Conan the Barbarian (2011, Marcus Nispel)

[Dukefrukem]

This afternoon we have confirmed 100% that Rob Zombie has been taking meetings with Lionsgate and Nu Image to get behind the director's chair for their upcoming Conan film!

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/11105

[ledfloyd]

so my first thought when i read this topic title was an actual zombie directing a film...

[Dukefrukem]

so my first thought when i read this topic title was an actual zombie directing a film...

Zombie is the term to describe me in the shower in the morning.

[Morris Schæffer]

so my first thought when i read this topic title was an actual zombie directing a film...

:lol:

[Watashi]

so my first thought when i read this topic title was an actual zombie directing a film...
It would probably do a better job than Rob would do.

[MadMan]

It would probably do a better job than Rob would do.The Halloween remake>you :P

I wonder who will be in the title role, and I'm curious to see how it will turn out.

[megladon8]

I've actually been fairly impressed with Rob Zombie as a director so far.

He's the closest I've seen to an "auteur" coming out of commercial American film in the last few years.

I enjoyed House of 1000 Corpses, really enjoyed The Devil's Rejects, and while I wasn't too huge on Halloween, I thought it was an interesting failure, and certainly above the horror remake shlock which has been plaguing cinemas lately.

It'd be cool to see him tackle a different genre - he certainly has a kinetic sense of style and rhythm which I think could work well with action.

I just hope that whole Triple H-as-Conan thing is over and done with. Though we probably won't get anyone who is much better.

And here's to hoping there's no Lynyrd Skynyrd in the soundtrack.

[lovejuice]

you guys are nut. :confused::crazy: when a new conan is announced to be made, the first question is who's replacing the governer, not who directs it. :P;)

[Dukefrukem]

I've actually been fairly impressed with Rob Zombie as a director so far.

He's the closest I've seen to an "auteur" coming out of commercial American film in the last few years.

I enjoyed House of 1000 Corpses, really enjoyed The Devil's Rejects, and while I wasn't too huge on Halloween, I thought it was an interesting failure, and certainly above the horror remake shlock which has been plaguing cinemas lately.

It'd be cool to see him tackle a different genre - he certainly has a kinetic sense of style and rhythm which I think could work well with action.

I just hope that whole Triple H-as-Conan thing is over and done with. Though we probably won't get anyone who is much better.

And here's to hoping there's no Lynyrd Skynyrd in the soundtrack.

yeh but how did you like the House of 1000 Corpses ending?

[ledfloyd]

It would probably do a better job than Rob would do.
That was my second thought.

[MadMan]

So would the first zombie director be eligible for an Oscar? :P

[Morris Schæffer]

you guys are nut. :confused::crazy: when a new conan is announced to be made, the first question is who's replacing the governer, not who directs it. :P;)

I dunno. The Schwarz wasn't really a major star back in 1981, not until 1984 when he starred in The Terminator. It doesn't help that both Conan movies just aren't all that great although the first sports at least one excellent aspect, namely the score by Basil Poledouris. Conan the Destroyer is actually pants if you ask me. Still, I guess in the realm of really muscular action heroes, there's only Arnold.

[lovejuice]

I dunno. The Schwarz wasn't really a major star back in 1981, not until 1984 when he starred in The Terminator. It doesn't help that both Conan movies just aren't all that great although the first sports at least one excellent aspect, namely the score by Basil Poledouris. Conan the Destroyer is actually pants if you ask me. Still, I guess in the realm of really muscular action heroes, there's only Arnold.

perhaps only because i like the first more than you do -- haven't watched the pants -- shirtless schwarz is among more memorable movie images. any choice will be in for a cruel comparison. besides anyone really cares who replace this John Milius guy?

[Morris Schæffer]

Can't say I'm much of a Millius fanatic.:)

[EvilShoe]

From www.darkhorizons.com (http://www.darkhorizons.com)

The likes of Rob Zombie, Xavier Gens and Neil Marshall have all been linked this past week to directing "Conan", a new film version of the classic barbarian hero that Lionsgate is planning for Summer 2009.

Well all the talk is utter bull according to a reputable and highly placed source within the production. The scooper says: "The bottom line here is that there isn't one. The production companies are talking to a host of directors, there is no completed script and there will be no director until they have a script done."

