Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

[Morris Schæffer]

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42325

Still waiting for a second Master & Commander flick...

[dreamdead]

Depp needs a straight man to ground his routine with this character, but it would be nice to have someone less lifeless than Bloom's acting style. Hopefully they'll remedy that here. That said, I have no desire to ever finish up the initial trilogy and see the third film.

[Dukefrukem]

This will make tons of money and suck horribly.

[megladon8]

DO NOT CARE

[Sycophant]

FOTY 2011.

[Dead & Messed Up]

It's like studios have an innate knowledge of what I want and promptly give me the opposite.

[number8]

Johnny Depp already said he'll make 12 of these as long as they stay popular.

I prefer the porn, personally.

[lovejuice]

this is not a good news even for a fan like me.

[MadMan]

It will most likely suck. And this is coming from someone who liked the first two, and thought the third was alright/decent.

[Sycophant]

Man, you guys are bringing out the contrarian in me. This movie's gonna be so good.

[MadMan]

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42325

Still waiting for a second Master & Commander flick...Oh and I'm still waiting for a second Master and Commander movie, too. But I doubt it will happen any time soon, which is a damn shame.

[Morris Schæffer]

Some interesting bits about the what could be the story:


Johnny Depp sailed into the all-things-Disney D23 convention at the tail end of last week, in full Jack Sparrow regalia, to help announce that the fourth film in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise is officially slated for release in summer 2011. It also now has a subtitle: On Stranger Tides.

And with those words, all of a sudden, as if by magic, Pirates 4 is a far more enticing prospect that we might previously have thought, because On Stranger Tides is a very excellent, Locus Award-winning novel by Tim Powers, so we're guessing that its plot is being twisted to fit the Pirates franchise.

First published in 1988, the novel's protagonist is the puppeteer turned accountant John Chandagnac, later aka Jack Shandy, who while on a trip to confront his nefarious uncle about some dodgy family business, is waylaid by pirates and ultimately ends up captaining the crew.

What ensues is a search for the legendary Fountain of Youth incorporating voodoo, zombies, a dastardly one-armed Oxbridge professor, and a number of real historical characters, such as Bahamian governor Woodes Rogers, the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon, and best of all, the supernaturally beleaguered arch-pirate Edward "Blackbeard" Thatch.

You may recall, if you were still awake, that as the credits rolled on At World's End, we had just left Cap'n Jack Sparrow en-route for the Fountain of Youth. Powers' novel will obviously require some re-fitting to replace Shandy with Sparrow (if that's the plan), but the rest of the book is incredibly well-placed to slot fairly effortlessly into the POTC mythos (it even has an insipid heroine that you kind of wish would bugger off).

Anyone who ever pointed and clicked at The Curse of Monkey Island may also be stoked to learn that Ron Gilbert cites On Stranger Tides as a key influence on the Lucasarts game series. A fan on the Lucasarts messageboards says that he met Powers earlier in the year at a convention, and that the author told him he'd signed the book over to Disney on the proviso that he got to be an extra in the movie (that and a fat wad of cash, we'd assume). Dude, you didn't think to mention this earlier?!

Sadly, the book is not currently available in the UK, so if you want to do your homework you'll have to shell out for a second-hand copy or get a rather pricey small-press edition from the States. Or you could try Powers' earlier The Anubis Gates, which won the Philip K Dick award and is easily available in Gollancz' Fantasy Masterworks series. Somehow though, we doubt On Stranger Tides will stay out of print for long.

[Morris Schæffer]

Not too interested in this, but if they keep coming up with stuff like this, my interest will certainly not plummet any further.

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=27105

[Ezee E]

Ian McShane makes me very interested in this.

[Dukefrukem]

I will pirate this... bwhahaa.

[Rowland]

I didn't even like the first one very much, skipped the sequels. *shrug*

[Wryan]

Well of course Ian McShane will be Blackbeard. He sorta must, mustn't he? As long as they restrain themselves just a little bit this time out, maybe this stuff could be fun again.

