Add/change one letter in the title, change the film's synopsis.

[Boner M]

This game always tends to be fun. I'll start with 2009.

Two Glovers - Joaquin Phoenix must decide between the stability & comfort offered by Danny, or the reckless, risky, roundhouse-kickin' Crispin.

A Serious Mane - A man begins a desperate search for a barber in the face of world seemingly devoid of anyone willing to trim his long hair.

Poon - Sam Rockwell is lonely in space and wants some.

[Fezzik]

Cup - an aging balloon salesman takes a sabbatical to South America to find himself after discovering that his recently deceased wife once starred in a grotesque, risque viral internet video.

[Spinal]

Cup - an aging balloon salesman takes a sabbatical to South America to find himself after discovering that his recently deceased wife once starred in a grotesque, risque viral internet video.

So I see you've taken your friend's advice about the porn.

[D_Davis]

The Glade - an aging, one-armed martial artist retires from the jiang hu and moves to an old hut in the middle of a forest clearing, only to find that a spunky little orphan has been squatting there. The two strike up an uncanny friendship, and wacky hi-jinx ensue.

[Russ]

The Hirt Locker - an aging war veteran makes a startling discovery at his local YMCA when he uncovers a gym bag containing a mysterious trumpet.

[D_Davis]

Ruby - an aging grandmother dying of cancer finally gets the chance to fulfill her lifelong dream: to play football for her old college. She becomes a mother-figure for the team, and during the final game, after scoring the winning touchdown, Ruby dies in the end zone.

Oscar contender, for sure. The end will be very sad. As the crowd goes wild, and the fireworks ignite the sky in brilliant colors, all in slo-mo of course, Ruby falls to her knees, removes her helmet, and we get a close up of her smiling face pointing towards the sky as a single tear drips down her cheek.

[D_Davis]

The Hirt Locker - an aging war veteran makes a startling discovery at his local YMCA when he uncovers a gym bag containing a mysterious trumpet.

Good one.

[Adam]

Bad Day At Black Cock Crossover internet porn sensation Sasha Grey has a rough day on the job

Cleon From 5 to 7 Biopic of Met fan favorite Cleon Jones, focusing on his trials and tribulations from ages five to seven trying to get by in white suburbia

Coogan's Buff Mockumentary starring Steve Coogan about the sordid world of work-out equipment infomercials

The Se7en Samurai Kevin Spacey torments feudal Japan with a ritualistic murder spree

[Russ]

How to Drain Your Dragon - an aging sex-ed teacher loses his job when he attempts to update the school's textbooks to appeal to contemporary sensibilities.

[Ivan Drago]

How to Drain Your Dragon - an aging sex-ed teacher loses his job when he attempts to update the school's textbooks to appeal to contemporary sensibilities.

WINNER.

[NickGlass]

Summer Sours: a provincial, yet bourgeois, French family learns the tart lemon candies their mother made for them as children are now valuable delicacies in America and struggle with the proposition of selling the recipe to Nabisco.

[Fezzik]

So I see you've taken your friend's advice about the porn.

Ha! Nice. Thankfully, I've never seen the video. After hearing some people's reactions to it, though, I'm glad :D

Irony Man - A dark comedy about a tech-loving, dot.com millionaire who tries to use his fortune for good, but has everything backfire on him in the most cruel, biting way.

Finding Kemo - A documentary about the talent search that led to the casting of Clayton Moore as the Lone Ranger.

[Raiders]

The Curious Vase of Benjamin Button - A down-on-his-luck florist living in the ruins of Hurricane Katrina discovers a pristine vase sitting in the rubble of an abandoned house and discovers that it can transform all dead flowers back to their vibrant beauties. He then begins to sojourn throughout the dilapidated city, bringing it back to life and beauty flower by flower.

[Russ]

The Bland Side

A synopsis change is unnecessary.

[Winston*]

Q.

A chronicle of the rise of one man from humble PHD student to the position of cantankerous gadget creater for Her Majesty's Secret Service.

[bac0n]

John Carpenter's The Thong

A group operating a remote antarctic research station find a piece of lingerie buried beneath the ice, and one-by-one succumb to madness at the hands of this fleeting token of sexuality, something that has been deprived of them for months and months.

[Spinal]

The Lovely Boner

A young movie lover watches over the forum that once banned him. He dreams of vengeance against the moderator who did him wrong, but also knows that the forum must move on and heal.

[D_Davis]

The Bland Side

A synopsis change is unnecessary.

Well played.

[Spinal]

The Bland Side

A synopsis change is unnecessary.

Could also be The Blond Side considering Sandra's dye job.

[MadMan]

Jurassic Bark. People run from gigantic, genetically engineered canines. Some guy dressed in black can't shut up about chaos, while the other guy who hates kids discovers they don't completely suck.

