Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Bay, 2011)

[Barty]

Bay is such a hilariously bad storyteller.

Best moment:

When Megatron blows up the Lincoln Statue. See, that means he is really evil.

[Ivan Drago]

I actually agree with Ivan on this one. The first one left me disappointed because the fights looked like Katamari Damacy: Extreme Closeup Edition.

I couldn't make out what was going on during the action scenes at all.

The 2nd one, for all its abhorrent flaws, got most of the action right. The fight in the forest is one of the better executed CGI action scenes I've seen.

. . .I actually love the first. It delivered on its action sequences and giant robot action. I detested the second film though. I have my thoughts on it online somewhere, I'll see if I can find them.

[Henry Gale]

I'm conflicted. I'm comfortable with calling this the best of the three, but since I didn't even like the first two and there's still so much horrible stuff crammed into this one (despite what eventually saves it near the end), I still don't feel fufilled by enough of it overall to really recommend it or even say it's good for what it is.

The last section of the movie in downtown Chicago is indeed pretty spectacular, basically as a showcase for the action-movie potential of this universe, showing everything that can be done when filmmakers are essentially given no limits in terms of budget and scale to play around with. My problem with it all is just that I wish there were more clearly defined stakes with the general story and characters at the centre of it, but I never got that with any of these movies before so I wasn't necessarily disappointed when they didn't start doing so here. It's enormous, it's loud (both visually and audibly), and it looks pretty great, especially from an effects and 3D standpoint, but it's a shame it all started to roll out around the 100 minute mark instead of the 50 or 60 one.

It's just that first hour or so after the space prologue essentially killed any excitement I may have had in me to coast towards a giant climax as well put together as the one the movie has. Like all the stuff Morris and Duke mentioned with the two miniature replacements for the twins from the last movie, Ken Jeong, and whatever other randomness Bay decided to cram in there like the old man during Turturro's O'Reilly Factor interview, it's all just horrible lowest-common-denominator (and vaguely homophobic, racist but mostly just offensively unfunny) stuff. And I even thought Malkovich had his moments, there's so little need for his character to be in the movie, let alone for an actor like him to be in the role. Luckily, Alan Tudyk is the one major bright spot from the comedic end of thing, and they're nice enough to let him stick around all the way until the end, keeping most of his awesomeness intact.

What it comes down to is that this actually had a significant amount of material to make up a good movie, definitely more than the last two for me, but all of the awful things that Bay fell back on in the other ones to needlessly bloat it, or more objectively, ineffectively spend time on a build-up towards the end (whether it's way more characters and subplots than the movie needs or be the "dumb humour" he promised he wouldn't have here) are here to bring the whole thing down in the same ways they did before.

It's silly, and we know what we're going to get out of it before it starts because we've seen it with the previous installments, but it should at least feel more exciting than it does, especially when the scale and general control and scope of presenting it is expanded as much as it is here. At the same time though, I could say the same things about something like Fast Five, but the difference is that Fast Five did its best to get to the point of what it's was there to do (the action, the dick-measuring contests), it had a pace that kept things exciting, and it got it and got out successfully having done those things. With Dark of the Moon, we go in, wait around for a while, cringe, find some amusement in the few action setpieces along the way, wait some more, and then finally begin to see things that we should be entirely wowed, but since it comes at the point it does, we've mostly given up. These movies were made for the home viewing experience, but just in the sense that you have the control to jump to the scenes that are actually worth it. Here, it's the first 15 minutes, then a handful in the middle, and then the end stretch.

Transformers - **
Revenge Of The Fallen - **
Dark Of The Moon - **½

[Morris Schæffer]

Bay is such a hilariously bad storyteller.

Best moment:

When Megatron blows up the Lincoln Statue. See, that means he is really evil.

And then one of the small bots proceeds to lick Abe's decapitated head mumbling something along the lines of what Beavis or Butthead might have said in their day.

[Morris Schæffer]

What did you think of the:

Scene where Sam gets thrown through the air when Bumblebee transformers in mid air to avoid the debris on the highway? That was one of the most impressive 3D shots I've ever seen.

The second most impressive 3D shot I've ever seen I just remembered;The first sky dive scene. There's a part where the Decpticons shoot the side of the building, and dust, glass and shit gets thrown at the camera as the sky divers go right through it. I definitely flinched during that scene.

Yeah, that was a pretty great sequence, but skydiving tops it.

[Henry Gale]

And then one of the small bots proceeds to lick Abe's decapitated head mumbling something along the lines of what Beavis or Butthead might have said in their day.