[angrycinephile]

It would be worth it for two things; a new Hans Zimmer score and Mark Kermode having another serious meltdown reviewing it.

But with a new director and Bloom and Knightley not returning perhaps there's some potential here. If it's shorter than 100 minutes I might see it.

[Ezee E]

Who is the director?

[angrycinephile]

Who is the director?

Rob Marshall of Chicago and Nine fame.

I wonder if it will be a pirate musical.

[[ETM]]

It would be worth it for two things; a new Hans Zimmer score...

Heh.

[number8]

Rob Marshall? Cool. Maybe he'll cast Penelope Cruz as the Queen of England.

[bac0n]

Make Sharktopus the main villain and you got my ass in a seat.

[megladon8]

It would be nice if they shortened it a bit.

All three of the Pirates movies are way too long. The third one was ungodly.

[Adam]

Johnny Depp! You hoople-headed cocksuckaaa...

[KK2.0]

It would be nice if they shortened it a bit.

All three of the Pirates movies are way too long. The third one was ungodly.

i actually liked 3 better than 2 but yeah, way too long, even the first one.

[Dead & Messed Up]

There's a great hundred-minute charmer somewhere inside the first film.

[megladon8]

i actually liked 3 better than 2 but yeah, way too long, even the first one.


I liked the third better than the second as well, but the second was abysmal.

Third was OK, but about an hour overlong.

[KK2.0]

There's a great hundred-minute charmer somewhere inside the first film.

i believe most of the recent crop of three-hour length popcorn movies would benefit greatly of a serious re-cut.

[Ezee E]

Rob Marshall? Cool. Maybe he'll cast Penelope Cruz as the Queen of England.
..............

Just announced.

She's going to be Blackbeard's daughter.

[number8]

Huh.

[Dead & Messed Up]

i believe most of the recent crop of three-hour length popcorn movies would benefit greatly of a serious re-cut.

No kidding. You know it's bad when it extends even to 160-minute Transformers epics.

[number8]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1318516/Johnny-Depps-surprise-visit-London-primary-school-Captain-Jack-Sparrow.html

Cute.

[Morris Schæffer]

http://impawards.com/2011/pirates_of_the_caribbean_on_st ranger_tides.html

Teaser poster

[Dukefrukem]

The skull is shiny

[B-side]

The fact that Ian McShane is in this, and playing Blackbeard no less, guarantees my ass in a seat.

[MadMan]

Looking back, I like the second more than the first, even though the first is a much better movie. The third, well, I have no desire to ever set through it again.

Unless it pops up on USA and I'm too drunk to change the channel.....

[number8]

Looking back, I like the second more than the first, even though the first is a much better movie.

I, too, often don't like it when movies are better.

[MadMan]

I, too, often don't like it when movies are better.I still don't see why favorite=best. But I keep encountering this everywhere.

[Dukefrukem]

I still don't see why favorite=best. But I keep encountering this everywhere.

I think you just may have solved why I prefer Last Crusade over RotA.

[Irish]

The fact that Ian McShane is in this, and playing Blackbeard no less, guarantees my ass in a seat.

My fear is that they're going to waste his appearance, like they did with Chow Yun Fat in "At World's End."

[Dukefrukem]

There's going to be two more after this?!

[MadMan]

There's going to be two more after this?!Of course, so long as the movies keep making money. Depp's fangirl base will ensure to that.

[Morris Schæffer]

http://www.empireonline.com/images/image_index/hw800/47011.jpg

http://www.empireonline.com/images/image_index/hw800/47007.jpg

http://www.empireonline.com/images/image_index/hw800/47008.jpg

http://www.empireonline.com/images/image_index/hw800/47009.jpg

[Kurosawa Fan]

Penelope Cruz is so damn hot. I've only seen the first one, which I didn't like, but seeing her in this makes me want to check this one out.

[D_Davis]

Penelope Cruz is so damn hot. I've only seen the first one, which I didn't like, but seeing her in this makes me want to check this one out.