They add their own warning to those who would spread these rumors - "People like Rob Zombie are planting their own rumors trying to get the job. This is ridiculous." For now, ignore all the talk until later in the year.

[Ezee E]

Hopefully Zombie does his own thing instead or ruining classics.

[D_Davis]

Conan the Barbarian is a masterpiece of action cinema. It is skillfully shot, well written, and all together well made.

This one, I am interested in.

[megladon8]

yeh but how did you like the House of 1000 Corpses ending?


I thought it was one of the best parts.

[Dukefrukem]

I thought it was one of the best parts.

:pritch:

Can we all agree if this movie happens, that it's gonna be one bloody swordy mess?

[The Mike]

Well, it's not Rob Zombie...it's far, far worse.....

Brett Ratner is in final negotiations to direct Conan. (http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=7795)

:sad:x Infinity.

[MadMan]

Well, it's not Rob Zombie...it's far, far worse.....

Brett Ratner is in final negotiations to direct Conan. (http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=7795)

:sad:x Infinity.Okay its a foregone conclusion that this movie will suck. And I liked the first two Rush Hour movies. But only as guilty pleasures.

[Skitch]

I'd be up for Xavier Gens...Frontiere(s) was badass.

[bac0n]

So would the first zombie director be eligible for an Oscar? :P

...and I would like to thank the academy, my wife Charlotte... and brrraaaaaiiiiinnnnnsssss...

[Grouchy]

Conan the Barbarian is one of the greatest films ever made, people.

Fuck Brett Ratner. Rodriguez's Red Sonja will probably be better.

[The Mike]

Conan the Barbarian is one of the greatest films ever made, people.

Fuck Brett Ratner. Rodriguez's Red Sonja will probably be better.Agreed on all accounts.

[MadMan]

Conan the Barbarian is one of the greatest films ever made, people.

Fuck Brett Ratner. Rodriguez's Red Sonja will probably be better.Since Red Sonja is absolute trash, I can't see how the remake can be worse than the original.

[D_Davis]

My interest in this has gone from great to nil.

[Dukefrukem]

Well, it's not Rob Zombie...it's far, far worse.....

Brett Ratner is in final negotiations to direct Conan. (http://www.superherohype.com/news/topnews.php?id=7795)

:sad:x Infinity.

Wow. Thats very very disappointing.

*Change thread title please?*

[Skitch]

Since Red Sonja is absolute trash, I can't see how the remake can be worse than the original.

*contemplates negative rep*

[Grouchy]

so my first thought when i read this topic title was an actual zombie directing a film...
Well, now it turned out to be true!

[The Mike]

Ratner Says Conan Announcement Was Premature
Source:Los Angeles Times
November 12, 2008


Remember Sunday's night's announcement that Brett Ratner was committed to direct the Conan movie? Not so fast, says Ratner. Turns out, Millennium Films' Avi Lerner sent the announcement that Ratner was attached to the project prematurely to The Hollywood Reporter. Ratner spoke to the Los Angeles Times:

Lerner acknowledged that even though he sent out a press release announcing Ratner's involvement with the project, the deal wasn't actually done. "We still have a few obstacles," he said. "Brett is only committed if we agree on a budget, on how to do the special effects and exactly where we'd shoot the film." Lerner has a studio in Bulgaria, so he'd like to shoot most of the movie there, with some exterior work in China.

But is Ratner actually committed to doing the film? In two words: Not really. When I called him today, he sounded somewhat agitated, unhappy that news of his negotiations with Lerner had surfaced, especially since he is extremely close to getting a green light from Paramount to make "Beverly Hills Cop 4." "Let me make this very clear," he told me. "I am not doing 'Conan' now. This is totally premature. For now, 'Conan' is only a development deal. I have a deal at Paramount and I'm doing 'Beverly Hills Cop' first, no matter what. Avi shouldn't be telling you or anyone else in the press what I'm doing."


:pritch::pritch::pritch::pritc h::pritch::pritch:
:pritch::pritch::pritch::pritc h::pritch:

[Dukefrukem]

bwhahaha. I just noticed the thread title change and was happy to read this news.

[The Mike]

Nice. :lol:

[MadMan]

*contemplates negative rep*You and amberlita like that movie. I have no idea why :P

The current thread title is great, haha.