Yeah, seriously, there's so many "what the fuck are they doing?" moments like that. It's almost impressive.

You can also add to that list (only mild spoilers):

- CG JFK. If you thought Jeff Bridge's CLU looked creepy...

- Optimus Prime's conversation with Buzz Aldrin (played by the real Buzz Aldrin), something like "Sir, you are a true hero. The pleasure is all mine." Wait, why the hell does Optimus Prime give a shit about what Buzz Aldrin ever did?

- That scene where the pterodactyl bot dresses up like a pink version of bumblebee to play with the young girl as a way of getting into her house to kill the parents. Seriously, that's your angle in terms of creating tension for the scene? Also, the first instance of the abrupt cuts to black in the middle of perfectly fluid scenes.

- The awful Ken Jeong "uh-oh looks like gay!" gags from the elevator, to the bathroom stall, and so on. Especially him yelling things like "gaylord" at Shia, which the movie seems to try and justify as a way for him to be alone with the secret LCD decepticon. But then, he had guns all along!

- The decepticon scorpion wrist-watch that seemed like it'd be an intense Crank 2 / Transporter 3 plot device, but just ended up being a character motivation plot hole bandage and little else instead.

- The afformentioned old man moving bricks and ruining John Turturro's character's O'Reilly Factor interview. (Bonus WTF for Bill O'Reilly's cameo, I guess)

- The drone coming in shooting at all the innocent maids and whatnot in Patrick Dempsey's apartment when The Beef rescues The Girl.
I could go on.

[Barty]

I posted this on Facebook.

7 Things I Learned From Transformers: Dark of the Moon

1. Multiple supermodels like to date dorky nerds with no jobs and careers.
2. Hot woman can seduce even robots from space to do their bidding.
3. Autobots are Imperialists.
4. The American Flag always survives total destruction of major cities.
5. Even Optimus Prime tortures and kills enemy combatants without trials.
6. Transformers love decapitations.
7. Everyone who holds major positions of power on Earth in the Transformers universe is batshit insane.

[Morris Schæffer]

There really is footage from The Island in this?!

I thought something looked vaguely familiar during that freeway chase when one of the cars flips over.

[Dukefrukem]

Bay is such a hilariously bad storyteller.

Best moment:

When Megatron blows up the Lincoln Statue. See, that means he is really evil.

Meh. I didn't take it like that. It was a chair that fit his stature.

[Dukefrukem]

There really is footage from The Island in this?!

I thought something looked vaguely familiar during that freeway chase when one of the cars flips over.

Wait what?

Also Barty, I totally forgot about your #2 spoiler above. That is indeed the worst part of the entire movie.

[Morris Schæffer]

Wait what?

Also Barty, I totally forgot about your #2 spoiler above. That is indeed the worst part of the entire movie.

I read this on RT. The guy said there was a short clip from The Island. About 1 second of a car flipping over. I swear that I had deja vu for about a nanosecond when it happened during the movie. You know when that truck drops the train wheels into the path of Hounsou and Others.

[number8]

The first Transformers used footage from Pearl Harbor.

[Dukefrukem]

Watch every Michael Bay movie at once in under 1 minute (http://blastr.com/2011/06/watch-every-michel.php)

[Sxottlan]

"It is a visceral betrayal!"

[Morris Schæffer]

One other thing I noticed was how easily decepticons were dispatched by the autobots. I guess this was to accentuate the baddasness of Optimus, but I thought it was far too swift when it should have felt like the mother of all battles.

[Ivan Drago]

One other thing I noticed was how easily decepticons were dispatched by the autobots. I guess this was to accentuate the baddasness of Optimus, but I thought it was far too swift when it should have felt like the mother of all battles.

That was one of my biggest problems with it too, as well as with Revenge of the Fallen.

[Morris Schæffer]

This is kind of fun

http://www.empireonline.com/features/a-z/michael-bay/default.asp

Empire Magazine's The A to Z of Michael Bay.

He named one of his dogs "Bonecrusher." :D

Tarantino and Sorkin worked on the script for The Rock but were uncredited!!

[angrycinephile]

H7kcqB3thJM

Fail.

[transmogrifier]

That reminds me how much better The Island is than anything else Bay has done.

[Dukefrukem]

Ugg the Island is his second worst movie next to Transformers 2.

[Henry Gale]

Gotta go with Team Trans on this one. It's probably one of the few Bay movies I don't like ironically or enjoy with serious reservations.

That is pretty hilarious though, especially putting the scenes side by side like that.

[Barty]

Tarantino and Sorkin worked on the script for The Rock but were uncredited!!