She's pretty much the hottest.

I just really hope this movie is really long and somewhat mediocre.

[Irish]

Frankly, she's needs to be in a corset. Or something.

I mean, you've got her in a period action movie ... and you dress her like a man? Whose idea what that?

Also, from the pictures Depp is dangerously close to becoming a caricature of himself.

[megladon8]

Frankly, she's needs to be in a corset. Or something.

I mean, you've got her in a period action movie ... and you dress her like a man? Whose idea what that?

She's a pirate. She wouldn't dress like a "lady".

[Irish]

She's a pirate. She wouldn't dress like a "lady".

Hm. Good point. I hadn't considered that.

Still, I'm feeling at a loss over this missed opportunity for Cruz-level cleavage.

[Winston*]

I'll see it if it's less than two hours long, which I guess means I won't see it. I still like Depp in these movies.

[Ezee E]

The term "pirate hooker" exists for a reason, and Penelope Cruz's character should be the embodiment of it.

[Sycophant]

http://www.empireonline.com/images/image_index/hw800/47007.jpg


In a better world, this movie would run 90 minutes, be best summed up by this image, and be structured like a Hope/Crosby "Road to" movie.

[megladon8]

Hm. Good point. I hadn't considered that.

Still, I'm feeling at a loss over this missed opportunity for Cruz-level cleavage.


Cruz sitting on the toilet in a very...um...busty outfit in Volver = droolworthy.

[Henry Gale]

Frankly, she's needs to be in a corset. Or something.

I mean, you've got her in a period action movie ... and you dress her like a man? Whose idea what that?

She's a pirate. She wouldn't dress like a "lady".

Also, I'm pretty sure that real life Penelope was pregnant during filming. Such crazy ideas for wardrobe are now anxiously on hold for Pirates 5.

[TGM]

Trailer's out: http://www.slashfilm.com/pirates-caribbean-stranger-tides-trailer/

Pretty much, they should have ended after the first. I was interested when they said it'd just be Depp and Rush, without Bloom or Knightly returning. But that trailer really doesn't look too good at all. I'll probably see it, but I'm going in with low expectations at this point.

[Watashi]

I think it has potential.

[[ETM]]

I think it has potential.

http://loyalkng.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/im-18-do-i-have-potential-404pirate.jpg

[Duncan]

Johnny Depp, Ian McShane, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush...

Damn. I wish those four actors were in a movie I actually wanted to see.

[Henry Gale]

"Suggested by the novel by..." is a really strange credit instead of just saying they adapted it. Even if it was more like they were writing the film, found out there was a book very much like it (also surrounding pirates and the fountain of youth), bought the rights to that novel, then subtitled the movie as the same thing.

But in terms of this series, the only one of the first three I didn't care for was the second, and this looks a little less "end-of-world, stakes are sky high" than either of the sequels and more like the first one. The footage looks fine, though just edited to hit very general blockbuster movie-trailer rhythm. Best thing I can say is that it seemed to have a lot of variety of locations and tone to it, which I can hope for in something that'll likely end up on the steeper side of two to three hours.

I'm definitely not against seeing it, unless it gets reviews similar to The Tourist or something.

[Morris Schæffer]

This does look more boring than the previous two.

[TGM]

This trailer just makes me think of At World's End. But the funny thing is, while AWE was a convoluted mess, you'd never know that based on that movie's trailer. AWE's trailer was freaking epic, and made the movie look like something you just couldn't miss.

The fact that they're supposedly going back to basics with this fourth installment, and yet already the trailer looks like an absolute mess, I can't help but worry about the quality of this film.

[Dukefrukem]

Trailer's out: http://www.slashfilm.com/pirates-caribbean-stranger-tides-trailer/

Pretty much, they should have ended after the first. I was interested when they said it'd just be Depp and Rush, without Bloom or Knightly returning. But that trailer really doesn't look too good at all. I'll probably see it, but I'm going in with low expectations at this point.