[Skitch]

You and amberlita like that movie. I have no idea why :P

The current thread title is great, haha.


Because its...AWESOME. :)

Yes, I am highly amused. And confused. I saw the Ratner thing at Joblo, and threw my arms in the air. Who the hell is on this thing?!

[Grouchy]

Great thread title.

Hell... John Milius is still alive, right?

[Dukefrukem]

Director: Marcus Nispel
Written: Thomas Dean Donnelly(Sahara),Sean Hood and Joshua Oppenheimer(Sahara)

Jason Momoa(Stargate Atlantis) as Conan
Stephen Lang(Avatar) as Khalar Singh
Rachel Nichols(GI Joe and Star Trek) as Tamara
Ron Perlman(Hellboy series) as Corin

Also
Rose McGowan(Sceam,Grindhouse series) and Said Taghmaoui(G.I. Joe)

[Dukefrukem]

Aug. 19. 2011 release date (http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118026719.html?categoryid=1 3&cs=1)


http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/conanaction.jpg

http://a330.g.akamai.net/7/330/23382/20101102051035/www.variety.com/graphics/photos/_storypics/Conan-2c.jpg

[MadMan]

He looks like he has serious roid rage. So Arnuld part two, only a tad smaller? Gotcha.

[Dukefrukem]

AWESOME live action poster. (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/48714)

[Sxottlan]

Teaser trailer (http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=75152).

"I live. I love. I slay. I am content."

:pritch:

I didn't know Conan was into philosophy.

[Scar]

Teaser trailer (http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=75152).

"I live. I love. I slay. I am content."

:pritch:

I didn't know Conan was into philosophy.


Ah, my old slogan.

[lovejuice]

Teaser trailer (http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=75152).

"I live. I love. I slay. I am content."

:pritch:

I didn't know Conan was into philosophy.
Well. The original opens with Nietzsche's quotation.

[Melville]

Well. The original opens with Nietzsche's quotation.
And let's not forget this:
"Conan, what is best in life?"
Conan: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women."
Actually, that's really all I remember about the movie. That and an orgy.

[Sxottlan]

And let's not forget this:
"Conan, what is best in life?"
Conan: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women."

He could take over for Oprah.


Actually, that's really all I remember about the movie.

I don't think I've ever seen the original all the way through.

[Grouchy]

If either of you have seen Conan, you remember him punching the camel.

[Melville]

If either of you have seen Conan, you remember him punching the camel.
Oh yeah. And biting a vulture. Gold.

[[ETM]]

Don't forget the rave:
http://krullraves.ytmnd.com/

[Dukefrukem]

What's this rated and why are there giant serpents and mummies? (http://www.aintitcool.com/node/49515)

[megladon8]

It's R.

Do you not have any other exposure to Conan stuff?

[D_Davis]

It's going to be tough for this film to best the recent REH-based film, Solomon Kane.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Needs Mako narration. Stat.

[Skitch]

I'd probably be more excited for this if it weren't called Conan The Barbarian.

[Morris Schæffer]

That looks better...than I expected. But I suppose I expected oh so very little. Then again, the original sans Arnold, is mediocre too apart from the score by the late Basil Poledouris. That's all kinds of awesome.

[Dukefrukem]

Do you not have any other exposure to Conan stuff?

Why are you answering my question with other question? Is it not obvious?

^^answers a question with a question

[TGM]

Wow, this looks completely boring, not to mention pointless...

[number8]

Why are you answering my question with other question? Is it not obvious?

^^answers a question with a question

It is a very weird question. Why are there monsters? Er, because that's what Conan is about? How would you like that answered?

Why are there aliens in Star Trek?

[Dukefrukem]

I never saw the original Conan and never read anything. I guess I didn't realize these stories were on the same page as Clash of the Titans and the Iliad. I just thought it was some huge dude fighting people 3000 years ago. [/ignorance]

[D_Davis]

I never saw the original Conan and never read anything. I guess I didn't realize these stories were on the same page as Clash of the Titans and the Iliad. I just thought it was some huge dude fighting people 3000 years ago. [/ignorance]

They're less mythological than they are low-fantasy. Conan is actually part of its own sub-genre of fantasy: Sword and Sorcery, made popular by authors like Howard, Vance, Smith, and others. The stories mainly consist of humans and monsters - there aren't dwarves or elves, as those kinds of races are usually part of the high-fantasy stuff. Also, there weren't really any epic novels in the S&S sub-genre. Most of the stuff consisted of short stories or serialized fiction in the pulp magazines.