It all makes sense why the Rock is the only movie of his to get good reviews.

[Morris Schæffer]

That reminds me how much better The Island is than anything else Bay has done.

Not for me. It has less action (and when it happens it is actually sub-par) and is certainly never as stupid as some of the things in transformers 3, but I found it incredibly boring. It flirts with the cerebral, but never actually translates into genuine intrigue. Jablonsky's "My name is lincoln" is unbelievably awesome though.

I'm still going with The Rock.

[Morris Schæffer]

H7kcqB3thJM

Fail.

Aha I knew it! But it changes nothing for me. :D

[TGM]

So surprising even to me, I actually didn't really like this movie. I didn't hate it, but I felt it was by far the weakest of the three movies. After the first two, I instantly felt that I had to see them again. With this one, though, it was hard enough sitting through the first half one time, I couldn't imagine doing it again.

That's basically where this movie suffers, there's about a good hour that really could have been cut out. It just drags on so much that by the time the action finally starts, I just really don't even care anymore.

And when the action does start, it just didn't feel right somehow. It wasn't as exciting. For instance, Optimus' little rampage from the trailer didn't feel nearly as awesome watching it here, and that's sort of how I felt about all of the action. It just felt a little deflated, even if it was more coherent than the previous movies.

I will say this, though, the love interest is about a million times more likable than Megan Fox. Some of the humor works, some of it doesn't, some scenes are cool (Sam being ejected from a transforming Bumblebee was awesome), but a lot of it falls flat. I don't really have much else to say, it was what it was, but this time I actually left the theater disappointed.

[[ETM]]

I only caught the very ending online, and it was incredibly lame. It was so lame and anticlimactic, I don't think I'll bother with the actual film, no matter how good the action is.

[Ivan Drago]

Ugg the Island is his second worst movie next to Transformers 2.

I don't even remember The Island apart from it having the single worst line in the history of cinema.

[angrycinephile]

I don't even remember The Island apart from it having the single worst line in the history of cinema.

Are you referring to "The Island is real, it's you"?

[Stay Puft]

H7kcqB3thJM

Fail.

I don't understand how that insert even makes sense in the second scene. It's supposed to be the car that the first robot flips with the back of his foot? Because there are two cars in that first shot (and a robot!!!!!!) and then none of that is in the insert and then both cars are gone in the subsequent shot?

And I actually plan on seeing this this weekend? :crazy:

[Ivan Drago]

Are you referring to "The Island is real, it's you"?

Yep.

[eternity]

This movie really, really, really tries its hardest to be complete bullshit, doesn't it?

I mean, Ken Jeong deserves an Oscar for this, but god damn.

[Henry Gale]

This movie really, really, really tries its hardest to be complete bullshit, doesn't it?

I mean, Ken Jeong deserves an Oscar for this, but god damn.

I feel like you need to explain this, especially the second part, just a little bit more.

[eternity]

I feel like you need to explain this, especially the second part, just a little bit more.
The film is so unconcerned with having the narrative make any sense. Scenes are thrown in that mean nothing. Elements of the plot are immediately forgotten or completely changed on a dime for no reason. If these films are going to bother having a plot at all, it at least has to have a narrative more coherent than the cinematic equivalent of shoving a square peg into a round hole. It's three hours of completely incomprehensible CGI mixed with scenes of tone-deaf banality, anyway, so the fact that the film still sucks even when you "turn your mind off" just makes it all worse.

The Ken Jeong thing was a joke. Every moment he was in the film made me giddy though. Same with Malkovich and Alan Tudyk.

[Henry Gale]

The film is so unconcerned with having the narrative make any sense. Scenes are thrown in that mean nothing. Elements of the plot are immediately forgotten or completely changed on a dime for no reason. If these films are going to bother having a plot at all, it at least has to have a narrative more coherent than the cinematic equivalent of shoving a square peg into a round hole. It's three hours of completely incomprehensible CGI mixed with scenes of tone-deaf banality, anyway, so the fact that the film still sucks even when you "turn your mind off" just makes it all worse.

Alright yeah, I would agree with all of this. It's all of that sort of failure in the first two thirds that essentially made me give up on it, but then once the final Chicago battle section rolled around, despite having no emotional stakes in it, I did suddenly find myself being entertained (in an admittedly superficial way). It's the only thing that really gives the movie some identity and justification for existing outside of being the logical financial step after the first two movies.

I can't remember the last time I felt as impressed by endless scenes of things going boom. Bay & co. should have definitely found a way of just making that extended climax come way sooner in the movie, seeing as it's the best setpiece in the entire series and the only chunk of the movie that I thought really worked on a simple visceral level, even though I could have cared less as to why certain people were there, why they may have been changing sides at any given moment, what the hell the beacons were supposed to do, etc.