[Derek]

Oldgoy

An anti-semitic man is kidnapped and held in a room for 15 years before being released and given a cell phone and money. After being released, he falls in love with a young girl. It is later revealed that the girl is not only his daughter, but that his captor has converted her and the man's entire family to Judaism.

[D_Davis]

Poker'mon

A Rastafarian learns that the Ring of Solomon is the grand prize at this year's World Series of Poker, and enters the competition.

[Derek]

Punishment Pork

A group of vegan activists are captured by the military and placed in a confined area with 50 pigs. After giving the pigs a 1 hour head start, the activists and given knives and must hunt down their prey or die of starvation.

[Russ]

INLAND UMPIRE - an aging umpire from the California Coastal League learns that his final game has eerie similarities to that of a rained-out game that was said to be cursed. Prarie dogs appear throughout the infield at the most inopportune moments.

[D_Davis]

Mulholland Drove

The epic story of how Mr. Mulholland, a retired cabbie, drove across the United States to return a wallet left in his cab a decade ago to its rightful owner. Turns out the wallet belonged to his long lost brother (his name was changed after an adoption), and the two learn that brotherly love and family are the most important things in life.

[Derek]

The Elephant 6 Man

A deformed carnival musician is rescued by Jeff Mangum and becomes one of the most important voices in 90s independent music.

[Derek]

Mild at Heart

Two young lovers flee from the girl's mother and the assassin she hired, but soon give up and decide to see other people.

[D_Davis]

Erasershed

A portal to the never-verse has opened in an old shed that once housed Mr. Smith's lawn mower. Those who enter the shed vanish - you might say they get erased - without a trace.

[D_Davis]

Duke

The first in a series of GI Joe Spin-offs. This film finds Duke locked in an epic battle with Cobra Commander for the control of a substance known only as "the spice."

[Derek]

The Straight Tory

A member of Britain's Tory party travels across the countryside via tractor espousing his belief in conservative principles and royal authority.

[Derek]

The 'blurbs

A young film critic moves into the online community, but an astute film discussion board believes that his poorly written blurbs are a front for a much larger scheme of dumbing down moviegoers. Starring Ben Lyons and MatchCut's own Boner Machinery.

[Kurious Jorge v3.1]

Schindler's Mist - Liam Nieson goes from heartless and profit minded grocery store manager to selfless hero, deciding to save as many cases of Sierra Mist after Pepsi decides to eliminate the soda from their product line, a move Schindler calls "fucking genocide". Schindler last seen wrestling a 24 pack from a Dominick's stocker yelling "I could've saved them all!"

[megladon8]

The Dork Knight - exactly the same premise, script and execution, but Batman/Bruce Wayne is played by Clint Howard.

[Ezee E]

Alice On Wonderland directed by Errol Morris, Alice recounts her "visit" to Wonderland from Ashecliffe Penitentiary with filmed footage of what actually happened versus the acid-tripped mind of Alice's ideas.

[Russ]

Stutter Island - Michael Palin plays a p...p...p...policeman who discovers that he is really a mental p...p...p...p...patient.

[Watashi]

Pogville

On the run from mobsters, Grace arrives in the small town of Pogville where she has to win and keep the acceptance of every inhabitant by competing in the yearly Pogs tournament. As the tournament goes on, she gains the trust of the townspeople, but abuses her powers and cheats in the final game and ends up abused, raped, and humilated.

[Spinal]

Punishment Pork

A group of vegan activists are captured by the military and placed in a confined area with 50 pigs. After giving the pigs a 1 hour head start, the activists and given knives and must hunt down their prey or die of starvation.

Oh, I totally want to see this one.

[Spun Lepton]

Jews
A small coastal town is turned upside-down when a crew of Hollywood filmmakers descend upon it to make a crappy Summer blockbuster.

/definitely going to Hell

[MadMan]

Lord of the Bling-Gandalf shows the world how to do pimpin', big daddy style.

[bac0n]

The da Vinci Chode

Trust me. You don't want to know the plot.

[Spun Lepton]

Watch-hen

All the pimps and pushers and politicians will look up and shout save us, and I'll answer BUH-GAWK!!!!

[Russ]

The Qrazies - As a toxic force begins to turn the members of an online community into violent psychocritics, Moderator Spinal tries to make sense of the situation while he, his partner Raiders, and two other unaffected members, Sven and Derek, band together in a fight for sanity.
























[/all in jest] :lol:

[bac0n]

I Am Regend

Same plot as I Am Legend, except set in Tokyo.

