Make a popular movie better

[Winston*]

This is a fun game. I think we may have played it before.

Like this:

King Kong (2005) - End the film with a shot of Ann Darrow being dragged raving down the corridor of a mental institution. Cut to black. Movie's instantly ten times better.

Now you go.

[Dukefrukem]

Spider Man 3:

Cut out the Sandman villain. Have the Symbiote be the main focus. Copy the cartoon; huge Space Shuttle crash scene on the Brooklyn Bridge. Symbiote escapes. Attaches itself to Peter. Peter Kills Harry. Realizes he's killed Harry & his Father. Goes nuts at the Bell Tower. Symbiote leaves Peter attaches to Eddie. Spider Man fights Venom at the end. Venom escapes. to be continued...

[Winston*]

Spider-Man 3:

Cut out the Sandman villain, Venom villain and Spider-Man, and have the entire film be James Franco's character tasting different foods and giving his enthusiastic impressions of them.

[Boner M]

Let the Right One In - Eli catches Oskar spying on her getting changed. Eli retorts, "it was the cold, baby, I swear!". Oskar sighs with relief and film continues unchanged.

[Skitch]

Can I make suggestions as to which director should take over a series? I was gonna start a thread about it, but it would fit in this conversation.

[Dukefrukem]

Yes after you tell me where you Avatar is from. i know it's Akira. but where is that artwork?

[Skitch]

Yes after you tell me where you Avatar is from. i know it's Akira. but where is that artwork?

Fan art.

[Ezee E]

Revolutionary Road ends about 10-15 minutes earlier, when Leo goes off to work.

Would've been a perfect ending.

[Sycophant]

Revolutionary Road ends about 10-15 minutes earlier, when Leo goes off to work.

Would've been a perfect ending.

So, so agreed.

[Qrazy]

Rev Road SPOILERS

Ehh I thought the end of Revolutionary Road was it's strongest element (hearing aid) and I did not like the film much. It also tied in the emotions of the neighbors as well. The crucial moment was a bit obvious and a bit too much but at least it provided a repercussion for all that came before and finally removed the family from suburbia, so that they could then be replaced by yet another couple. If it had just ended it would have communicated the uneasy truce the marriage had become but I think it was clear that at that point a truce could not genuinely be reached. Winslet's character really loathed DiCaprio's by the end of the film.

Then again I find the thesis that everyone in suburbia is miserable kind of idiotic. I'd like to see a film about suburbia which balances it's unhappy characters with well adapted individuals... they can still have their problems but there is enduring love there and the relationship itself is rock solid. It's more interesting to me to examine why certain individuals can adapt while others can =not rather than to presuppose that no one can adapt and that suburbia itself is a soul crushing experience.

[Skitch]

Rev Road should be here today, so I'm not reading that.

[Dukefrukem]

Then again I find the thesis that everyone in suburbia is miserable kind of idiotic. I'd like to see a film about suburbia which balances it's unhappy characters with well adapted individuals... .

American Beauty?

Although there were a lot of unhappy characters and only 1 or 2 that actually adapted to the world/environment around them. Birch being one of them.

[Sven]

American Beauty?

Not even.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Transformers 2

Sam and the gang actually respond to the Decepticon that can look like a human. The rest of the film is about them being unsure of who else might be a Decepticon. It turns out Megan Fox was one all along, which explains the acting.

[Morris Schæffer]

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would have been called Indiana Jones & The Fate of Atlantis.

[Dukefrukem]

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would have been called Indiana Jones & The Fate of Atlantis.

So you'd only change the title??

[Grouchy]

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull would have been called Indiana Jones & The Fate of Atlantis.
This is true but then it should also have been made several years earlier.

[number8]

Juno ends with a miscarriage that kills her. The doctor, dumping the unformed fetus, pops a Fred Flinstones Pez and tells his nurse, "Sometimes you just got to leggo that preggo, nursery rhymes."

[Derek]

Juno ends with a miscarriage that kills her. The doctor, dumping the unformed fetus, pops a Fred Flinstones Pez and tells his nurse, "Sometimes you just got to leggo that preggo, nursery rhymes."

Post of the month.

[Morris Schæffer]

So you'd only change the title??

Mos def not. I enjoyed Indy IV enough, but I didn't like them Crystal Skulls. The story just didn't do it for me.

[Ivan Drago]

Juno ends with a miscarriage that kills her. The doctor, dumping the unformed fetus, pops a Fred Flinstones Pez and tells his nurse, "Sometimes you just got to leggo that preggo, nursery rhymes."

I don't know whether to rep you or condemn you.

[B-side]

Rev Road SPOILERS

Ehh I thought the end of Revolutionary Road was it's strongest element (hearing aid) and I did not like the film much. It also tied in the emotions of the neighbors as well. The crucial moment was a bit obvious and a bit too much but at least it provided a repercussion for all that came before and finally removed the family from suburbia, so that they could then be replaced by yet another couple. If it had just ended it would have communicated the uneasy truce the marriage had become but I think it was clear that at that point a truce could not genuinely be reached. Winslet's character really loathed DiCaprio's by the end of the film.