The Ken Jeong thing was a joke. Every moment he was in the film made me giddy though. Same with Malkovich and Alan Tudyk.

See, I'll agree with Tudyk, Malkovich and even the ten seconds given to Andy Daly, but to me Jeong was once again trying way too hard, and it didn't help that all the material given to him was as horrible and juvenile as it was. Between this, The Hangover movies, what I saw of him horribly hosting that music awards show recently (I think it was Billboard), and even him continuing to be my least favourite actor on Community, I think I'm officially sick of him.

[[ETM]]

But guys... the blonde model tells the bad guy he's someone's bitch, which basically ends the movie?

Come on.

[Henry Gale]

;357869']But guys... the blonde model tells the bad guy he's someone's bitch, which basically ends the movie?
Come on.
Even worse, that moment was met to several "OOOOHHH [shit]" reactions in my audience. These movies clearly bring out the worst in people, both onscreen and off.

[eternity]

Can someone explain to me

How Dempsey's threat to Sam/Megan Fox 2 was credible? Pretty sure that if Sam were to succeed in betraying Optimus, his gal pal was going to die anyway, as would just about everyone else if Sentinel and the Decepticons were able to take over the planet.

Speaking of that, Optimus and company saying "We're not going to do anything. Bye now." and then randomly saying "NOPE JUST KIDDING" ... I'm sorry, what?

[eternity]

I just read a claim that parts of the scores for The Dark Knight were used, along with the well-discussed usage of a scene from The Island.

On top of that, it was when Mind Heist started playing that I finally decided to walk out, sit in the lobby for about a minute and put myself back together, and walk back in for the last sixteen hours of the film.

[Morris Schæffer]

I just read a claim that parts of the scores for The Dark Knight were used, along with the well-discussed usage of a scene from The Island.

On top of that, it was when Mind Heist started playing that I finally decided to walk out, sit in the lobby for about a minute and put myself back together, and walk back in for the last sixteen hours of the film.

You're a real hero dawg! :D

[Barty]

I just read a claim that parts of the scores for The Dark Knight were used, along with the well-discussed usage of a scene from The Island.

On top of that, it was when Mind Heist started playing that I finally decided to walk out, sit in the lobby for about a minute and put myself back together, and walk back in for the last sixteen hours of the film.

Don't blame Jablonsky, the man is a great composer, but obviously had to weave his themes into temp track love this time. His score for the first Transformers and the Island are great, easily the best part of those movies.

[Kiusagi]

I couldn't help but find it funny when Patrick Dempsey told the Decepticons to kill the prisoners, as if they take orders from him.

I actually enjoyed Alan Tudyk in this. Out of the few times I actually laughed, most were because of him. And I kinda liked Frances McDormand in this. Not because the role was good, but there's something fun about seeing indie-type actors appear in a blockbuster. With her, John Turturro, and John Malkovich appearing, maybe Michael Bay is a fan of Coen brothers' films...?

But yes, this gets a "meh" from me, for reasons that have already been covered in this thread.

[Fezzik]

I actually quite liked this one. It's not a great film by any means - and it has a lot of the same problems as the previous two (and one new one...Ken Jeong. Ugh), but I liked the action and the effects were actually quite staggering in places.

[Fezzik]

I couldn't help but find it funny when Patrick Dempsey told the Decepticons to kill the prisoners, as if they take orders from him.

I actually enjoyed Alan Tudyk in this.

Alan Tudyk was the best thing about the movie for me.

"I'm sorry, that was the...old me." :P:lol:

[Morris Schæffer]

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/jason-statham-a-possible-transformers-4-lead-14083

Haha, the Stath might lead in part 4.:D

[Ivan Drago]

http://www.latinoreview.com/news/jason-statham-a-possible-transformers-4-lead-14083

Haha, the Stath might lead in part 4.:D

YES.

[TGM]

A Transformers movie with Jason Statham? Much as I'd like for this franchise to at least take a little break, that does sound interesting.

[Ezee E]

Alright, time to get fooled again.

[Ezee E]

Eek. i didn't think it would be THIS bad. I was hoping for at least some solid action scenes, and didn't even get that.

I really have no idea what was happening. The action pieces are rather boring, and outside of the aerial skydiving in 3D, there was nothing to be impressed by.

The only thing this movie did was give us a few years of Rosie Huntington-Whitely, who was about the only character grounded in some type of reality, even though she seemed to disagree that her character would never be so stupified.

