back in June and I guess I never felt anything worth typing up about it.

Sounds about right.

Thought it was slightly better than the first one (primarily due to Bayona knowing how to craft compelling visuals and palpable tension better than Trevorrow), but still pretty pointless.


a silly throwaway reveal about a character that goes nowhere unless they do something with it in the inevitable sequel and an ending that pretty genuinely changes the landscape for this series.

The only direction I see them going with the clone girl is that the third movie fast-forwards hundreds of years to a planet entirely populated by hyper-intelligent dinosaurs, who after reaching a comfortable point in their own evolution, but stunted by their finite physical nature, find the DNA of humans (in amber?) and proceed to develop cloning similar to the girl in Fallen Kingdom to help them raise us to do their bidding and inevitably put them in an amusement park of their own. Then it's "our" turn (but likely just clones of the main characters we've known throughout the series) to rise up and defeat the dinos once and for all!!

No other story option excites me. Take it or leave it, Universal!

[Scar]

Thank you Google Play. Only cost me 1.07 to waste two hours of my life on this shit fest.

If I was a kid, I would’ve eaten it up.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Haha.

I am still the only one that voted yay on this.

[Skitch]

I'm sure it surprises no one for me to say this kind of movie is in my wheelhouse. I went in with no real expectations except a usual summer popcorn flick.

Holy God what a shitshow. The only thing I liked (or possibly even understood) is the awesome ending where it leaves Jurassic Park-verse. Real potential for the next flick. This entry though was a mish mash of cliches, stupidity, lunacy, supreme stupidity, repeat.

Now I will read the thread.

[dreamdead]

This film is aggressively frustrating. It's not as though it has characters who have any real depth or connection to the audience, but the final narrative development over the last five minutes makes so little narrative sense. The idea that these two adults (Pratt and Howard) would stand by and let carnivores be loosed into the wild and torment humans seems so beyond logical comprehension -- unless this is supposed to be the most radical screed against the prison system ever, which it never develops if it is, or the most radical version of PETA, which it equally never develops -- that it is just an aggressive middle-finger at human behavior in order to segue into the final images.

To link the clone girl's stand for her survival with dinosaur carnivores is disingenuous, and likely leads to me investing more thought in this project than the filmmakers ever did. At least it was watched on a plane, or I'd be complaining even more.

[Dead & Messed Up]

This film is aggressively frustrating. It's not as though it has characters who have any real depth or connection to the audience, but the final narrative development over the last five minutes makes so little narrative sense. The idea that these two adults (Pratt and Howard) would stand by and let carnivores be loosed into the wild and torment humans seems so beyond logical comprehension -- unless this is supposed to be the most radical screed against the prison system ever, which it never develops if it is, or the most radical version of PETA, which it equally never develops -- that it is just an aggressive middle-finger at human behavior in order to segue into the final images.

I thought the film was less a PETA or anti-jail thing and much more a classical "fall from grace" metaphor a la Pandora and Eve. The film opens with a rib being broken to create something new, and Ian Malcolm talks about the dinosaurs in the context of a Pandora's box. The moral of all those stories (broadly) is that the fall from grace is a regrettable, sometimes horrific, but inevitable part of maturation and in fact must occur.

Now, if you don't buy into that, I get it. And I wouldn't argue with anyone who's taking the ending on its more literal level and rightly pointing out "Um, people are probably going to die because of CloneGirl." Which, again, I get it. But at that point in the story, I was treating the film on a more figurative/thematic level.

I also think it's worth pointing out that the villains of the film have already done this, on a much larger scale, to much more detrimental effect - the oligarchs and military officials have bought their dinosaurs, which they will put to use in inhumane and unethical ways, to result in much, much, much more death than Maisie's actions, which will "open source" what's currently being strangleholded (sic) by them.

[dreamdead]

I like the symbolic reading that you apply to the film--reading the rib and fall from grace. And perhaps there's some level of collateral to be paid for Owen and Claire's messing around, especially since Blue already functions to some extent in this light. (And it would be subversive if the film was critical of this neoliberal indictment that Owen and Claire have to own this same indictment that the oligarchs and Toby Jones suffer.)

Unfortunately, I don't find the film to be cognizant of these repercussions on any narrative level. That said, I think I checked out when Owen escapes the creeping lava with limbs flailing. I don't know--maybe Goldblum and Neill and Dern were equally ambivalent, but my memory makes me think that the original situated moral complexities in ways that this film never really achieves. Or perhaps not so much complex but logically clean. This film, though, remains scattershot so that individual scenes flourish but the arc itself is both too mechanical and lacking in cohesion.

It can work as a Yeats's parable for "Slouching Toward Bethlehem" but the characters are non-entities to me.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Unfortunately, I don't find the film to be cognizant of these repercussions on any narrative level. That said, I think I checked out when Owen escapes the creeping lava with limbs flailing.

This is interesting; that moment is when I really started enjoying the movie, because I started to cue into its more aburd/cartoonish elements. (I think that's right before the Baryonyx shakes off magma falling onto its body, too, which was another sort of "This is the movie this is, you can stay on or you can get off.")

[megladon8]

Holy sweet Jesus this movie is stupid.