God how I wish they did. The 2nd two movies have zero redeeming qualities. Depp's performance in the first movie was totally original and unexpected which is why I liked it so much. Plus they played tribute to the Pirates ride at Disney; dog holding keys to the jail cell, singing the Pirates song etc.


Why is Rush in this movie? Is he not a skeleton pirate anymore?

[Wryan]

Trailer made me laugh. I think it'll be fun again. I mean, Bloom and Knightly aren't in it, doing their usual crap. Lotta great actors. I would keep watching these movies, at least once in theaters, if they keep making em.

[TGM]

Why is Rush in this movie? Is he not a skeleton pirate anymore?


Nah, that "curse" ended after the first movie.

[B-side]

I think it looks like fun.

I also liked At World's End.

[Morris Schæffer]

Trailer made me laugh. I think it'll be fun again. I mean, Bloom and Knightly aren't in it, doing their usual crap. Lotta great actors. I would keep watching these movies, at least once in theaters, if they keep making em.

Yeah, but you've got the lead doing his usual crap. I like Depp, but is his Sparrow still funny?

[Skitch]

Hmm. Looks like a Pirates movie.

[MadMan]

This one might actually be really entertaining throughout. Hopefully more of the 1st and 2nd movies and less of the 3rd film, which even though I liked it was really dull for a good chunk of the movie.

[Sxottlan]

I don't know about this one. Looks fairly unremarkable.

[Morris Schæffer]

Part V being prepped:

http://www.empireonline.com/news/story.asp?NID=29892

Terry Rossio hired to start penning!

Now if only they could NOT make this one, but instead make another Master & Commander.

[Dukefrukem]

Pirates V > Master & Commander

[Wryan]

Yeah, but you've got the lead doing his usual crap. I like Depp, but is his Sparrow still funny?

When said lead doing said crap is Johnny Depp, my leniency grows by leaps and bounds. Plus i love Sparrow as a character.

[Morris Schæffer]

http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/115/1155325/POC4_DOM_1sht_v7_1300081207.jp g

[MadMan]

Pirates V > Master & CommanderNo. Especially since most fifth installments in a series typically suck. Also Master and Commander is better than the entire Pirates series.

[Morris Schæffer]

new trailer

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/48936

[Morris Schæffer]

Early word:

TOTAL FILM


Clearly damned to roam the seas churning out pirate films for all eternity – or until his contract runs out, whichever comes sooner – Johnny Depp inevitably returns as fancy-dress comedy buccaneer Jack Sparrow for Disney’s fourth instalment of Mild Piratical Peril. Because as long as the doubloons keep rolling in, the tested money-spinning formula will continue to be applied...

This year’s result, as sure as eggs is eggs, being another wacky race against time to retrieve some sort of thing everyone wants, framing another collection of vaguely diverting action sequences, frantic chases, showcase locations and lots of boring exposition.

This year’s Plot Propelling Object isn’t a magic compass, or a medallion, or a deck of 1977 Spider-man Top Trumps but a map to the legendary Fountain of Youth.

The race is between Geoffrey Rush’s now peg-legged rogue Captain Barbossa (still the most entertaining aspect to the entire franchise), on a mercenary expedition for King George II (Richard Griffiths in an oily cameo); some identikit Spaniards, largely forgotten about until the end; and guest-starring Big Bad Of The Week, Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach (Ian McShane), fearsome captain of the fire-spewing Queen Anne’s Revenge, practitioner of black magic and “The pirate all other pirates fear...”

Anyone expecting a potty-mouthed Deadwood-style cuss-fest from Lovejoy will obviously be disappointed, this being the collection of hypoallergenic family-friendly PG-13 set-pieces it is.

But it’s still an underused, and curiously understated performance given the competition, McShane not having much to do apart from kidnap mermaids and occasionally execute a crewman to remind everyone how terrible he is.

Of course, there’s no shortage of the finest ham being served elsewhere but Depp’s shtick as mincing annoyance Sparrow is now getting very old indeed.

