Ted (Seth MacFarlane)

[eternity]

http://collider.com/wp-content/uploads/Ted-movie-poster.jpg

imdb (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1637725/)

[eternity]

This was really funny until it wasn't. At all. It completely runs out of steam about halfway through, and all of the bits that really work are very familiar if you've watched Family Guy. Entire scenes are ripped from the show, and by the time the third act comes, it becomes painful how unfunny it is. The very last joke is painful.

Mila Kunis' character is also one of the worst female main characters I've seen in a studio movie.

I really wanted to like this, and for a while I did. But...just, god dammit. It's worth noting though that any time I would laugh, nobody else in the theater would have a reaction to the humor. Any time they were laughing, I didn't find it funny. There's two types of comedy fighting it out in this one, and the shitty kind wins in the end.

[Pop Trash]

It's worth noting though that any time I would laugh, nobody else in the theater would have a reaction to the humor. Any time they were laughing, I didn't find it funny.

The story of my life with modern comedies.

The best example would be seeing Ghost World in the theaters with a pretty sizable crowd, and me having to stifle my laughs since everyone else was just :|

[eternity]

The story of my life with modern comedies.

The best example would be seeing Ghost World in the theaters with a pretty sizable crowd, and me having to stifle my laughs since everyone else was just :|

Half the jokes in this movie are quite clever, but the audience wasn't even recognizing it. The other half is...the most fitting comparison is to the works of Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer.

The theater was entirely full of teenagers wearing tank tops and reeking of Axe Body Spray. If a bomb went off in that theater, nobody would've been missed.

[TGM]

Oh wow, just, no. This movie was fucking horrible. Seth MacFarlane has truly fucking lost it. I was hoping for at least a decent episode of Family Guy level of comedy here, but my god, this was worse than even the worst of American Dad episodes. But the worst part about it, this was one of those moments where I felt like I was the smartest person in the theater, because my crowd was fucking dying throughout all of it. And yet all I could do was sit there and silently cringe to myself at one horrendously unfunny joke after another. I don't get it, I really don't. (And this coming from a guy who typically likes shitty movies!!!!)

I definitely would have walked out, but I was there with a friend, who also happened to be my ride. He enjoyed it, and as we filed out of the theater, noticing my disdain, he commented that, "At least it wasn't as bad as Prometheus." I couldn't contain myself then, and I may have been a little louder than necessary when I protested that this movie was fucking horrible, and far worse than Prometheus. The people around me kind of kept silent after that little outburst, bleh.

A brief cameo from Ryan Reynolds got a small chuckle out of me, but that's it.

[Mal]

I forgot who this was made by --- annnnd now I have no interest.

[Boner M]

I hated that I laughed at so much of its shitty jokes. As with Family Guy, there's a few genuinely inspired moments (the entire party scene minus the Asian neighbour), a whole litany of pandering gags at the expense of current celebrities redeemed only through comic timing, and the rest is just moronic bilge.

Mostly I'm just disappointed this wasn't a Howard the Duck-level fiasco that throws everything awful about MacFarlane into sharp relief. It's far more enjoyable than Paul, as much as it pains me to say.

[Milky Joe]

People are actually paying to see this atrociousness? How depressing.

[Boner M]

People are actually paying to see this atrociousness? How depressing.
Free preview screening, had nothing to do.

[Dukefrukem]

I wish i could neg rep you all. How can you try to hate something you're enjoying?

[Acapelli]

ultimate work bro movie

[Sxottlan]

Guess I shouldn't be surprised by the reaction so far. I finally got around to liking Family Guy just when it seems everyone else around here started hating it. And I laughed at a lot of this.

But that said, it really went off the rails at the end. Even before going, looking at a running time of 105 minutes, I knew it would be too long. And it was. The entire subplot with the obsessive fan and his kid should have been cut. There were few laughs to be had in the last half hour. Also, someone could probably write up a dissertation on why McFarlane feels the need to insert himself into his own stories as plush little animals. First Brian (often on his soapbox which has led to some bizarre episodes) and now Ted. Some interesting psycho-analysis could be had there.