Yeesh.

[transmogrifier]

I was going to say, the best thing about these threads is that it stands as a record documenting the curious phenomenon of trailer-induced amnesia. It's like the first two movies didn't exist (and didn't have trailers that looked exactly the same as this one)

When I'm right, I'm right.

[Raiders]

I knew it would suck, but peer pressure man. Couldn't be helped.

[Ezee E]

When I'm right, I'm right.
Trailer induced amnesia is right.

Still regretting this heavily.

[Stay Puft]

I saw this voluntarily and regret nothing!

[Sven]

Has Armond's review of this film been mentioned yet? It's pretty awesome.

[Morris Schæffer]

Eek. i didn't think it would be THIS bad. I was hoping for at least some solid action scenes, and didn't even get that.


Weird how opinions can differ. You were looking for merely "solid" in the action stakes but weren't even impressed by the collapsing building which I thought was exemplary FX work. Although granted, it's all in the name of superficial, "not-really-all-that" thrilling destruction.

[number8]

I will most likely never see this movie. I am determined to defy trans.

[eternity]

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's character took the Bay staple of "girl is smart because she wears glasses" to another level. She was barely old enough to drink yet every scene she's in, someone brings up another terrific thing she's done in her career, as if she's some sort of super wunderkind. I kept calling her "Prime Minister", considering how she seemed to be the head of everything except a country, and it was only a matter of time.

This movie sucks.

[Ezee E]

I figured it was just everyone sucking up to her in hopes that they could fuck her later.

[Morris Schæffer]

I figured it was just everyone sucking up to her in hopes that they could fuck her later.

And bring down the wrath of The Stath upon them in the process.:D

I can just about picture Jason standing next to Bay intoning that he's got about five seconds to get her hands of his girl. Bay stares at Jason, The Stath spontaneously combusts.

[transmogrifier]

I will most likely never see this movie. I am determined to defy trans.

Ah, then you would fit right in with the classes I have to teach every single day.

[EvilShoe]

I watched this one earlier on, thinking it'd be a good idea to watch a trashy action movie to get over my hangover.

Instead I ended up vomiting, and am now dealing with one of the worst headaches in my life.

Thank you, Michael Bay.

[Kurosawa Fan]

POST MORE.

[EvilShoe]

POST MORE.That's pretty much all there is to the story, though.

[Kurosawa Fan]

That's pretty much all there is to the story, though.

I'm sure you're leaving out a lot of detail. Don't play coy with me.

[Raiders]

Not to mention the other Transformers films are bound to be better rewatches and you need to see those and report back. And I mean, come on, Bad Boys 2.

[EvilShoe]

I'm sure you're leaving out a lot of detail. Don't play coy with me.
It was supposed to be a quiet Friday night. After all: I had a mission at hand. My best friend had decided to take his girlfriend on a little road trip to the Netherlands. In their absence I had been chosen to both housesit and catsit. The house didn't require much attention; the cat did.

For reasons unknown my friend had picked up a cat somewhere (don't ask me where, this was a while ago. I think it came from the shelter), even though he lacked the proper space for it. There was no backyard for it to roam around in, so all it could do was explore the building to which it had been relocated.

I believe that's what made the cat lose its sanity. Never before have I seen a creature so obsessed with my every movement. (And yes, I've had my share of needy girlfriends.)

There I sat: trying to write letters of application, whilst trying to ignore the random glances shot in my direction. The cat did not want to play. It also did not seem to dislike me because I was taking up space in the house that could've been his that weekend. I felt uncomfortable around it, so I decided to watch a movie.

Whilst browsing through my media folder, I stumbled upon Michael Bay's Transformers 3. I remember disliking the ones that preceded it, but I figured I'd be best off watching a movie where it didn't matter if I got distracted.

I was about an hour and a half into the movie, when another one of my friends texted me, inviting me to come out for a couple of drinks. I declined at first, as it seemed quite cold outside.

He sent me another text, saying another friend of mine was there as well. I hadn't seen that person in over a year, so I figured it'd be quite rude of me to decline the offer a second time.

I paused the movie, and made my way towards our rendez-vous point. It was indeed quite cold, but Black Keys' El Camino managed to make me ignore that somewhat. After all, it was an album I associated with immense heat; an album I had listened to often during the Australian summer whilst driving around in a car that lacked a proper A/C unit.

When I got there it seemed as if the chatter was already winding down. I was kind of relieved, as I did not want to have a big night out. My friend did, however. He has been in a relationship for ages now, and seizes every opportunity to have a big night. I should've remembered.