Chicago director Rob Marshall seems to have realised this – he’s sidelined in a throwaway sub-plot involving Blackbeard’s daughter, old flame Angelica (Penélope Cruz – fiery, Spanish, etc) that, when he isn’t being chucked into the action when it suits the story, goes nowhere.

There are shiny pieces of eight hidden among the filler though – a languid sequence involving mermaids (‘mermaid tears’ being the other Maguffin) that turns on a dime into a nasty Jaws homage is effective, the fight scenes are as finely choreographed, if sterile, as ever, and a pell-mell opening chase shows off its impressive period London setting.
Mawkish though it may be, the only human touch – a cheesy romance between a captured mermaid and a hunky preacher – just illuminates the lack of depth elsewhere.

Inevitably, all the plot threads are left for Part Five to pick up, come 2015, albeit with hardly anyone to root for, rarely any real sense of threat or conflict, and characters who are at best unlikeable and at worst plain dull.

Verdict: Not as incomprehensible, or interminable, or rubbish as At World’s End, but no amount of flash and filigree can conceal a disappointingly soulless, directionless adventure-by-numbers.
All swash, no buckle: welcome back to the theme park ride that NEVER ENDS...


Read more: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides review | TotalFilm.com (http://www.totalfilm.com/reviews/cinema/pirates-of-the-caribbean-on-stranger-tides#ixzz1M2ZZpICd)

THE GUARDIAN


It's fitting that this fourth instalment of the mega booty-hauling franchise revolves around a quest for the fountain of youth. Here's a property that would give its right arm for some rejuvenation, having worn out its welcome last time round, way back in 2007. And having already paid an arm and a leg to persuade Johnny Depp (http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/johnnydepp) to reprise his Jack Sparrow role, you wouldn't imagine it had many more limbs to spare.

But the logic seems to be, if you're splashing out on your star, you'd better make a splash with the rest of the movie. This splashes so much, its stranger tides almost drown it. It's a succession of ever-escalating action sequences and grand settings. At first they're stunning, then they're routine, then they're wearying.
There is at least some new blood to power this rejuvenation exercise.
Depp is his usual mincing self but Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley have walked the plank when aboard clambers Penélope Cruz (http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/penelopecruz), as a duplicitous old flame of Jack's. Being Cruz, she's Spanish and feisty, and that's about it. And fitting right in as the new villain of the piece is Ian McShane's Blackbeard – a mystically powered captain whose orange, leathery complexion suggests he's spent long years trapped in a tanning salon.
Throw in Geoffrey Rush (http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/geoffrey-rush)'s Barbossa (now with a peg leg), and the British and Spanish navies, and you've got something close to a piratical wacky races. Everyone's racing to get to the fountain of youth, negotiating perilous terrain and fantastical episodes and stitching each other up. The freshest new monsters are some vicious but seductive mermaids, which are rather cruelly hunted, slaughtered and tortured along the way. That could traumatise a few younger viewers but being just about the only other women in the movie apart from Cruz, it also suggests something more worrying beneath the light-hearted mateyness. Worse still, everyone else is so scheming and self-centred and double-crossing, it's not always clear who to root for, who's in cahoots with whom, or what anyone's going to do if/when they actually find the sacred fountain.
The only virtuous role model is a hunky clergyman, played by Sam Claflin. In terms of visual spectacle, it almost goes without saying the film fitfully delivers. There are vertiginous 3D swoops up and down ships, in and out of water and over jungles, and some of the action is ingeniously choreographed.
The early scenes in 18th century London are particularly enjoyable, with Richard Griffiths as a delectably piggy George II, and Depp staging a thrilling escape on ropes and horse-drawn carriages.
But no sooner has one set piece ended, we're thrown into another one. In the brief moments of downtime there's some enjoyable comedy and even some useful dialogue but it's soon drowned out by another chase or swordfight or race to get some thing that will help them get another thing or stop someone else getting the thing they want.
As previous franchise-resuscitation attempts have shown (Indiana Jones, Die Hard, Rambo, Shrek, etc), it's difficult to come back with a part four after a long absence. The temptation to do something fresh is often outweighed by the fear of losing whatever it was that made it successful in the first place. This tries to do both, but ends up just trying too hard.
On general release from 18 May

[megladon8]

Oh, IGN...