[Dukefrukem]

Why are people here saying it went off the rails when every professional reviewer says it says on them? I can't wait to see this.

[number8]

Why are people here saying it went off the rails when every professional reviewer says it says on them?

They what?

[Ivan Drago]

They what?

I think he meant to say "every reviewer says it stays on them."

That said, I'm still going to see this, but with reservations.

[Winston*]

"Ultimately Ted stays on the rails until the end" - Manohla Dargis

"There should be no crash at the box office this weekend, because Ted stays on the rails untill the end." - Todd McCarthy

"In the rich humanist tradition of Fellini's Amarcord and Neveldine/Taylor's Jonah Hex, Ted stays on the rails until the end." - Armond White

[Sven]

Why are people here saying it went off the rails when every professional reviewer says it says on them?

Your appeal to authority is belittled by your positive Prometheus rating.

[Dukefrukem]

Your appeal to authority is belittled by your positive Prometheus rating.

That only works against me if my optimism is vastly in the minority.. which it isn't.

[EvilShoe]

Someone's going to get their head knocked off if this arguing about Prometheus doesn't stop.

[Dukefrukem]

It's hard to imagine this is Mark Wahlberg's second biggest opening ($54 Mil) behind Planet of the Apes ($68 Mil).

[Ezee E]

Completely generic, but still pretty funny unless it's involving a wasted Giovanni Ribisi, then it just goes plain bad. The last act, in particular, is almost devoid of laughs.

Basically is a live-version of Family Guy. The best jokes are the ones that don't really have anything to do with what's going on.

[MadMan]

Someone's going to get their head knocked off if this arguing about Prometheus doesn't stop.I just ignore it, but Evil busting heads sounds funny to me.

And after reading all of the reactions, I realize that I'm probably a prime candidate to enjoy Ted. Although I stopped watching Family Guy about 2 or 3 seasons ago.

[Dukefrukem]

Prometheus was awesome.

[Bosco B Thug]

I was just kind of bored throughout this. And it just got worse towards the ending.

Pros: MacFarlane's absurdist subversions are there, like playing things (like his improprieties) straight-faced, and all the fuzzy sex, and he goes for a small creative effort to write Wahlberg and Kunis as this Platonic ideal of sincere, unthreatening people and a nice couple.

[Henry Gale]

This would have been a lot better if it got a genuine laugh out of me more frequently than every 15-20 minutes.

Ted just isn't an enjoyable character. The marketing of this had already normalized me to the idea that it's a talking teddy bear doing the things he does, and having that luster already faded simply by knowing of the general premise and seeing clips for so long beforehand didn't leave much else to be surprised or amused by with him. And beyond that, everything else in the movie is about Wahlberg and Kunis, and the movie is perfectly fine with letting their material function like any other relationship drama or romantic comedy, and it becomes increasingly boring. Joel McHale, Patrick Warburton and even Giovanni Ribisi have some great moments in small roles, but their characters also represent some of the script biggest problems.

It also falls back on Family Guy's worst crutch by mistaking references to familiar things as jokes, and the rest of it is just too stunningly dramatic and tonally confused to be even be passably entertaining. MacFarlane just doesn't do sincerity very well, especially here when it clashes so annoyingly with the brash, unapologetic nature of the comedy, and the shoddy mechanics of the rest of the film don't let his overwhelming amount of would-be heartfelt and serious character moments work in the slightest.

MacFarlane has publicly contemplated whether or not he should have already ended Family Guy, but I'd much rather see him continue to experiment with mixed results for free in the comfort of my own home than have to become curious enough to watch him create a big, theatrical potential miss like this every few years. The better end of episodes from this season of Family Guy are more irreverent, original and funnier in 20 minutes than this is in 100.

[Dukefrukem]

This is now the highest grossing R rated comedy of all time.

[Ivan Drago]

This is now the highest grossing R rated comedy of all time.

Until The Hangover 3.