It didn't take long until we ended up in one of those bars where lonely 30-something women make out with whichever guy lasts the longest in embarrassing himself through bizarre dance rituals. Not my scene, but I can never refuse alcohol. And there was plenty going around.

After that the night got a bit hazy. Before I knew it I was involved in a conversation with a girl from the area I grew up in. There's a reason I've never had a girlfriend from that area: they are deadly boring. The first thing she asked was my name. Then my job. Gone were my days of being a solitary traveler, when I was being admired for how little money mattered to me. I had arrived in opposite-land.

Even under the influence of alcohol (lots of it) I would've preferred doing something more worthwhile. Such as finishing Transformers 3. I headed off for a quick burger, and then returned back to my temporary home.

I attempted to finish Bay's movie then and there, but was unable to focus. It seemed I had been drinking more than I had realized at the time. Still, I did not feel nauseous at all. I did not turn off the movie; it kept playing. By that time I had passed out already though.

This morning I woke up feeling quite hung-over. I felt out of it, and was exhausted. I felt very lucky for not having a headache though.

I decided to try and watch the last hour of Transformers 3 again. It seemed like a good idea, as dumb action movies have always worked better for me when my brain is malfunctioning.

Bad idea. After half an hour the headache struck me. It was an unbelievably sharp pain that I have not experienced in ages. I suffered through it, thinking it was going to go away. I did not want to pause the movie, because then I would have to finish it another time. I just wanted to get it over with.

When the Decepticons started setting up pillars to bring Cybertron to our world, I started to feel even worse. I experienced nausea. This can happen if I drink excessively. The thing is, though: when it does, it happens the same night. I can't remember the last time I felt nauseous the day after.

I ignored my symptoms, and struggled through the movie. I felt as if someone was stabbing my brain repeatedly, and that person's smaller brother was punching me in the stomach.

Finally the credits came on. Maybe it was the bonus scene that pushed me over the edge: John Torturro and Frances McDormand hamming it up massively.

It was then I began running towards the toilet.

Raiders: I am afraid that if I revisit those movies, I will die. My body has become allergic to Michael Bay movies. I've already asked my friends to hide any of his movies that they own. I think just seeing the DVD covers may cause me to collapse right then and there.

[Kurosawa Fan]

You get rep for the Black Keys mention, but I still think the story could have used more detail. Was the friend whom you hadn't seen in a year grateful at your having come out that night? How did the girl from your area deal with your indifference/rejection? What did you have on the burger, and was it worth eating, seeing as it came back up?

Seriously, if you're going to pop back in from time to time, at least put some fucking effort into your posts.

[Skitch]

Man, I really wish you had been in our fantasy movie draft game.

[EvilShoe]

You get rep for the Black Keys mention, but I still think the story could have used more detail. Was the friend whom you hadn't seen in a year grateful at your having come out that night? How did the girl from your area deal with your indifference/rejection? What did you have on the burger, and was it worth eating, seeing as it came back up?

Seriously, if you're going to pop back in from time to time, at least put some fucking effort into your posts.
I... I don't know what you want from me.

[Morris Schæffer]

I... I don't know what you want from me.

He hasn't been himself lately. We're concerned for him frankly, but at a loss of how to deal with it. Don't worry too much.

[Kurosawa Fan]

I... I don't know what you want from me.

I just want things between us to be like they used to be.

[Scar]

I just want things between us to be like they used to be.

On Naboo?

[Kurosawa Fan]

YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!!

[Skitch]

*flashback to Windu, training*

"You know, I think I really like purple."

[EvilShoe]

I'm sorry K_Fan, but in my updated memories I have replaced you with Greta Gerwig and a CGI gopher.

[Kurosawa Fan]

I'm sorry K_Fan, but in my updated memories I have replaced you with Greta Gerwig and a CGI gopher.

Does the gopher at least have my eyes?

[EvilShoe]

Does the gopher at least have my eyes?
It has one of your eyes.
http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/3196/goph.jpg

[Kurosawa Fan]

That makes me feel a lot better.

[Irish]

I spent the last week in a warm climate, drinking a lot of beer and sitting by the ocean.

Late night I'd watch shitty movies. This was one of them.

Some observations:

- People really need to stop hiring Leonard Nimoy.

- Everything Optimus Prime says in this movie seems oddly disconnected from the rest of the action. Like they wrote & recorded his dialogue after principal photography & the effects were finished. I burst out laughing every time he spat out some inane, ham handed attempt at fortune cookie profundity.

- Shia LaBoef has serious balls for publicly taking Steven Spielberg to task for Indy IV while continuing to star in movies like this.