[Spun Lepton]

Avatap
Earthlings invade a planet of blue, 10-foot-tall tap-dancing aliens to mine their planet's resources. Music and dance numbers include titles like, "Me and My Hair-Tentacle," "I Can Hair-Tentacle My Horse," and "I Tamed a Giant Sky Chicken."

[Spun Lepton]

Titanip
Jennifer Lopez shows her breasts for 2 hours.

[Spun Lepton]

I never knew the versatility of the letter P. :D

[Spinal]

I Am Regend

Same plot as I Am Legend, except set in Tokyo.

This is the most shameful thing I will laugh at all day.

[MadMan]

U, Robot

Texting gets out of hand. Way out of hand. Will Smith still says "Ahhh hell naw." Audiences cringe.

[Spun Lepton]

U, Robot

Texting gets out of hand. Way out of hand. Will Smith still says "Ahhh hell naw." Audiences cringe.

I see a shot of a robot looking at their cell phone, and there's a text that says, "O HELL NA"

[Spun Lepton]

Independence Gay
The aliens invade, and girlfriend, they are faaaabulous!!

[Boner M]

Sad Lieutenant: Harvey Keitel investigates the rape and murder of a nun, but it makes him too sad, so he leaves the force.

[Spinal]

Precious: Based on the Novel Posh by Sapphire

Gabourey Sidibe plays Victoria Beckham in a film directed by Todd Solondz.

[MadMan]

I see a shot of a robot looking at their cell phone, and there's a text that says, "O HELL NA"Already sounds better than the actual movie.

[transmogrifier]

Any Given Sundae

Inside the treacherous, back-stabbing, steroid-pumping, cheerleader-banging world of the local ice-cream parlor.

[Morris Schæffer]

Die Bard

A costume drama chronicling the little known attempt on the live of William Shakespeare in the year 1608 by a rival playwright, Francis-Simon Dorcester St. John.

[bac0n]

Dung

Frank Herbert's epic Dune saga re-imagined by Lars Von Trier as a naked woman wailing with grief as she eats a peanut buster parfait whilst sitting on top of a giant piece of doggie poo.

[Russ]

Commie Dearest - in-depth documentary examines the unusual secret relationship between President Reagan and Soviet Premier Gorbachev.

[Wryan]

Little Dieter Needs to Fry

An old man recounts his harrowing ordeal being shot down over Laos and fighting his way out only to be captured by Werner Herzog and trained to replace a short-order chimp cook at a circus diner whose face was burned by boiling fat.

[Raiders]

Japs

A recount by an old, boozy, racist fisherman about the USS Indianapolis and the delivering of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima and the subsequent sinking and shark attacks. Upon a shark attacking his vessel, he goes insane and flashes back to his war days and kidnaps his companions in search of the enemy.

[kuehnepips]

I Am Regend

Same plot as I Am Legend, except set in Tokyo.

*passes bottle*

Cassablanca

Rick Blaine ru(i)ns a casino in Spain.

[Derek]

Cassablanca

Mama Cass is love with Rick and Victor and right before she must choose who she wants to be with, she chokes on a ham sandwich and dies. If directed by Wong Kar-Wai, add 10 instances of "California Dreamin".

[bac0n]

Dung

I think we need to resurrect this old thread in light of recent movies coming out. New synopsis for this one:

Paul Mercedes travels to dessert planet Iraqis where giant worm turds are the most valuable resource in the universe. Can he fulfill his destiny and become the Croissant Haderach?

[Dukefrukem]

Dandyman - all things fine and dandy in the world of Buzz Killington the third. The end.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/97/Dandys_1830.jpg/170px-Dandys_1830.jpg

[megladon8]

Germinator 2: Gudgment Day

[Skitch]

A film about a group of people with an extremely specific fetish: having sex while spraying orange soda over each other.

David Cronenberg's, CRUSH

[megladon8]

Leading off Skitch...

Jeff Goldblum plays a neurotic scientist who has invented a teleportation machine. In his first human test using himself as a guinea pig, his genes are spliced with those of a COVID-19 germ. His girlfriend, played by Geena Davis, must watch in horror as Goldblum infects those around him.

David Cronenberg's...The Flu.

[StanleyK]

The Dork Knight

Instead of beating up bad guys, Batman bores them to death by talking about his Warhammer figurine collection.

[Philip J. Fry]

The Fry

A brilliant but eccentric scientist begins to transform into a giant man/🍟 hybrid after one of his experiments goes horribly wrong.

[Skitch]

Aliens come to Earth and challenge us to a lethal spelling competition.

A Rival

I'm so sorry, I hate myself for that one. Lol

[Philip J. Fry]

Spice Jam

A group of aliens invade Arrakis and in a desperate move, the Atreides family challenges them to a winner-takes-all basketball game for the planet's entire spice supply.