Hoping to finally see this at the dollar theater near me soon.

[Ezee E]

Until The Hangover 3.

Hoping to finally see this at the dollar theater near me soon.
Hangover 2 was overall a disappointment by even the diehard fans. It better loosen up its formula.

[B-side]

I wanna say stuff about Ted, but I'm not feeling particularly eloquent, so do forgive the following word salad.

Traditional cinematic tropes suggest childhood idealism and romanticism gives way to dull and depressing adult lives working amidst cynics and people who have simply given up on the dreams of youth. What Ted does so well is to subvert and twist this framework. Childhood is miserable and not terribly unlike adulthood. There are still bullies, and you typically retain the same friends. Johnny is as playful and wide-eyed as any child, and his excellent rapport with Lori -- particularly when they are being "childish" -- subtly indicates there's as much magic in the adult world as there is in the romanticized world of children. This is further established at the end when Lori learns to resolve the dichotomous relationship between office-job-working adults and a teddy bear friend. MacFarlane, as he does so often in Family Guy, finds a promising middle ground between childish and strictly adult. Johnny's relationship with Lori is the greatest thing that ever happened to him, and something that could only happen with the added experience and emotional rigor of being an adult. Transitioning from animation -- consistently associated with children's entertainment -- to live action, MacFarlane "grows up", but not at the expense of the goofy innocence of youth. On the technical end, MacFarlane experiments with the live action cinematographic medium to invoke the nostalgic inclinations of his viewers in the Flash Gordon montages. Aggressive shadowing and some beautiful lighting demonstrate maturity in form, while the content of the shots remain grounded in his irreverent world of pop culture references and lowbrow humor. The cinematography in comedies is typically very boring, and hasn't evolved much since the work of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, but it's clear from the beginning that MacFarlane wasn't interested in making a traditional romantic comedy, neither in terms of writing or aesthetic. Two shots in particular stand out: one involving Ted and his girlfriend walking through a parking lot, lit dark orange in the night, the two of them silhouetted in the back by the street lights. The other is toward the end and is almost Hitchcock-esque as the camera is positioned on the sidewalk with Lori's apartment on the left side of the screen, her figure silhouetted against a window in the middle distance. The beautiful nighttime shot slowly transitions to day with nary a shred of evidence of superimposition. Yes, I'm fond of silhouette shots.

[transmogrifier]

Heh, I just finished this myself. Here's my take:

It was funny.

Signed
transmogrifier

[Watashi]

Did B-Side really compare McFarlane to Hitchcock?

[Derek]

Did B-Side really compare McFarlane to Hitchcock?

And infer that the cinematography is more mature than Keaton and Chaplin. Take your pick.

[B-side]

And infer that the cinematography is more mature than Keaton and Chaplin. Take your pick.

That I did not intend, but I did make a comparison of one shot in the film to something Hitchcock did, or would have done, yes.

[EvilShoe]

It's enjoyable enough, with the Flash Gordon bit being inspired lunacy, but that third act is wretched. Mild yay.

[MadMan]

The middle part of this movie with the Flash Gordon jokes was the best. I laughed the hardest during most of that. I liked Ted, but it had the same problem that Elf did: decent/solid premise, funny movie, runs out of steam by the end. The last act had some good jokes, but it felt pointless, which then in turn reminds me of Superbad's cop subplot, which could have been cut out also. Had both films dumped their unnecessary subplots, they would have been much better off as a result.

Oh and on the way to the bar and my buddy and I took only five minutes to come up with a plot for the sequel. I'm not impressed with MacFarlane, even though I still like Family Guy (at least the earlier seasons) and American Dad is funny. The Cleveland Show is just awful, though.

[EyesWideOpen]

This was the worst kind of movie a mediocre one. The Flash Gordon stuff was amusing but everything else is just kind of there.

[eternity]

The middle part of this movie with the Flash Gordon jokes was the best. I laughed the hardest during most of that. I liked Ted, but it had the same problem that Elf did: decent/solid premise, funny movie, runs out of steam by the end. The last act had some good jokes, but it felt pointless, which then in turn reminds me of Superbad's cop subplot, which could have been cut out also. Had both films dumped their unnecessary subplots, they would have been much better off as a result.