- The bent/sloped building sequence in the third act was a really clever concept for an action sequence, but filmed in a terribly dull way.

- What was the purpose of Malchovich's character? Or really, any of the human actors?

[Dukefrukem]

Is Huge Weaving losing it? I didn't post his Red Skull rant earlier this week but this one is even stranger.


"That's a weird job for me because it honestly was a two-hour voice job, initially. I was doing a play and I actually didn't have time, anyway. It was one of the only things I've ever done where I had no knowledge of it, I didn't care about it, I didn't think about it. They wanted me to do it. In one way, I regret that bit. I don't regret doing it, but I very rarely do something if it's meaningless. It was meaningless to me, honestly. I don't mean that in any nasty way. I did it. It was a two-hour voice job, while I was doing other things. Of course, it's a massive film that's made masses of money. I just happened to be the voice of one of the iconic villainous characters. But, my link to that and to Michael Bay is so minimal. I have never met him. I was never on set. I've seen his face on Skype. I know nothing about him, really. I just went in and did it. I never read the script. I just have my lines, and I don't know what they mean. That sounds absolutely pathetic! I've never done anything like that, in my life. It's hard to say any more about it than that, really."

Michael Bay responds...


"Do you ever get sick of actors that make $15 million a picture, or even $200,000 for voiceover work that took a brisk one hour and 43 minutes to complete, and then complain about their jobs? With all the problems facing our world today, do these grumbling thespians really think people reading the news actually care about trivial complaints that their job wasn't 'artistic enough' or 'fulfilling enough'? I guess The Hollywood Reporter thinks so.

"What happened to people who had integrity, who did a job, got paid for their hard work, and just smiled afterward? Be happy you even have a job - let alone a job that pays you more than 98% of the people in America.

"I have a wonderful idea for all those whiners: They can give their 'unhappy job money' to a wonderful Elephant Rescue. It's the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Africa. I will match the funds they donate."

[number8]

Why is that strange? It's a perfectly reasonable answer.

[Dead & Messed Up]

If there's a complaint in there, it's a very quiet one, and it seems more leveled at himself than at Bay.

[Raiders]

Who the hell created that drama? Weaving's answer is nothing if not humble about admitting his own lack of knowledge or interest in it. He just kind of did it and he seems to be reacting to how iconic it has become for something he was barely involved in.

Bay is such a whiny ass.

[Dukefrukem]

He really is... he seems to be the only director that get's offended when anyone doesn't say positive things about his movies...

[Mr. McGibblets]

he seems to be the only director that get's offended when anyone doesn't say positive things about his movies...

At least he is not challenging people to boxing matches over it.

[Irish]

Who the hell created that drama? Weaving's answer is nothing if not humble about admitting his own lack of knowledge or interest in it. He just kind of did it and he seems to be reacting to how iconic it has become for something he was barely involved in.

Bay is such a whiny ass.

There's a couple of different ways to look at it. Weaving's comments seem innocuous at first but professionally, I think he was waaaaaay out of line.

He's basically dissing Bay's project publicly, and he's doing it from a weak position. The guy is, despite fanboy acclaim, nothing more than a character actor. AFAIK, he's never had real skin in the game.

So from that point of view, it's pretty shitty for him to trivialize a very large project that many people worked on, and that Bay himself probably devoted 2+ years of his life to.

If someone did that to me in a similar context, I'd be pissed.

[number8]

Paul Bettany said the exact same thing about his role in Iron Man and Avengers, by the way. You don't see Favreau or Whedon getting pissy about it.

It's a quick non-committal job for them where they didn't even know what the story was because they only got their lines, no one else's, and read it in front of a mic effortlessly for an hour and change. Of course it's meaningless. In Bettany's case, for the first Iron Man, he literally didn't even know what movie it was for. His friend Jon Favreau just handed him a piece of paper and asked him to read it. He said he was shocked that Marvel sent him the full script for The Avengers because that didn't happen for the Iron Man movies.

[number8]

Also, 10 bucks says the question that prompted Weaving's answer was, "What was it like working with Michael Bay?"

[Mr. McGibblets]

So from that point of view, it's pretty shitty for him to trivialize a very large project that many people worked on, and that Bay himself probably devoted 2+ years of his life to.

He's only trivializing his part in the movie. He says nothing about the project overall.

[Dukefrukem]

Paul Bettany said the exact same thing about his role in Iron Man and Avengers, by the way. You don't see Favreau or Whedon getting pissy about it.