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/8225/piratess.jpg

[Sxottlan]

Some of the reviews I've seen so far are making this thing sound like a total disaster.

This rant (http://www.slantmagazine.com/house/2011/05/a-fountain-of-maggots-rob-marshalls-pirates-of-the-caribbean-on-stranger-tides/#comments) compares it to a pile of maggots.

I thought about trudging to the theater to see this despite having no real desire to go (more a force of habit than anything), but now I'm wondering if I should go see Thor for a second time. Then again, if it's that bad, maybe I should see it. ;)

[Dukefrukem]

Some of the reviews I've seen so far are making this thing sound like a total disaster.

This rant (http://www.slantmagazine.com/house/2011/05/a-fountain-of-maggots-rob-marshalls-pirates-of-the-caribbean-on-stranger-tides/#comments) compares it to a pile of maggots.

I thought about trudging to the theater to see this despite having no real desire to go (more a force of habit than anything), but now I'm wondering if I should go see Thor for a second time. Then again, if it's that bad, maybe I should see it. ;)

:lol:


One of the worst films of all time, On Stranger Tides has absolutely and utterly no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I wanted to say it's like watching an enema, but even that's a good thing: you get rid of the filth. Instead, here, you are force-fed shit, then made to regurgitate it, and then eat it again

I didn't see the 2nd and 3rd in theaters and no way will I see this.

[Ezee E]

Very disappointing to hear. I thought by scaling it down some it would've been fun. Especially with McShane as the villain.

[Boner M]

It's fucking horrible; my friend called it 'a flatline of mediocrity' and that about sums it up. I've rarely seen a film that doles out its exposition so mechanically, and the action scenes are typical frenetic dullness. Rob Marshall should never be let near a camera again.

[Dukefrukem]

It will still make half a billion

[Boner M]

I really see no way that people could enjoy this film.

[Ivan Drago]

I really see no way that people could enjoy this film.

I'm seeing this at midnight. Uh oh...

[Ezee E]

No idea what to predict on this. I don't really think anyone's particularly excited about the movie to begin with. And the next few weeks are loaded with movies.

[Watashi]

My signature says it all.

[Sxottlan]

No idea what to predict on this. I don't really think anyone's particularly excited about the movie to begin with.

Yeah, no one was clamoring for this, especially after the last one.

I remember a scene in The Simpsons where Bart drives a hay thresher over a pile of manure and out of the funnel shoots copy after copy of World's End on DVD. :D

Just looking at the trailer for this film, about every line Sparrow utters just reeks of desperation.

[Ivan Drago]

I'm seeing this at midnight. Uh oh...

My fears were warranted. This sucked.

[TGM]

So I'll be seeing this on Saturday. I'm not really expecting much from it, but my friends are all going, so I figured I'll tag along. Hey, maybe it'll actually be good this time?

[Dukefrukem]

The real question is: is it worse than Transformers 2?

[B-side]

I wasn't worried about the critic pans as they generally didn't care for At World's End either and I still enjoyed it, but this reaction from you guys is not good to see.

[Scar]

Some of my in-laws are proclaiming that this is an awesome movie.

I do not go to my in-laws for movie recommendations.

[Henry Gale]

The real question is: is it worse than Transformers 2?

I think it'll be a whole different thing. Hate for Revenge of the Fallen seems to stem from the fact that it's an abrasively bad movie that made everything big and loud no matter what it was. People seem to be saying On Stranger Tides is just bad because of how boring and lifeless it is.