Then again I find the thesis that everyone in suburbia is miserable kind of idiotic. I'd like to see a film about suburbia which balances it's unhappy characters with well adapted individuals... they can still have their problems but there is enduring love there and the relationship itself is rock solid. It's more interesting to me to examine why certain individuals can adapt while others can =not rather than to presuppose that no one can adapt and that suburbia itself is a soul crushing experience.

So repped.


Juno ends with a miscarriage that kills her. The doctor, dumping the unformed fetus, pops a Fred Flinstones Pez and tells his nurse, "Sometimes you just got to leggo that preggo, nursery rhymes."

Brilliant.

[Skitch]

Michael Mann directs Bad Boys 3.

[Dukefrukem]

Michael Mann directs Bad Boys 3.

And Michael Bay directs Miami Vice, and casts Mark Wahlberg instead of Colin Ferrell.

[Sven]

And Michael Bay directs Miami Vice, and casts Mark Wahlberg instead of Colin Ferrell.

Farrell was SO not the problem with that movie. He was one of the better parts, actually. At least, his 'stache was...

[Winston*]

There's not enough scowling in this movie! We've gotta get Wahlberg!

[Dukefrukem]

Farrell was SO not the problem with that movie. He was one of the better parts, actually. At least, his 'stache was...

He was absolutely horrendous. I wrote a review on it somewhere and talked about specific examples. I need to find it.

[Ezee E]

I've never had a problem with Colin Farrell. I think he's been good in everything I've seen him in.

[Skitch]

Len Wiseman directs The Fastiest & Furiousest.

David Fincher directs Miami Vice 2, starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Fox, with Alan Rickman, Benecio Del Toro, Joseph Gordon Leavitt, and Gary Oldman.

Ryheui Kitamura directs Predator(s) 3, starring Ed Harris, Vinnie Jones, Olga Kurylenko, and Jason Patrick.

Christopher Nolan directs Alien 5, starring Gabriel Byrne, Giavanni Ribisi, Milla Jovovich, Dexter Fletcher, Pete Postlewaite, Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, and Colm Feore.

Christopher Guest directs Fantastic Four 3, starring David Hasselhoff, Matthew Lillard, Maggie Gyllenhall, and John C. Reilly.

[Ezee E]

None of Skitch's movies are making popular movies better.

[Skitch]

None of Skitch's movies are making popular movies better.

Shenanigans! They're plausible improvements!

[number8]

Shenanigans! They're plausible improvements!

He's referring to the fact that none of those are actual existing movies.

[Skitch]

He's referring to the fact that none of those are actual existing movies.

Oh...well, I asked permission.

[Dukefrukem]

Oh...well, I asked permission.

And I allowed it.

Continue.

[trotchky]

Doubt - The last shot of the movie is Meryl Streep crying, rather than that completely pointless theatrical cut-away to the swirling leaves.

[Spun Lepton]

Spider-Man 3 could have easily been fixed by dumping everything related to Venom, and just sticking with Sandman as originally intended. That cuts out the half-assed origin stories for both Sandman and Venom, and clears up all kinds of time spent on "emo Peter."

But, I would not surprised if Raimi pulled a Gilliam and intentionally fucked it up to get back at the studio's interference.

[Derek]

Spider-Man 2 would be improved if it were directed by the Dardenne Brothers and the entire film was about Peter's job troubles and Aunt May trying to get a loan from the bank. Cake Girl would be homeless, but own a pastry cart and would show up every 10 minutes to offer Peter another piece of cake.

Winston* already fixed Spider-Man 3 so we can all move on from that one.

[chrisnu]

Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one) - have them go to the island only one time. Essentially rebooting the movie after the first time (and adding another hour to the running time) killed any momentum.

[Winston*]

Spider-Man 2 would be improved if it were directed by the Dardenne Brothers and the entire film was about Peter's job troubles and Aunt May trying to get a loan from the bank. Cake Girl would be homeless, but own a pastry cart and would show up every 10 minutes to offer Peter another piece of cake.

Winston* already fixed Spider-Man 3 so we can all move on from that one.
Derek understands what this thread is for.

[ThePlashyBubbler]

If Vicky Cristina Barcelona had been rated NC-17, for "non-Javier Bardem nudity."

[bac0n]

The very end of Cinderella: as Cinderella & The Prince leave in their wedding carriage through the gates of the castle, the camera pans to the left, where, on a wall can be seen The Wicked Stepmother's head on a pike.

[Dead & Messed Up]

Pirates of the Caribbean (the first one) - have them go to the island only one time. Essentially rebooting the movie after the first time (and adding another hour to the running time) killed any momentum.

Pirates of the Caribbean (all movies) - Eliminate Will Turner. Films are automatically shorter by half an hour or more, and the only romance is between Sparrow and Swann, which makes sense, because they're a perfect evocation of the Flynn/DeHavilland dynamic. Keeps the flicks light, punchy, and sharp.