I am volunteering to make myself look silly here by saying I always thought Jarvis was voiced by Jude Law.

[number8]

I am volunteering to make myself look silly here by saying I always thought Jarvis was voiced by Jude Law.

Racist.

[Irish]

Paul Bettany said the exact same thing about his role in Iron Man and Avengers, by the way. You don't see Favreau or Whedon getting pissy about it.

I don't see Bettany, as an actor, or Jarvis, as a character, in the same league as Weaving & Megatron. So I think that comparison is a little weak.

This is like if James Earl Jones came out after Empire was released and was all, "I know right? Shocking. But I'll tell you what, I did that in like 20 minutes. Didn't even read the the whole script."


He's only trivializing his part in the movie. He says nothing about the project overall.

But the implication is there, because there's a read on those statements that says Weaving didn't work at it and didn't take it seriously. Regardless whether or not that's true, it's not something you'd really want to say to an interviewer.

Granted, Bay is a hothead so he's fueling the fire here too, but still ...

[number8]

Pfthh, nobody got mad when Michael Caine implied the same thing about Jaws 4: The Revenge.

[Mr. McGibblets]

But the implication is there, because there's a read on those statements that says Weaving didn't work at it and didn't take it seriously. Regardless whether or not that's true, it's not something you'd really want to say to an interviewer.

I don't know how people doing a few pages of voice acting usually do it, but I would guess that it's pretty common for them not to prepare much or work hard. If it's standard practice then it doesn't imply much about this particular film.

[baby doll]

it's pretty shitty for him to trivialize a very large project that many people worked on, and that Bay himself probably devoted 2+ years of his life to.I'm pretty sure that all the people who worked on the movie got paid pretty well for it. It's not like the guys setting up the craft services table or hauling C-stands out of a truck really give a shit about the movie they're working on; they're just union people doing a job. Even if Paramount had shelved the picture and burned the negative, it wouldn't have mattered the slightest to most of the people involved as long as they got a pay check for it. If you asked them about the movie, they'd probably say the same thing that Weaving said.

[megladon8]

I was more surprised when Morgan Freeman (the man who has been in such turds as Eyebrows (I mean, Dreamcatcher), High Crimes and Chain Reaction) stated that Nolan's Batman movies were the first time in his career that he did something just for the paycheck.

[Dead & Messed Up]

I was more surprised when Morgan Freeman (the man who has been in such turds as Eyebrows (I mean, Dreamcatcher), High Crimes and Chain Reaction) stated that Nolan's Batman movies were the first time in his career that he did something just for the paycheck.

Link?

[megladon8]

Link?


I'll search. It was something he said back when he did The Dark Knight.

Said that he had pretty much zero interest in the work on those films, he just thought the pay was nice.

[number8]

It was back when he first got the role in Batman Begins, which is understandable, given that it's a Batman movie.


"I haven't been asked to play in any of the major blockbuster
types of movie - Batman, SUPERMAN, SPIDERMAN, STAR WARS, any of that.

"ALEC GUINNESS, who was one of England's most admired and able character
actors, played OBI-WAN KENOBI in STAR WARS.

"He said he made more money off that movie than he'd made in all the
movies he'd made prior to that. So I thought okay, my shot."

He's changed his mind since, obviously, since all the critical acclaim.

[Irish]

I'm pretty sure that all the people who worked on the movie got paid pretty well for it. It's not like the guys setting up the craft services table or hauling C-stands out of a truck really give a shit about the movie they're working on; they're just union people doing a job. Even if Paramount had shelved the picture and burned the negative, it wouldn't have mattered the slightest to most of the people involved as long as they got a pay check for it. If you asked them about the movie, they'd probably say the same thing that Weaving said.

I'm not sure who you're including in "all the people." I can't speak of teamsters; those guys operate in a different universe.

But the below the line artisans, craftsman, and creatives aren't wealthy, million dollar employees. They're people making an admittedly comfortable living but the trade off is in the "living" -- lots of travel, hard deadlines, and long, long hours. Nobody builds the required skill set and approaches a twenty year career of sixteen hour days, six days a week in a whim or solely for the money (which in many cases, isn't all that).

These people also tend to be very sensitive about their work, and like any professional want to do it well. It's not really about the money (although money is always nice).

Sure, there are edge cases and one-off examples of people who will do a project solely for a paycheck. But I bristle a bit at the implication that making that choice means they were cavalier about the final product. I've never met any kind of serious professional who approaches their worklife that way, because doing that means, on some level, admitting to yourself that you're a hack. And creatives would rather die than do that.

[max314]

Michael Bay is immature? I, for one, am shocked.