The only Pirates I haven't liked is Dead Man's Chest, which just stands out to me as the worst kind of sequel (constant references to the first movie, no resolution / weak cliffhanger, low stakes, characters off on separate uninteresting journeys). At least At World's End had enough insane touches to every setpiece and seemingly no limit to its ever-expanding scale to consistently keep me interested.

So I dunno, I thought this new one looked like it could have been fun... I guess I'll wait it out.

[Sxottlan]

Hehe. Wow! I'm almost disappointed it wasn't worse. Maybe if the whole movie was like the cringe-inducing scene between Sparrow and the king, it would have been unbearable. Instead, it's just instantly forgettable.

Now if you're one of those types who feel mediocre films are worse than flat out bad films, then indeed this is a terrible movie. Well hey it's terrible either way, but I expected nothing from this film and that's precisely what I took away from it.

Nothing happens in this movie. I can't remember the last time there was such a dull summer blockbuster. Maybe Angels & Demons? There's even little in the way of action. A carriage chase, some sword play, a quick mutiny, a mermaid attack and then some more sword play. Seriously. That's it. And across nearly two and a half hours. You have five boats racing to the Fountain of Youth and there isn't a single shot fired.

The actual characters with possible exception of Sparrow are fine in and of themselves. You'd think no longer caring for the main character would be the death blow, but Sparrow is so sidelined in this thing you almost don't even notice. He continues to be a captain without a ship and is therefore dead weight. Even without seeing any Deadwood, I could tell Ian McShane was just regurgitating his character from that show. Just without the harsh language. And oh yeah, he's magical.. or something. With the power to control rope.

They need to dump Sparrow and finally give Geoffrey Rush his own film as Barbosa. Just his verbal recollection of how Blackbeard captured the Black Pearl was more engrossing than any of the action scenes in this film.

Rob Marshall was all wrong for this, not that I'm sure he's really right for anything to begin with. He needs to go back to the stage or something. There were a few scenes in this film where he starts to set it up like a musical number before veering off in another direction. You're glad he didn't go there, but you're still resentful he made you think it was going to happen for even a moment. Another few seconds and I thought a lone spotlight was going to shine on the deck of the Queen Anne's Revenge and Jack would roll a fedora onto his head.


I think it'll be a whole different thing. Hate for Revenge of the Fallen seems to stem from the fact that it's an abrasively bad movie that made everything big and loud no matter what it was. People seem to be saying On Stranger Tides is just bad because of how boring and lifeless it is.

This. I've caught Rolling On The Floor on television a number of times and it eventually becomes watchable. Even if the full screen aspect ratio makes the visual effects look even worse. It's more preferable because at least something is happening.

I'd say At World's End is still the worst of the four films, but this is close.

[TGM]

So I saw the new Pirates movie, and, well, it was okay...ish, I guess. Though I did go in totally expecting it to be horrible, so that may have something to do with why I think that.

It certainly has issues, oh does it have issues. The action scenes overstay their welcome more often than not, there are several very convenient moments, most notably when one of the guards just randomly places down Jack's gun and sword before resuming to give chase.

Also, none of the new character are really all that interesting, and of the returning characters, only Barbosa really continues to impress. Jack just really doesn't feel like Jack anymore, though I will say he's more tolerable here than he was in At World's End. It's sad that Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley's characters, who I was originally thrilled to see weren't returning, were actually very much missed, and the new characters introduced completely failed to fill the void they left behind.

I will say this though, bad as the previous two were, at least they had several unforgettable images that will remain in your head long after you left the theater. It may be too early to say, but I just can't see that really being the case here. Not a whole lot interesting really happened.

Overall, it's not really a good movie, but I didn't walk out of the theater pissed off like I did the last one, so it does have that going for it. I guess by this point I'm just not invested at all in the series, so it's utter mediocrity just doesn't even affect me anymore, 'cause at this point, I honestly don't care.

[Skitch]

Its all been said before me. This was the weakest of the series ino. Boring. Forgettable. Glad to see some like minded folks here, because my circle of friends is saying its the best one since the first one, which I completely disagree with.

