Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (Dave Green)

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TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

Director: Dave Green

imdb (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3949660/?ref_=nv_sr_1)

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7b/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_O ut_of_the_Shadows_poster.jpg

[TGM]

So while the first one wasn't good, it also wasn't anywhere near as awful as I was expecting it to be, so I was hopeful for this to at least live up to those low expectations. But holy shit is this movie fucking dog shit. Seriously, the only good thing in the entire movie are the ending credits. That's it. This was just such a damn miserable experience, so much stupid fucking shit that I don't even know where to fucking begin.

Bebop and Rocksteady are just about the worst god damn characters I've ever seen come to life on the big screen for one, and left me wishing for Tokka and Rahzar to come back and show 'em how it's done. Not to mention the fucking science they try to use to explain their transformation is just about the most god awful retarded elementary school playground nonsense that I can't believe some stupid fucking hack actually wrote on a sheet of paper in order to be spoken aloud by a human fucking being on camera for the world to see on film. Jesus fucking christ this movie made me feel like a god damn idiot for watching it.

And freaking Casey Jones, holy shit is he just about the least intimidating presence you can possibly fucking imagine, and they had the nerve to include a scene where he's trying to threaten a bartender into giving up information by trashing his bar, and I'm sorry, but I didn't buy that shit for a god damn minute. His ass woulda been stomped and left for fucking dead within seconds. There was just no possible way to suspend any disbelief for any of the ridiculous fucking shit that happens in this stupid, stupid, stupid god damn movie.

And the final fight against Krang is just about the most incomprehensible bullshit imaginable, I couldn't fucking tell you what happened if my life fucking depended on it. Just, jesus christ what a miserable fucking movie this was. And Shredder's even more of a non-entity than he was in the first film. Do you remember his main henchman from the original movies? That silent bald guy who was his right hand man? Yeah, that's essentially Shredder's character in this thing. He says nothing and does nothing, ultimately to find himself easily dispensed from the movie with no one even batting an eye as to his disappearance, so why the fuck is he even there?

And then they try to shoehorn in some stupid fucking plot about the turtles finding a way to turn themselves human, and this is a big deal that divides the team, until on a whim they just say, eh, fuck it, we don't want that anymore. Why? Literally no fucking reason, they just don't, meaning we just wasted 45 minutes of your god damn time on this meaningless fucking subplot that literally went nowhere and accomplished absolutely fucking nothing.

And I could just keep going on and on, but fuck it. And fuck this movie. It is going to take a lot to dethrone this as the worst movie I see this year.

[Scar]

I can't wait to here you compare it to Warcraft.

[Henry Gale]

I just love the interviews I keep seeing for this with the cast -- Will Arnett, Megan Fox, Tyler Perry -- where they ask what made them want to do the movie, and they all literally just say, "Oh, my kids." and can't even come up with anything else.

But oh well, the trailers made it look like this one had the potential of being kinda fun, even if I could care less since my only commitment to the first one was making it about five minutes into the first one on Netflix a while ago before passing out and waking up to some terrible dialogue between Whoopi Goldberg and Megan Fox about the turtles being real.


Is Whoopi back?

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Is Whoopi back?

Nope.

[Dukefrukem]

This barely made more on opening weekend than the 1990 TJMNT.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ac8xKxeqzk

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFmkUfrxNS4

[Dukefrukem]

I hated this after the first two minutes.

[Thirdmango]

I am probably one of the only people on the planet right now that really likes both the first one and this one. I think they are fun and exactly what the original cartoon is. The original cartoon is such a kids show and these movies keep up with that spirit. I go into them expecting harmless fun and that's exactly what I get and I love it.