Entourage (Doug Ellin)

[Henry Gale]

IMDb (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1674771/) / Wiki (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entourage_(film))

http://www.tribute.ca/tribute_objects/images/movies/Entourage/poster8.jpg

[Henry Gale]

Just mindblowingly, insanely, indecipherably terrible. But the hate-watch value is as strong as ever, and it's the most perfectly inglorious note for this empire of awfulness to go out on, so I got exactly what I wanted out of it, I guess?

It's basically a $30 million, 100-minute reel for what a Season 9 would've looked like. And surprise, it would've been shit!

It's like, any person I know couldn't make a less functional script if they tried. The resolutions to subplots, sudden developments and overall arcs are so fucking haphazard or nonexistent, it's kind of incredible.

Not to mention Ellin's vision and treatment of women is as horrific as ever. Every woman who speaks in this is either portrayed as hopelessly pregnant (Sloan), a schemer pretending to be pregnant or have an STI (E's two casual sexual partners who team up to briefly make E think he did these things to them, but don't worry, the film also wastes no time getting them naked), a subservient wife (Mrs. Ari, who eventually received a real person name that movie forgets again), a supermodel (mostly Nina Agdal, and Emily Ratajkowski, who despite being the catalyst for the majority of the second half's conflict is completely M.I.A. after the first act and still manages to be verbally objectified by every male character who hears her name, always said and repeated in full), Jessica Alba (who just shows up to yell at Ari for not making her passion project while he's in a rush for big boy stuff! "[Ugfh! Whatever gets me out of this conversation, lady!]") or Ronda Rousey, whose final scene is the one in the trailers where she beats up Turtle in the gym octagon. But they end up together, I think? Not that she needs to be on screen for any of those developments. (Oh yeah!)

But at least things end with Johnny Drama winning a Golden Globe for a piece of acting that we're told is only made up of four scenes in a movie-within-a-movie that to any discerning eye in or outside of this movie's reality is god-awful, but we never see his portion of, or anything resembling Vinny actually ever work on said movie despite it being what the story is centered around, not do we ever see or hear anything that isn't just petty conversations about trying to figure out why certain people don't like each other, how that relates to money, and how it may affect how much sex everyone could be having in the foreseeable future.

The fucking worst.

I will miss it so.

[Ivan Drago]

I didn't see this in theaters because I want to watch it at home with my frat brothers in my sleeveless tank and a case of Natural Light.

[Henry Gale]

I didn't see this in theaters because I want to watch it at home with my frat brothers in my sleeveless tank and a case of Natural Light.

The image of this still happening even with dude-bros with no discernible taste in the year 2015 is funnier than anything in this movie, because this movie is for no one.

[Ivan Drago]

The image of this still happening even with dude-bros with no discernible taste in the year 2015 is funnier than anything in this movie, because this movie is for no one.

I've honestly thought about giving it a go because I was a fan of the show's first five seasons, but upon hearing how the show ended, and growing annoyed with bro-culture, I'm not in any hurry.

[Henry Gale]

I've honestly thought about giving it a go because I was a fan of the show's first five seasons, but upon hearing how the show ended, and growing annoyed with bro-culture, I'm not in any hurry.

My relationship with the series is that I watched the first two seasons and enjoyed it as fluffy, possibly self-awarely douchey Hollywood vicarious fantasy, I fell away with it somewhere in the ridiculously scheduled third and fourth seasons (looking it up, they had 32 episodes combined, and "Part 2" of Season 3 ended with a two-week break before Season 4..), and then returned to it in its last season and a half (as me and my friends would get together for HBO Sundays to watch its lead-ins at the time, Curb and still-fun years of True Blood) to see it had become a gloriously godawful landfill of shit on fire. And I enjoyed it more than ever.

The intermittent recaps on Comedy Bang Bang at the time only made it even more fun to keep up with, and now Aukerman and Adam Scott's U Talkin' U2 To Me podcast's "Talkin' Bout Turtle" segment hasn't deterred my loving hate of it all.

[Skitch]

I was amused by the show (never got around to the last season). I don't consider it a life-choice to be amused by a dumb show.

[Winston*]

My relationship with the series is that I watched the first two seasons and enjoyed it as fluffy, possibly self-awarely douchey Hollywood vicarious fantasy, I fell away with it somewhere in the ridiculously scheduled third and fourth seasons (looking it up, they had 32 episodes combined, and "Part 2" of Season 3 ended with a two-week break before Season 4..), and then returned to it in its last season and a half (as me and my friends would get together for HBO Sundays to watch its lead-ins at the time, Curb and still-fun years of True Blood) to see it had become a gloriously godawful landfill of shit on fire. And I enjoyed it more than ever.

The intermittent recaps on Comedy Bang Bang at the time only made it even more fun to keep up with, and now Aukerman and Adam Scott's U Talkin' U2 To Me podcast's "Talkin' Bout Turtle" segment hasn't deterred my loving hate of it all.

Did you see any of Gil Ozeri's Entourageathon? It's on youtube if not. Full of earwolf people.