[Spinal]

Rob Marshall was all wrong for this, not that I'm sure he's really right for anything to begin with. He needs to go back to the stage or something.

His direction for Chicago and Nine wasn't very good either.

[megladon8]

Rob Marshall is fucking terrible.

[Fezzik]

This movie was 2 1/2 hours of meh punctuated by a few moments of brain-crushing stupidity.

[Dukefrukem]

Holy fuck. $90 million over the weekend Domestically... Worldwide: $346,400,000

[Irish]

Holy fuck. $90 million over the weekend Domestically... Worldwide: $346,400,000

Hope Depp hasn't washed off the mascara -- Pirates V here we come!

[Dukefrukem]

Hope Depp hasn't washed off the mascara -- Pirates V here we come!

I think they had two more movies planned from the start, but Depp said he waned to take a break for a bit before he went back. I JUST read something like this, but I can't find it.

[number8]

During press for World's End, he was asked if he'd do a fourth one, and he said he'll keep making Pirates 9, 10, 11, as long as they keep asking him to. For the kids or whatever.

[Pop Trash]

During press for World's End, he was asked if he'd do a fourth one, and he said he'll keep making Pirates 9, 10, 11, as long as they keep asking him to. For the kids or whatever.

Jesus Christ. This is going to be like the Saw movies where they litter the multiplexes and shut out screens for potentially good films.

[D_Davis]

My least favorite of the films, but I still mildly enjoyed it. Gore Verbinski is simply a better stylist than Marshall is, and this new film lacks the great images, vistas, and otherworldly strangeness of the other films, especially At World's End. The Spanish fleet was entirely wasted, and I missed the crew of the Black Pearl. Black Beard was pretty cool, but I would have loved to see more about his magical powers, and maybe some of his zombie sailors. It seems like the best parts of this film are merely mentioned, and not shown; a cardinal sin for all fiction if there ever was one. Once again, Rush steals the show with his portrayal of Barbosa.

[number8]

Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up.

[Dukefrukem]

neat (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110527/ap_on_re_us/us_blackbeard_s_ship)

[D_Davis]

If the Pirates films are going to continue, and if they are going to continue to base them on other works of fiction (the latest was based on a Tim Powers story), I'd love to see one or two based on the William Hope Hodgson's - the undisputed king of naval-based supernatural fiction - ghost pirate or Sargasso Sea stories.

These would make amazing films.

[Morris Schæffer]

neat (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110527/ap_on_re_us/us_blackbeard_s_ship)

That can't be a coincidence. :D

[chrisnu]

I wanted Bible Man to die, so fucking much.

[Dead & Messed Up]

I wanted Bible Man to die, so fucking much.

:lol:

The relationship between him and the mermaid could've worked, but it was so broad and large.

[Henry Gale]

So despite only passing $200 million domestically (by far the lowest of the series), this is now the 10th highest grossing movie of all time worldwide with $956 million.

Looking at the rest of the top ten, this has the biggest worldwide split with 77% overseas and 23% from North America, which makes sense in a way, because as someone who saw all of the first three in theatres with my friends, I now can't name a single person I know whatsoever that saw the new one.

[Dukefrukem]

We didn't even have a thread for the 4th movie? I swear we had a thread for the 5th movie.

Edit: oh wait, this is the 4th movie- Wow it was 4 years ago??

Well

http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2015/merrick/captainjackpirates5_large.jpg

[Skitch]

The fourth one was so bad and forgettable. I hope they spice this one up.

[Ivan Drago]

Johnny Depp is just asking for a Tugg Speedman-esque parody of him at this point.

[Morris Schæffer]

That look on Johnny's face seems as if he's looking at his career trajectory from afar.

[Spinal]

That look on Johnny's face seems as if he's looking at his career trajectory from afar.

They tied him up and made him watch Mortdecai.

[MadMan]

I can't wait to bemoun the lack of a Master and Commander sequel in the next POTC thread.