Really good. Definitely worth checking out, if you can get past the racism and misogyny.

[Dukefrukem]

Thank you DD.

[D_Davis]

Oh, and how could I forget to mention Leiber's Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser series? Pretty cool stuff.

[megladon8]

I actually find the Conan mythos and similar "low fantasy" stuff to be more interesting than, say, "Lord of the Rings".

Not that I don't love "LOTR", but since it very much set the blueprint for high fantasy stuff, it is now a victim of overexposure by other authors/filmmakers/video games developers even though it was one of the first.

With Robert E. Howard's stuff (and authors like him) it's much more, I don't know, pulpy? More variation in worlds and stories, rather than just "the human warrior who may or may not be bad, the stoic elf archer, the hot-headed dwarf with an axe, etc."

[Yxklyx]

Oh, and how could I forget to mention Leiber's Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser series? Pretty cool stuff.

Yeah, those contain the best material for making some great films.

[megladon8]

Rose McGowan is kind of terrifying in that trailer.

Looks like she'd seduce you then eat your dick.

[Yxklyx]

Rose McGowan is kind of terrifying in that trailer.

Looks like she'd seduce you then eat your dick.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_j4twdnk8ZvI/STF6buZ_AkI/AAAAAAAABy0/bDWIAfdHe3E/s400/lair+white+worm+donohoe+hot+tu b+freakout.jpg

[D_Davis]

Yeah, those contain the best material for making some great films.

I'm shocked that these aren't movies yet.

[megladon8]

I have a few Robert E. Howard collections.

I think I might break them out soon.

[MadMan]

The trailer is rather meh. I'll wait for the reviews and what Match-Cut says. I've only seen half of the original film, though.

[Irish]

I've only seen half of the original film, though.

:lol: Jesus, dude. Do you ever finishing anything? :P

[MadMan]

:lol: Jesus, dude. Do you ever finishing anything? :PYep.

[Irish]

http://i.imgur.com/8bNlw.jpg

[Morris Schæffer]

Lol:D


Momoa ... speaks in one of those trying-too-hard baritones heard in young jocks whose greatest fear is being called gay.

[Dukefrukem]

This was not good. Lots of nudity though, which I suppose is sorta good.

[megladon8]

This was not good. Lots of nudity though, which I suppose is sorta good.


This would be pretty much the only reason I'd see it, because I love teh boobies.

But the only woman in it whose melons I'm really anxious to see (Rachel Nichols) doesn't show anything (from what I've heard). Which is disappointment city.

[Dukefrukem]

This would be pretty much the only reason I'd see it, because I love teh boobies.

But the only woman in it whose melons I'm really anxious to see (Rachel Nichols) doesn't show anything (from what I've heard). Which is disappointment city.

Well if you pretend the sex scene is her and not a double (which it probably is) you could trick your mind into thinking it's her.

[[ETM]]

Momoa got to choose the body double. He says they lined up naked Bulgarians in front of him. :D

[Irish]

Holy hell, this was baaaaaaad.

Starts out superfun for the first act, then gets increasingly dull. They whip through a dozen locations, all of them well imagined in establishing shots and all of them used to stage really, really dull fight scenes. Half of it feels like outtakes from The Mummy movies with bits of Pirates of the Caribbean thrown around.

I liked the way the original positioned the hero -- he doesn't care a toss for the problems of the world. He just wants revenge. Likewise, the world doesn't care about him, and the object of his emnity treats him as if he is of no consequence.

But here, Conan and his world are over thought and over produced. He runs around like some kind of barbaric Robin Hood, and thing is over written Conan's personal quest becomes a quest to save not only the world, but his mousy looking girlfriend.

Blech.

PS: Pretty sure Rose McGowan thought she was still on the WB. Watching her overact for two hours is really painful. Take the worst, hammy aspects of William Shatner, Al Pacino, and Anthony Hopkins, combine them, get that monstrosity of performance high on pain meds and cheap whiskey ... And you'd still have something more watchable than McGowan is here.

[Li Lili]

I guess it could have been worse