Oh and on the way to the bar and my buddy and I took only five minutes to come up with a plot for the sequel. I'm not impressed with MacFarlane, even though I still like Family Guy (at least the earlier seasons) and American Dad is funny. The Cleveland Show is just awful, though.

The Cleveland Show has hit its stride in a big way. Take that back.

[MadMan]

The Cleveland Show has hit its stride in a big way. Take that back.I find that really hard to believe.

Clearly Brude underestimated people's love for Flash Gordon :P

I don't remember any rape jokes, but that's probably because the film is already fading from memory. It was entertaining, but its rather forgettable.

[Scar]

Mild Yay. I laughed, Flash Gordon was awesome, the Teddy Ruxpin line/fight was great, and the third act doesn't completely shit the bed.

[Spun Lepton]

Predictable? Yes. Formulaic? Yes. I can't say I was bowled over by it, but it kept my attention throughout, it made me laugh out loud a few times. I did smile through most of it. Giovanni Ribisi's dance was hilarious. Likeable characters. Good acting. Serviceable cinematography.

I enjoyed it.

7/10

P.S. Mila Kunis is gorgeous.

[Grouchy]

This was fucking terrible, people. I might have laughed twice - just name-dropping pop culture is not making a joke. I think modern audiences have gotten way too used to that shit.

And what the hell else does the movie have to offer? The plot is standard romantic comedy bullshit, all things considered. The last third of the film basically just decides to take Ted seriously like he's E.T. or something and has... no laughs!

The Beaver, Paul and Bad Santa, just to name a few, are much, much better dark comedies.

[Boner M]

Yeah, those two just make Ted look good.

[Grouchy]

What, you guys serious?

The Beaver is a good movie, I don't know what the deal with that one was that it was so poorly received. Paul is just a shallow comedy... but at least it was funny. I got a lot more out of those two than with Ted.

[EyesWideOpen]

Ted wasn't very good but Paul was worse.

[eternity]

Ted's highs are higher but its lows are lower than Paul.

[Stay Puft]

I was surprised by how sweet this was. B-side's comments about the images of childhood and adulthood are spot on, but the ending of the film - the way the relationship conflicts are resolved - is far too easy, the subplot with Ribisi essentially being mishandled and all of it culminating in cliche (as one comment said, it follows a typical romantic comedy trajectory). Incredibly hit or miss humor, too, as I suppose I should have expected. Mildly charming, but I have to settle on a nay as it was ultimately too pandering - and too many of the big setpieces, like the Flash Gordon party, honestly didn't work for me. The fight scene was well done, though, I'll give him that.

[Rowland]

Fucking teal and orange.

[Henry Gale]

Fucking teal and orange.

It's even taking over older movies. I just watched the Paul Verhoeven-supervised and approved transfer for the newest Total Recall Blu-ray. Guess what colours all the grays and skin tones became?!

And don't get me started on Ridley Scott's revisionist colour-timing for Blade Runner: Final Cut.

[Dukefrukem]

Do you think it should never be used or used more sparingly? I can think of quite a few beloved movies that have accepted this trend.

[Ivan Drago]

As a Seth MacFarlane fan, I really enjoyed this. The third act was definitely the weakest part, though.

[Dukefrukem]

As a Seth MacFarlane fan, I really enjoyed this. The third act was definitely the weakest part, though.

Like with 99% of all comedies.

[Skitch]

Finally got around to watching Ted.

Setup: I'm bitchy with modern comedies. Most of them are tedious, unfunny, and irritating to me. I enjoy Family Guy. Sure its gotten repetitive, but its till amusing.

I was bored to tears by Ted. I laughed maybe 3 times throughout the entire film. Its an hour 45 that feels like 3. Kind of shocked how big of a hit it was, but I don't understand most modern comedies that are hits. Maybe I'm just old.